The Twelve Days of Fenchurch East
by xX-Misty
Summary: It's Christmas Eve 1997 and after a very tough year the officers and detectives of Fenchurch East deserve a very merry Christmas but sprouts, frozen pipes and unwise piercing choices threaten the possibility of festive cheer. Will Alex and Gene find their Christmas invaded once again or will it be peace and goodwill all round for once? A little fluffy mini-fic.
1. A Partridge in a Pear Tree

**A Partridge in a Pear Tree**

"No bloody chocolate."

"What did I tell you about opening those windows in advance?" Alex raised an eyebrow as she unfolded a string of lights.

Despite Gene's initial burst of festivity, December had proven to be a difficult month for everyone and somehow it was Christmas eve already and the tree still wasn't up. Gene was happy to leave it down – he was feeling somewhat strange about Christmas, remembering that he'd spent the last one without Alex. That should have been more of a reason to make a big deal about it but the more he thought about the festive season the more he remembered spending the last one without her.

"Only window I've got left to open is the bedroom one if Shoebury tries gatecrashing this year," he mumbled.

Alex stood up and pulled forward a chair to stand on.

"You've turned into Scrooge," she said, "you need to get a little more Christmas spirit in you."

"Plenty of Christmas spirit in me," Gene commented, taking another swig of scotch.

"That's not Christmassy," Alex told him.

"I'll stick a sprout in it," Gene mumbled.

Alex fixed the end of the lights to the top of the tree and began to wind them around the branches.

"It would do you good to come to the Christmas party tonight," she told him.

"What, spend the night shaking my backside to Will bloody Smith in the company of the _Twelve Gays o'Christmas_," Gene shook his head, "no ta."

"Gene, that's not nice," Alex told him, "…besides, half of them are bisexual."

"That include you?" Gene asked and Alex looked uncomfortable.

"Pass," she said as she stepped down from the chair and started winding the lights around the lower branches. She felt a little strange about the question, partly because she was no closer to an answer than she had been months before and partly because it felt incredibly strange for such a question to be coming from Gene.

"I just want to know whether you're going to be taking yer copy of _Bound_ back to the shop on boxing day or not," Gene told her.

"You can't figure out someone's sexuality based on their viewing habits," Alex pointed out.

"I'm not so sure about that," Gene told her, "thinking back you seemed to show a lot of interest in the girly scene in Moll Flanders."

"Oh, _shush_ now," Alex admonished as she finished winding the lights around the tree and bopped Gene on the head with a box of new tree decorations.

"I'm just saying if Stringer was more of the _heaving bosoms_ type then maybe this whole situation would be a bit more interesting for me," he told her.

"For you and your left hand," Alex raised an eyebrow. Gene couldn't really think of a good retort to that so he let her win that round.

"The Christmas do though… Nah, don't really feel like it," he said, going back to her original point, "not really my scene." He paused. "You should go though."

"I don't want to go without you," Alex frowned.

"Need you out the house for a while," he told her.

"On Christmas eve?" Alex frowned, "why?"

Gene cleared his throat.

"Don't want you to see me pilfering stuff from the kitchen drawer to wrap up for our nearest and dearest," he mumbled.

Alex rolled her eyes and tried to look annoyed but didn't quite succeed. It was good to know that some things really never changed.

~xXx~

"Guys, I _told_ you, I'm not having a tree."

Robin ad Kim exchanged a look and folded their arms.

"I've heard about you," Robin told Simon, "you've turned into a real Scrooge over the last couple of years."

"I'm not a Scrooge, I just don't see the point of decorations!" Simon protested.

"Scrooge," Kim told him.

"I'm going to be here on my own all day tomorrow," Simon reminded them, "there's going to be no one around to see so what's the point of decorations?"

Robin looked at Kim who seemed sad and was looking at Simon with pity.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I guess we… forgot that."

"I'm not happy about you being on your own," Robin told him quietly.

"I'm not five, I don't need babystting!" Simon cried.

"No, but –"

"I'm _fine_," Simon repeated, "I don't feel much like celebrating anyway. It'll just be a normal day, except instead of spending it chasing renegade toasters I'll get to spend it in front the TV." He paused. "With beer."

"_Si,"_ Robin said sadly, "You can't spend Christmas alone."

Simon shrugged a little despondently.

"That's just the way it is though," he said quietly.

"I suppose you could always spend tomorrow round with us," Kim suggested but Simon could tell that both she and Robin were relieved when he shook his head.

"You two need to spend your first Christmas together, alone," he told them.

"It's not our first Christmas," said Robin.

"It's your first one _here_," Simon told them, "_and_ your first one alone, right?"

"That's true," Kim nodded. As much as she and Robin had enjoyed having Alex as a houseguest they couldn't deny they were looking forward to having privacy for the big day - and not have to worry about making a noise in case they gave Alex another year of nightmares.

"Kim's right though, Si," Robin began, "you've had a couple of shitty Christmases. You deserve a good one."

"I wouldn't say they were _totally_ shitty," Simon said, catching Kim's eye and smiling.

"Gate-crashing Gene and Alex was the best decision we ever made," she said, "even if Gene did give me a wooden spoon or somthing."

"_And_ you ate ten pounds of sprouts," Simon reminded her and Kim blanched.

"Thank you for bringing back that glorious memory," she cringed.

"That was probably the start of your digestion issues," Simon told her.

"I don't have bloody _digestion issues!"_ Kim cried, her face burning up at the accusation.

"No, of course not - it's the _drains_ making the noise, I suppose," Simon laughed but found a long, plastic icicle in front of his nose.

"Care to see if this fits up your nostril?!" Kim offered violently and Simon gave a nervous laugh.

"Erm, that's OK," he said, backing away.

Robin started to pull the tree pieces out of the black bag they'd been residing in.

"Let's just get this together without any fatalities," he said.

"I _told_ you I don't want decorations," Simon sighed.

"You had a tree, you might as well use it."

"I never _wanted_ the tree in the first place," Simon protested.

"You've still got one," Robin pointed out. He froze. "You've got _our_ tree." He turned to Kim looking slightly distressed, "Kim, this is _our tree!_ The one that went missing!"

Kim groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Oh _god,"_ she sighed, "you've barely gotten over the trauma of that."

"I _decorated_ this thing!" Robin cried, "the _whole tree_ and it just… _vanished!"_

"Yeah well," Simon huffed, "at least you didn't hand over money to Gene for losing a bet that he wasn't going to decorate it, only to find out later that the tree teleported from two thousand and _bollocks!"_

"_Our tree!"_ Robin said pitifully and Kim rubbed his shoulder with a sigh.

"_There there,"_ she said.

"No need to be sarcastic!"

"I was trying to be _supportive!"_ Kim protested.

"I knew this tree was more trouble than it was worth!" Simon told them

"Some might say the same about us," Kim commented as she looked from Simon to Robin and they all exchanged a smile. Simon looked down as he thought fondly back to the Christmas he and Kim had shared in nineteen ninety five; the very best of friends, gate-crashing Alex and Gene's Christmas, ending up blind drunk and rounding off the day with a cheesy film while they nursed their aching heads.

"That's true," he said quietly.

The three of them smiled again. Between them all lay a lot of memories.

"Simon?" Kim said quietly, "come round tomorrow?"

"Please?" Robin added.

Simon hesitated as he looked at their faces and saw this time there was no hesitation in their invitations. There was a part of him that still wasn't sure about intruding but he knew they were sincere, and besides he really didn't want to be alone.

"Alright," he same with a sift smile, "thank you."

"_Yessss,"_ Kim smiled.

"But no sprouts," Simon warned.

"Deal," Robin smiled back.

"Good," Kim began, "I'm glad we've got that settled. Now can we _please_ get these decorations on the tree before they do another disappearing act?"

Simon finally nodded.

"Unscrooge me," he told them.

~xXx~

"Was that all you needed, babe?" Shaz asked as Marci took the long string of lights from her and looked over the bulbs.

"Oh you _star_," she said thankfully, "that was all, thank you so much, Shaz. I can't believe my lights died the day before Christmas."

"Hope these are alright," Shaz said, "we used to put them outside the door but since my flatmate moved in with her boyfriend and I found the other place there's nowhere to hang them."

"Lifesaver," Marci smiled happily. She leaned forward and kissed Shaz's lips quickly before asking, "See you tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Shaz smiled. She linked hands with Marci briefly then had to pull apart to leave while Marci stood at the front door with a big smile across her face. She flew Shaz a kiss then turned around slowly to find Jake standing along the hall, arms folded and one eyebrow raised.

"_Oh Shaz, I can't wait for tonight,"_ he squeaked in a voice that didn't resemble Marci's in the slightest.

Marci rolled her eyes and closed the door.

"You're just jealous because you can't seem to get past the 'friendly dinner' stage with Chief Inspector Thomas," she retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well you're a fine one to talk right now," Jake teased as Marci took the lights through into the living room, "I've never seen you take a relationship this slowly in your life." He paused as she knelt by the tree to plug in the lights and test them out, "even with the guy who was biologically confused and wasn't sure what part he was supposed to use."

"Jake, he was _extremely_ pissed, and for what it's worth that was a _very_ large haemorrhoid!" Marci told him crossly.

"It's true though," Jake's tone was softer now as he tilted his head curiously, "why are you two moving so slowly? You're perfect for each other. Everybody says so."

"Who's everybody?" Marci asked.

"Me and Robin."

Marci sighed.

"I refer you to my previous point," she said.

"Marci," Jake sat down and folded his arms, "it's just unusual for you, you know."

Marci glanced around and found herself starting to feel a little sad.

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I know. And you _are_ right. I'm nervous."

"When have you ever been nervous?"

"I mean about pushing Shaz too quickly," Marci told him, "after what she went through with her ex… thinking she was dead all that time, and then freaking out with me… I don't want to take things too fast."

"Didn't you see her eyes light up when you mentioned tonight?" Jake asked, "She probably thinks _you're_ the one who's not ready because every time you say goodbye and she starts to ask you back for the night you start yawning and stretching and taking about having an early start!"

"This is still rich coming from you," said Marci. She switched on the lights and smiled as they all lit up and began to dance around in a circle, then started to frown as they began to play _We Wish You A Merry Christmas_ at a pace and pitch that quite frankly should have been illegal. She pressed the button a few times to shut them up and breathed a sigh of relief. "You know, I really thought this was going to be the year that Jake Dawson shed the terminally single label."

"What are we here to pull apart, our love lives or the Christmas tree?" Jake asked and Marci gave a sigh.

"Alright," she said, getting up from the floor, "let's do this."

They approached the tree somewhat cautiously and began trying to work the old, broken lights out from the branches, but with layers of tinsel and baubles over the top it was impossible.

"Think we're going to have to just lay these on over the top and hope for the best," Jake told her.

"I think you're right," she said. She worked her way along to the end of the string. "Go on, you're taller than me, fix this to the top.

"Charming," Jake responded. He stretched up and began to twist the end of the wire around the top branches. "Some things never change," he commented, "I've been doing the top of your lights since you were a kid.

"I paid you with a frog," Marci remembered.

"Where did you even _catch_ it?" Jake asked.

"I don't know but it was the start of a beautiful friendship." Marci smiled.

"I'm not sure beautiful is the way to describe it," Jake stepped back and handed the rest of the wire to Marci. "Here."

"Thanks," she said as she began to wind it around carefully. She sighed as she looped it around the branches, "anyway, don't do us down, Dawson. How many other people do you know whose friendship started with a leaping amphibian?"

"Like you did me a favour!" cried Jake, "you've no idea how much trouble I got into!"

"You didn't even have the common decency to call it Kermit!" Marci protested and Jake gave a quiet laugh as he helped Marci to unravel the rest of the wire.

"The next Christmas I did it for free," he pointed out, "far less hassle."

"Every Christmas you helped me," Marci smiled.

"Loved our Christmas traditions," Jake told her, "helping each other with the trees, swapping presents on Christmas eve, your family throwing a fit because I rang the bell at half eight on Christmas morning…"

"Me getting the '_this is a family time_' lecture every year, " Marci added.

"At least it _was_ a family time for you," Jake said quietly. His hand rose to his neck and felt for the chain under his shirt as Marci's expression fell a little.

"Yeah," she said quietly. They both sank to the ground, even though the lights were only half done. "I know you must have been thinking about her lately, so close to Christmas."

Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"It's funny," he said, "I was so young when she died that I don't really remember much about her but times like this I always think of her. Christmas. Birthdays. The anniversary.

"Yeah," Marci said quietly. She laid a hand over Jake's and rubbed it softly.

"After she died Dad was never bothered about Christmas," Jake continued, "only had a tree every year because you came round to help me. Then again, Dad was never that bothered with _me_."

"Did you ever think about tracing –"

"No."

"But you've got family you've never met –"

"and I never will because the last thing they need is a stranger turning up on their doorstep," Jake told her, "seriously, Marci, we've been through this over and over."

"I know," Marci said quietly. She knew that it wasn't her family or her decision but Jake often seemed so alone. She could see his expression growing strained and decided to do her best to change the subject. She started to pick up the lights again and gave him a little smile. "Remember the Christmas we got stranded in the car and you claimed you heard sleigh bells?"

"I thought they _were!"_ Jake protested.

"You were bloody _seventeen_ at the time!" Marci reminded him.

"Remember the Christmas you ate the cake mix raw and barfed all over the tree?" Jake countered.

"The eggs were off," Marci protested.

"So was your stomach for the rest of Christmas," Jake teased.

"Remember when you bought your dad Sonic Spinball for Christmas and we spent most of the holidays doing stupid voices to put him off?"

"He never did complete the damn thing," Jake smiled nostalgically, "and remember the time I saved you a cracker –"

"And it was the only one without a bloody gift in it," Marci finished, "Yeah. I still swear someone took it out."

"I would never do that!" Jake told her, "…I'd already fixed it so that I would get the big end, I had no reason to take the gift out!"

They both fell silent with their nostalgic smiles, remembering years gone by. Finally Marci asked,

"Hey, Jake? Remember last Christmas?"

Jake hesitated. His face creased in confusion.

"No," he said quietly.

Marci bit her lip. She thought she was the only one.

"Neither do I," she whispered.

That was the first time either of them realised that something wasn't right in their memories or in their minds. It was the first time that either had put a question mark over their existence.

For the sake of the world, just pray it was the last.

_**~xXx~**_

_**A/N: Don't faint… this is going to be fluff. Yes, fluff. Happiness, smiley faces, nice cheerful fluff. Well about 95% of it is fluff anyway! I was just going to do a Christmas oneshot but I finished my last fic much faster than I thought I would so I decided to make this a proper fic with each chapter named after the corresponding day in the Twelve Days of Christmas. I'll warn you now, it's also going to be pretty shippy and the rating will be rising to an M around chapter 4. Different people like different things so if you're not interested in the fluff that's fine, skip this fic and start reading again when I start the next story and pick up the serious plots again :)**_

_**Of course I don't own Ashes to Ashes, I wish I could say the same about Simon's jumper :P**_

_**I hope you enjoy some cheerful fluff for once! Oh, and, erm… happy Christmas… in March!**_


	2. Two Turtle Doves

**Two Turtle Doves**

"They are.

"They're not."

"They _are!"_

"They're bloody not!"

"I know doves when I see them!"

"Those are not bloody doves, they're pigeons!"

"They're too pretty to be pigeons."

"Pretty? Those beady-eyed air-rats look scruffier than Shoebury after his fifth pint of the night!"

Alex sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, shifting her position a little as they both sat peering out of the window.

"Well whatever they are they've not touched the sprout crumble. That's going to sit in our back garden forever."

"Can you blame them?"

"Well, no! But it wasn't my idea to throw it outside for the birds to eat, was it?"

"Bin men won't take it," Gene picked up his mug and warmed his hands on it, "remember last time?"

"We know to put it in a glass container next time so that it won't melt the new wheelie bin," Alex told him, "And anyway, _I _wasn't the one who brought it home!"

"You wanted me to _eat_ it?" Gene accused, "what's my digestive system ever done to you?"

"You didn't have to accept it in the _first_ place!"

"Have you ever seen how quick that woman is twatting you with that ladle if you don't take the sprouts, Drake?!" Gene barked, "took me a week to get the green stain off me head last time!"

Alex smiled and tried not to snigger at the memory as she stared out of the window at the birds pecking in the garden, avoiding the sprouty goodness at all costs. She exhaled heavily and lifted her mug.

"Can you believe it's Christmas Eve already?" she asked.

"Not a moment too soon," Gene muttered, "if I have to listen to Bammo's rendition of Roy Chubby Brown's bloody Christmas song one more time I'm going to insert various pieces from the office nativity scene into every orifice."

Alex sipped her coffee and leaned back, her eyes scanning the room. They'd done a pretty good job of redecorating, she was happy to admit that. It felt strange to think they'd lived there for less than a year. In some ways it felt like it had always been home. In others it still felt strange and unusual. She'd spent so many years sharing with Gene the flat where Kim and Robin now resided that it felt weird not to call it home any more.

"First Christmas."

Gene's words brought Alex out of her thoughts.

"Sorry?"

"First Christmas in the new place," Gene pointed out.

Alex nodded fondly.

"Must have been reading my thoughts again," she said.

"I've been practicing," Gene commented before gulping down half of his coffee. He noticed that Alex's expression seemed to be fluctuating between several different emotions. He could understand that. It had been a momentous year and full of extremes. "Run the full gamut of human emotion, haven't we?" he asked and Alex looked at him incredulously.

"Simon's bought you word-of-the-day toilet paper, hasn't he?" she frowned.

Gene ignored that remark.

"Not gonna see another year like this one," he said.

"I should hope not," Alex shuddered. She drank her coffee, letting the warm liquid take away a little of the stress she felt, remembering the events of the last 12 months. She hadn't even started the year in the right world. "God, Gene," she whispered, "can you imagine if I'd never made it back?"

Gene blanched.

"Not without throwing up, I can't," he mumbled.

Alex looked at Gene, feeling her lip waiver just a little. She had spent a long time trying not to think about it but now that Christmas had arrived it was impossible to keep it from her mind.

"I tried so hard to get back here sooner than I did," she said quietly.

"I know," Gene nodded, "everything else did and all. Christmas trees. Batman's bloody ingredients. Contents of Stringer's desk." He shook his head and swallowed. Now _he_ was thinking about it too. "Could have keeled over in shock when Batman walked out of that jewellery shop instead of you."

Alex swallowed and looked down.

"It _should_ have been me," she said quietly, "I'm sure of that. I was supposed to go home that day but somehow he ended up over here instead." She found herself biting on her lip. "If I had… If I had, I'm sure she'd still be with us." She looked at Gene, "the baby."

Gene found his eyes turning away. He couldn't comprehend how much they'd faced and survived over the space of one year.

"January was a bloody nightmare," he said, "I lost a daughter," he stared into his mug, "and gained a son."

Alex nodded slowly. Had it really been almost a year since the truth about Simon came out?

"I'm really proud of you, Gene," she said.

Gene looked up in confusion.

"For what?" he asked, "not slurping my coffee?"

"For the way you and Simon have dealt with this," Alex explained.

"Took us most of the bloody year to stop pulling each other's hair out," Gene mumbled.

"No, you both coped remarkably well, considering."

"Considering what? I've been harbouring a recessive geek gene?"

"No," Alex sighed but she gave a gentle smile, "considering how two men who professed to hate one another a long time ago came to be friends and then face a shock like that you both coped better than I'd have expected."

"I'm hardly his father figure, Bols."

"He never needed you to be." Alex sighed. "He needed a friend. So did you."

"He's got Batman and Stringer for that now," Gene mumbled, staring out the window, "doesn't need 'is bloody _daddy_ any more."

Alex looked at Gene with a sly smile.

"You're not jealous are you?" she asked.

"What have I got to be jealous of?" Gene challenged, "Batman's floppy hair or Stringer's bloody ears that have got more holes than the X-Files mythology?"

"Before they arrived you were the closest person to Simon," Alex explained, "it was the first time you'd had a friend in years."

"I don't _do_ 'friends' I do 'people who'll get the next round in'," Gene corrected.

"Oh, _whatever_," Alex flapped her hand and finished her coffee. She parked down her mug and hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Gene."

"Who says I'm worried?" Gene mumbled.

"Your comment about Kim's ears for a start." Alex had to laugh as Gene developed a moody teen pout, like a kid who'd been told he wasn't allowed to stay out past nine at night. She moved a little closer and laid a hand on his knee. "Simon comes to you for things that he wouldn't go to anyone else for. He doesn't need a father figure but he needs a confidante. Just like you. You find that in one another. Robin's too close, their history makes it hard for Simon to talk with him about certain things. And his friendship with Kim is… is more like a sibling relationship in a way."

"I don't need bloody Stringer as a daughter," Gene cried in horror, "no one needs a robot hybrid amongst their offspring."

Alex smiled distantly for a few moments but her mind turned back to a darker matter and one that they both knew was going to emerge over the festive period. They couldn't help that.

"Do you think about her, Gene?" she asked quietly. Gene's stare was on her, she could feel it. It never wavered, never moved. She wasn't ready to look him in the eye though. He already knew who she was talking about, there was no need for her to explain.

"Don't need to tell you the answer to that, do I?" his voice was low and Alex had rarely heard him sound that close to the edge of actual tears. She swallowed and shook her head.

"No," she whispered, "you don't."

"Bolly."

Alex waited for him to continue. When he stayed silent she turned to look at him. That's what he'd been waiting for. "It'll happen again."

Alex hesitated. It was something that they hadn't discussed since the day of Princess Diana's death when the strangeness of the day and the emption caused them to confront things they had been desperately trying to avoid. Despite reaching the point of _not trying but not preventing_ and throwing a comment Simon's way to give him nightmares for the rest of eternity it hasn't been talked about since. Sometimes Alex wondered if Gene even remembered what they'd decided. Sometimes she worried that if she fell pregnant he wouldn't be happy. She knew they were paranoid thoughts but she also knew that if she hadn't fallen pregnant accidentally and left a baby behind in another world and another time then they might never have decided to try.

Gene didn't talk about things. He couldn't. He tried now and then but it wasn't his way and although he'd come far over the years that Alex had known him he still found some things difficult. Much of their relationship had been unspoken; a nod, a glint in the eye, maybe a 'yeah, me an' all'. Often that was all Alex needed. Every now and then she needed a little more than that and usually Gene found it difficult to deliver that. But sometimes, just every now and then, he found the magic formula to opening up, just for a little while.

"It'll happen," he said again.

"Will it?" Alex whispered, not completely sure of that.

Gene shuffled closer and looked at her with a stare that was worth a thousand arms around her shoulders.

"Next year will be better," he said seriously, "all those things we should have had, we'll have. Rings and a kid. We're owed it." He straightened up a little, "besides."

Alex waited.

"Yes?"

"Me boys know what direction to go," Gene told her proudly.

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Your _boys_ seem to have been getting a little lost so far," Alex pointed out.

"That's only because no one told them they were on a bloody mission," Gene told her, "they thought they could relax first. Didn't know there was a hurry. Now they know…" he cleared his throat, feeling suddenly more uncomfortable, "now they know they've been given permission to look for their ladyfriends they'll make sure they take the map with them."

Alex's mouth twitched up at one side into a half smile while the other half of her face tried to frown questioningly.

"Gene Hunt, that sounds suspiciously like a decision to try," she accused.

"I'm not having the competence if me boys called into question," Gene told her, looking away and trying not to smirk. Or was it a smile? The two seemed to go hand in hand for Gene and brought out a similar reaction in Alex. She tried to subdue her own smile as she stared out into the room. The tree was up, the presents tucked underneath and there was nothing to be done until the station's Christmas party that night. She pursed her lips and nodded slowly.

"I see," she said. She got to her feet and held out her hand.

"What?" Gene frowned.

"Come on then," she told him.

"What do you mean 'come on then'?" Gene demanded.

"Arm your boys with the map," she told him, "it's time they learned a few new orienteering skills."

"Alexandra _Bollinger knickers _Drake, are you suggesting that they practice their directional skills at half twelve in the afternoon?"

"No time like the present," Alex shrugged innocently.

Gene hesitated for all of half a second, then got to his feet.

"You're on."


	3. Three French Hens

_**A/N: Sorry about the length of this chapter!**_

**~xXx~**

**Three French Hens**

"Simon, how could you forget your Christmas shopping until Christmas eve?" Robin groaned as he and Kim traipsed along behind him through the packed shopping centre.

"I didn't realise Christmas Eve was so close!" Simon protested, "it crept up on me!"

"It wouldn't have done if you'd had your tree up sooner," Kim commented cheekily.

"You didn't have to come!" Simon told him.

"We were supposed to all be going for lunch!" Kim reminded him.

"_I'll treat you to lunch_, he said," Robin shook his head, "_let me thank you for putting my tree up_, he said."

"I just have to get a few things first," Simon told them.

"The queues in this place… we'll still be here by the time the Christmas do starts tonight!" Robin protested.

"I'm going to pass out if we don't eat soon," Kim complained, her stomach growling.

"I'm going to fall _over_ of we don't _sit down_ soon!" Robin added, "you've dragged us to five shops just to buy Alex a tin opener!"

"_Electric_ tin opener," Simon corrected.

"That makes _so_ much difference," Kim rolled her eyes.

"_One_ more shop," Simon told them, "one more shop and then we'll –" he froze suddenly.

"What's wrong?" frowned Robin.

Simon turned around slowly.

"I don't know," he said quietly.

Robin and Kim peered behind him. They could see a sale on bread makers but aside from that they couldn't make out what had stopped Simon mid-sentence.

"Are you alright, Si?" Robin frowned as Simon turned back to face them. He swallowed and shuddered visibly.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I just thought…" he hesitated, "I felt like someone was watching me."

"What?" frowned Kim.

"It's not the first time," Simon explained, "I… I've had a bit of a funny week," he rubbed his forehead, "I think I'm paranoid."

It was true, the week _had_ been strange. He'd first noticed something amiss one day on the way to work. Only living own the road he would sometimes walk if he didn't need to pick up lattes on the way so one chilly morning he'd started to walk towards the station when he felt eyes upon him, but as soon as he turned around no one was there. Later that same day a stone had hit his window but no one had been there when he looked outside. The next day he heard footsteps following him but they stopped abruptly before he could turn around and the previous day someone had peered through the frosted glass when he was sitting on the toilet. Those were just a few of the examples and he'd started to feel like he was being stalked.

From the looks on Kim and Robin's faces he could tell that this was a step too far after dragging them around the packed streets on Christmas Eve so he decided to drop it.

"Maybe it's Alex following me to see what she's got for Christmas," he joked but Robin and Kim and their aching legs were not in the mood for that.

"Well she'll be disappointed because you haven't bloody _got_ one for her yet!" Kim cried

"Come on, Si, all these bloody can openers are about the same!" Robin sobbed.

"I'm developing a phobia of shopping," Kim wept.

"I'm developing a phobia of _can_ openers!" Robin added.

"_Alright, alright!"_ Simon cried, "Jesus, can't a man pick a can opener in peace?"

"None of this was even on the _schedule!"_ Kim protested, "I've missed two hours of festive crappery on the TV for this."

"Alright, we'll go for lunch," Simon promised, holding up his hands, but everywhere they tried had queues out of the door. It soon became clear that lunch wasn't going to happen and after Kim and Robin staged a dramatic fainting on the ground Simon admitted defeat.

"Guys, I'm sorry," he said apologetically, "I'm not going to lie to you. I've screwed up. I'm going to spend my whole Christmas eve buying a can opener and there's not likely to be any lunch." Kim and Robin both groaned and doubled over with exhaustion and hunger.

"Oh _god,"_ Kim groaned.

"Go home and have lunch and enjoy your festive crappery," Simon told them, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"If you buy us all matching can openers I'll be using mine to remove the attractive jewellery from your backside," Kim threatened.

Simon gulped.

"Understood."

With a sigh he said goodbye to his friends and watched them disappear into the crowd. He shook his head, annoyed with himself. His lack of Christmas cheer got him into trouble every single year. Next year he was going to give in and just put up a bloody tree.

"_One more shop,"_ he mumbled to himself. He had one more place left to try to find his can opener and if he couldn't then he was going to have to pull a Gene and wrap up his own. He began to walk along but stumbled over a rough stone on the floor and a dropped his shopping bag on the ground. "_Bollocks_," he mumbled as he stopped dead still to pick it up and felt someone crash into him from behind. After swearing momentarily he spun around to make an apology but that idea quickly dropped out of his mind as he found himself face to face with the one person he had never expected to see in a million years. "_Keats?"_ he drew back and blinked as though expecting him to clear away with the speck of grit that had blown in his eye but he was still there.

It was the first time Simon or anyone had seen Keats since the day he'd cried himself to sleep in hospital and it looked like he hadn't slept in the three weeks since. There were heavy bags under his eyes, his chin was dark with stubble and instead of his usual smart attire he wore a pair of jeans, which Simon had never expected to see him wear in his life, along with a crumpled, untucked shirt beneath his jacket.

"I…" Keats swallowed. He stared at Simon, his expression shocked as though he'd never expected Simon to see him. Simon frowned.

"Were you following me?" he demanded. His mind went back to the strange instances in the past couple of weeks, "Have you been following me? The past few days, there's –" his sentence was cut short by Keats scrambling backwards with a look of horror across his face and although Simon stumbled a few steps towards him Keats wasn't in the mood to be caught and started to speed up, his haphazard jog turning into a fast-paced getaway and Simon couldn't even attempt to keep up. He gave up after a few paces his brow creased with frustration. "_Shit_," he cursed himself as he closed his eyes and leaned against a wall. Him and his big mouth. Now he'd scared Keats away like some kind of random feral creature who'd burrowed his way into the back yard.

Simon's face felt hot and his heart was beating so fast he worried he was about to have a heart attack. It made him angry that Keats had such an effect on him, he wanted to fight it or deny it but he couldn't deny his feelings were getting stronger, He was seeing more and more of the man, less of the monster, and after the moment they'd shared in the hospital he'd found himself overwhelmed by a sympathy for Keats he never knew that he could feel.

"Oh shit, not _that_," Simon cringed, moving his carrier bag between his legs. _Great_. Now he had to get home with the Eiffel tower sticking out of his pants. He hung his head and tried to walk back to his car without anyone noticing anything untoward.

X

All the way home Keats was on his mind. Even though his over-active trouser region had calmed down he couldn't stop thinking about it; the scruffy shadow of the man they knew, following him, hanging around where he knew Simon would be to catch sight of him. Why was he doing that? What did he want? Did he want to talk to him? The fact he'd run seemed to shed doubt on that but then again Simon had taken him by surprise. Keats wouldn't have been expecting that. He wasn't prepared.

"_Christmas fucking eve,"_ Simon sighed to himself as he turned a corner and pulled up outside of his flat. He sat there for a moment, just wondering what Keats even did for Christmas. It wasn't something he'd ever contemplated before. Did he sit alone with a cracker and a few turkey slices? Did he have someone to go to, someone to spend it with? Or was it just another day?

He couldn't stop pondering that question as he stepped out of the car and made his way up to his flat. He opened the door, stepped inside and threw down his keys. The thought of Keats alone at Christmas after the breakthroughs he'd made and the news that had brought him to tears seemed cold and callous. Simon knew anyone else would say that was Keats's just dessert, that he deserved solitude and misery, but that was only applicable to the monster.

"_The monster wouldn't have run from me,"_ he whispered as he paced up and down. He was fidgety and couldn't stay still. He couldn't even sit down, he paced about the lounge, his mind scrambled by the encounter until he suddenly stopped waking and stared in the direction of the kitchen he bit his lip and his eyes moved from side to side as though in a state of contemplation.

Oh _god,_ if anyone knew…

He rushed into the kitchen and opened up a cupboard where he found a couple of bottles of scotch, a 6 pack of beer that wouldn't fit in the fridge and a bottle of red wine. He'd won it in the Fenchurch East Christmas raffle the week before. He was going for the deluxe pie maker and was somewhat disappointed to take away a bottle of something he was never going to drink. He pulled it from the cupboard and studied the label, then rolled his eyes.

"Like I even know what I'm fucking reading," he mumbled, turning and walking from the kitchen, shaking his head and muttering about full, fruity flavours. He took the bottle t the lounge and looked around. "Shit, no wrapping paper," he mumbled. He glanced at the few presents under the tree that Kim and Robin had erected that morning. One of them had a silver bow so he pilfered that and tied it to the top of the bottle instead. He tapped his hand against his thigh as he looked around one more time. On the arm of the couch stood the remains of a box of Christmas cards he'd written to people he didn't really care about in departments he never even worked with. He wandered across and sat down beside it, leaving the bottle on the floor for a moment. Digging around for the best remaining card, he took the pen from the box and breathed in deeply.

Shit – what the hell was he supposed to _write?_

"_To Keats,"_ he wrote, then frowned. That was the most impersonal thing he'd ever written. What was he supposed to say instead? Jim? He'd never called him that. "Fuck it," he mumbled. Keats would have to stay. He shook his head, frustrated with himself as he tried to choose between '_Happy'_ and '_Merry'_, '_Christmas'_ and '_Xmas'_, and '_Love'_ and '_From'_ before finally signing the card and shoving it in the envelope.

Something about sealing the damn thing up made his palms sweat and his heart started to race. _Shit_, he was starting to panic now. Was he really doing this? What the _hell_ was he thinking?

Before he knew it he'd bundled himself back in the car, a sparsely-decorated bottle of wine at his feet and an envelope on the dashboard. His mouth felt dry with nerves. Was he even going to _be_ there? And if he was, would he let Simon in?

Her arrived before he knew it and grasped the wine and card with one hand while he locked the door of the car with the other. Being back at the Falcon Building sent a chill down his spine. It was the place where he's helped Susannah pass on, the place where he'd broken into with Gene and the place in 2010 where he'd discovered the full depths of Keats's obsession with him.

_"So what the fuck am I doing here now?"_ Simon muttered to himself, confusing a homeless man who was sat outside the building.

The door was open. The security didn't seem to have ever been brilliant. Simon hurried in and leapt up the stairs two at a time, then worried that he was going to get out of breath and sweaty so he calmed his pace a little. Shit, he hadn't even checked his reflection. He hadn't checked his breath either. Oh god, he hadn't thought this through very well.

But it was too late to rethink the plan because he'd already arrived. He had to take a deep breath to steel himself for the next part, then knocked firmly against the door and took a step back.

He waited.

Nothing.

Swallowing, he tried again. He knelt down and peered through the letterbox and found nothing but a pile of papers and envelopes on the floor. _Shit_, no one had been there in god knows _how_ long.

"_Shit,"_ Simon growled as he leaned against the wall, his eyes closed with frustration. After all of that, Keats wasn't even there and hasn't been for some time. He threw out a string of other expletives and a moan of discontent before he got back to his feet and stomped despondently from the building.

"_Happy Christmas,"_ he told the homeless man outside, handing him the bottle and leaving him wondering how on earth he was going to get the cork out using only his teeth.

Simon got back in the car, tucked the card into his pocket and drove; drove right away, tried to pretend the whole thing had never happened. What the fuck was he even _doing?_ Why the hell was he going to see Keats? This was still the man who'd put them all through so much. The human side was coming out in spurts but Simon had no way of knowing how much.

"_Fuck!"_ he cursed himself all the way home until he pulled up outside of his flat again, wishing the last half an hour had never even happened. How stupid was he to think Keats had even _been_ there? Where _anyone_ could find him? He stomped out of the car, slamming the door behind him and marched into the building then up the stairs, muttering to himself with every step. When he reached the door to his flat he pulled the keys out of his pocket so fast they flew from his grip and dropped to the ground, leaving him to curse and swear as he scrambled around for them and tried to jam the key in the lock. "Shit." He was so angry with himself that it took three attempts bur finally it slipped in and he turned it but the moment the door swung open he felt a hand on his shoulder and he drew in his breath with a petrified squeak As he spun around to see who'd given him the shock of his life a frantic face with dark, traumatised eyes met him. "Oh _fuck!"_ Simon gasped as he stepped back, cornered against the door frame, eyes wide.

Keats shivered and shook as he stared at Simon with urgent eyes.

"They didn't know what to do with me," he jabbered.

Simon swallowed.

"What? _Who_ didn't?"

"The hospital, "Keats cried frantically, "Everyone else in the unit had family. Friends. The other rooms were chock full of visitors on Christmas day." He stepped forward and his brow creased in distress, "It was my first Christmas awake and they shoved me in the bloody _children's_ ward because they didn't know how else to entertain me. Everyone else got their partners and their kids and their brothers and sisters, and what did I get?" he swallowed before he continued, "a poxy sausage dog made out of balloons and a bored nurse feeding me orange jelly and squirty cream."

Simon tried to breathe but somehow he just felt frozen. His heart was racing as he stared at Keats like he'd never seen him before, not even the night he'd headbutted the mirror, not even the day he cried himself to sleep in hospital. This was a Keats overwhelmed with memories that had long been supressed, either intentionally to help him to survive or by the energy that had changed him.

"_Go on,"_ he whispered. He stared at Keats, "what happened the next year?"

Keats looked back at him, panting for breath. His prompt had surprised him and Keats wasn't sure whether to continue or not but the words escaped before he had a chance to hold them in.

"Next year I was still in the hospital," he breathed, "but they'd learned their lesson the year before so they just left me in my room with the telly on. Could walk a bit but not enough to get the remote. Nurse helped me with lunch," he choked a little as the emotion threatened to suffocate him, "she ate the fucking sausage wrapped in bacon right off my plate. Shoved one of her sprouts on it instead. Thinks I didn't see. _I saw._ I was a joke, I was a _fucking joke."_ He swallowed, "the next year I was in a care home. All the other residents had their families round them. I was on my own. I had _no one_, Simon. No family. No friends. Shut myself in my room." He swallowed, "and the year after that I was back in my flat. Carer came round for five hours a day. Didn't turn up at Christmas. Called me at half past four to ask if I needed someone to come round and wash my fucking _nob_. Told her to shove it up her arse. So she never came back, and I was on my own after that." He felt his head slowly dipping as he added, "_and_ before it. I was _always_ on my fucking own."

Simon stared at him, barely able to draw in a breath. His heart was thumping. He could see from Keats's jitters that his was, too. This was the most human he had ever seen Keats. This was it; the man was emerging from the layers upon layers of twisted malevolence that had built up over the years. His dark eyes were filled with pain and hurt from all the times life and those within it had done him wrong. Taking a deep breath, Simon tried to push him further.

"When was the last time you got a Christmas present?" he whispered and Keats looked at him in shock. The question had taken him by surprise but he answered it anyway.

"Two thousand and seven, office secret Santa," he said, struggling to force out the words, "got a stapler."

Simon swallowed.

"When was the last time someone gave you a _real_ Christmas present?" he whispered.

Keats looked at him.

"_Nineteen ninety two,"_ he whispered.

Right there and then Simon's heart shattered into shards. The man in front of him was just that; _a man_. Not a monster, not an evil creature, just human. He fidgeted and squirmed while he wrung his hands as he stammered;

"I-I had a present, but you weren't there… I left it for... I mean, I gave it to…" he swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, you weren't there and I didn't know where you were, so…" he could see from Keats's face that he didn't understand so he closed his eyes and tried again, "I'm _sorry_… I went to your flat. It looked like you hadn't been there in weeks. I had a present for you. I-I didn't know where you were so I gave it to this man on the street." With a trembling hand he reached inside his coat and pulled out an envelope. "But," he looked at Keats and held the envelope toward him, "But there's…"

Keats stared at the envelope and blinked, completely bewildered, then back at Simon who pushed it a little closer. Keats's hand trembled as he slowly reached out and took it. He seemed to not know what to do with it so Simon briefly took it back and began to slice it across with his finger. He felt a sudden stinging as he caught the paper awkwardly and it cut his skin but his mind was on other matters and he tried not to think about that. Handing the envelope back to Keats, he waited slowly as the man slipped the card from within it and opened it up. The card shook as Keats's hands continued to tremble and his eyes scanned the words. He read it over a second time Simon could see his eyes return to the top. After he'd read it for a third time his stare rose and met Simon's.

"It's a card," he said awkwardly, frowning in confusion.

"Yeah," Simon wasn't sure what else to say.

Keats's pulse thumped through his ears. He swallowed and moved his eyes between Simon and the card, over and over, trying to work out what to say. His mouth hung open slightly, desperate to tell Simon any of a thousand thoughts but none of them seemed willing to come until eventually the shock and the emotion welled up so strongly that his whole body jumped into action and he moved forward quickly. Before Simon could respond he found himself pinned to the doorframe. The hard wooden panel pressed against the back of his head as Keats closed his eyes and delivered a long, overwrought, forceful kiss. Simon didn't know why he was so surprised - it wasn't the first time that Keats had resorted to letting his lips do the talking when he couldn't handle his emotions, but the action still caught him unawares and he took a moment to react. He could feel himself developing what Gene could only have described as a severe trouser tent situation but the rest of him seemed unsure what to do and he surprised himself by pushing Keats away.

"_No,"_ he said firmly, somewhat frustrated as Keats looked at him in confusion.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Stop _doing_ this!" Simon cried, "sticking your tongue down my throat and then… then flipping _out!" _he threw his hands in the air and shook his head, "stop pissing me about."

"I never meant to," Keats's whisper took Simon by surprise as much as anything and made his heart thump inside his chest. He swallowed and stumbled back slightly.

"I'm sick of you messing me around every time you decide to be human for two seconds," Simon told him, his mouth suddenly very dry.

Keats stared back feeling incredibly nervous. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks, an unfamiliar sensation.

"Maybe if I could stay fucking human for more than two seconds I'd stop," he whispered. There was a desperation in his voice that Simon had never heard before.

"Stop using me, Keats," he said with as much force as he could manage, "we both know there's only one person you've ever really wanted and I might have blonde hair and blue eyes but it's not me, is it?"

Keats found himself tugging at his own hair nervously. He started laughing but he wasn't finding anything funny.

"Believe me, Simon, right now I don't have a clue _what_ I want." He looked at Simon, his smile coming from desperation rather than from anything positive. He couldn't turn on his evil sneer, a smile was the only thing he had left. "_You_ probably know better than I do."

Simon swallowed as he stared at Keats standing right in front of him, and suddenly realised he didn't really know him at all. He knew the evil abomination who'd tortured and terrified his closest friends. He knew the Jim Keats that he'd read about in files. But this vulnerable Keats, this human, confused and disorientated Keats was a person that he had barely scratched the surface of. He felt a strange fluttering in his chest as his heart made some unusual requests of him and he swallowed again. Shit, there was no stopping the trouser tent now, it was completely unbeatable. He almost growled at himself in anger for what he was about to do but he was being ruled by every body part other than his head.

Simon leaned forward and pressed his lips to Keats's, pulling him closer with a hand around the back of his head. He groaned at the sensation of his groin struggling to break free from his pants, desperate for room as he sipped his fingers into the man's dark waves and closed his eyes, losing himself in the moment, not caring about anything or anyone else, just him and the man – the man, not monster – who had come to him in desperation when his mind was folding in on itself.

The kiss grew forceful and desperate until Keats finally pulled back a little to catch his breath. He ran his tongue around his lips as though they felt a little sore.

"Did you forget to shave or something?" he asked, still feeling breathless. Simon felt his chin, it was a little rougher than usual but then it _was_ Christmas eve and he hadn't intended to go anywhere that didn't involve the sale of kitchen products.

"I wasn't expecting… _this,"_ Simon vaguely indicated the situation with his hand, unsure how best to describe it, "the song mentions three French hens, it said nothing about French kissing."

"French – what year do you think you're _in_?" Keats asked with a slightly mocking tone, but he fell silent and reached up to touch his lip again. They still tingled from the abrasion. It wasn't a sensation he was used to. It was then and only then that it actually dawned on him that he was kissing a man. His eyes widened and he stared at Simon, feeling suddenly shocked at his actions. "You're – a man," his tone was flat and deadpan and Simon wasn't sure of he was joking or being serious.

_"Yeah…?"_ he said, frowning just slightly

"I don't _kiss_ men," Keats's voice was strained and his expression anxious. Simon felt a lump in his throat as the one in his trousers began to fade.

"It's not exactly the first time," he frowned cautiously. Keats's expression became more confused. "What… what's the matter?" Simon asked quietly and to his horror Keats began to back away. "No… no, _don't_ do this again, do _not_ do this again," Simon prepared for the monster to take over and for Keats to start freaking out but he just shook his head and swallowed.

"I meant what I said," his voice grew more urgent with every word, "I don't know _what_ I want right now, Simon, I really don't!" He stumbled backward, "I don't even know who I _am!"_

For Keats's growing humanity it had been a step too far.

For Simon as he stood alone at his doorway, staring along the empty space where Keats had stood only moments ago, the last few minutes had brought an unexpected moment that had gone from lifting him out of the dark loneliness he tried to deny engulfed him sometimes to slapping him in the face with that hasty exit.

Something made him turn his head to look above the door.

"Maybe if I'd got some sodding mistletoe he'd still be here," he muttered to himself.

He found himself shaking as he finally entered the flat. It has been a strange day indeed and now he was left with plenty of thinking to do, not to mention worrying – but he suspected it wasn't half as much as Keats would be doing that night.


	4. Four Calling Birds

_**A/N: Warning! The rating is rising to M from this chapter. **_

**~xXx~**

**Four Calling Birds**

"I'll be two minutes."

"What?" Kim's neck snapped round as Robin took off his seatbelt and opened the car door.

"I won't be long."

"Wh-where are you _going?"_ Kim cried.

"I'll be two minutes," Robin repeated evasively and Kim stared after him in horror.

"But _lunch!"_ she cried.

"_Two minutes,"_ Robin told her as he closed the car door and Kim gave a growl of frustration.

"You promised me _lunch!"_ she wailed to no one in particular, "I'm going to keel over soon!" she heard a strange sound and it took her a moment to realise it was her mobile phone. "Oh goddamn ringtone," she mumbled as she pulled it out of her pocket, "when do they create polyphonic ones, anyway?" she pressed a button and held the slightly clunky phone to her ear. "Hello?"

There was a slight pause and then a voice asked,

"_Is that DCI Stringer's number?"_

Kim paused and gave a frown.

"If not then it's a pretty big coincidence that I answered it," she said, "who's that?"

"_It's DC Fell from CID."_

Kim frowned and scratched her head. She didn't know Marci very well; they'd collaborated on one or two cases and she'd been to the club a couple of times but that was about all.

"Marci," Kim began in confusion, "is something wrong? I'm not at work today –"

"_No, I know,"_ Marci said quickly, _"which is why I called you. It's about your boyfriend."_

Kim's frown increased.

"Rob- _Chief Inspector Thomas_ isn't at work either," she said.

"_I know that too,"_ said Marci, "_look, what's the deal with him and Jake?"_

Kim blinked, rather taken aback. She knew Marci could be somewhat straightforward but this seemed so be so blunt that she wasn't sure what to say.

"I don't know exactly, seeing as I'm neither Robin nor Jake," she said.

"_Is he pissing Jake about?"_

"What the hell are you saying?" cried Kim, scrambling upright and yelling down the phone, "why have you called up someone you hardly know, on Christmas _eve_ of all days, to insult their other half?"

"_I didn't mean it like that,"_ Marci said in slightly hushed tones, "Look, I just had to ask fast. He'll be out the toilet in a minute."

"_Wha-_ did I need to know that?" Kim cried.

"_I just need to know, does he like Jake, yes or no?"_

"Well," Kim still felt annoyed by Marci's blunt question but figured it was no more than she would ask herself, "yes. Yeah, he does. He's fed up of Jake scraping his feet on the ground and never getting any further."

"_Yeah well, Jake does that,"_ Marci sighed_, "he needs a prod."_

"Robin's not the one to do it, believe me," Kim told her.

"_Yeah, it sounds like they're as bad as each other,"_ she heard Marci sigh on the line. _"I'm sorry. I probably came off as rude. It's just... Jake's my best friend. I care about him more than anyone and I want him to be happy."_

"Yeah," Kim said slowly, "but what exactly has that got to do with me?"

"_Jake's been alone long enough,"_ Marci told her, "_he needs someone. I've never seen him like this for anyone else. Not even the girl who kept giving him free cream buns."_

"Oh?" Kim frowned, wondering whether she too could charm someone into giving her free cream buns, "Well… Look, Marci… I don't know the full story of what happened between them before I arrived…" she flinched. It was so hard to remember not to say such things, "arrived at Fenchurch East From my last station." She sighed, "I know Robin was very upset by the way Jake started treating him."

"_They were supposed to go for a drink or something but they never got off their backsides about it,"_ Marci commented.

"Yeah well, Robin's not the best with certain social situations," Kim admitted.

"_Believe me compared to Jake he's Peter Stringfellow,"_ Marci sighed. She took a moment before she asked, "_tell me to keep my nose out but what's this thing between you? Because you're going out with him, right?"_

"Engaged, actually," said Kim. She looked at her ring and turned it with her thumb. It still felt a little peculiar, like the engagement had never really happened. Because of the way life had torn them from one another so soon it was almost as though those six weeks had never happened. That still saddened her. Marci didn't need to know about that though. She took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can explain this, Marci. Rob and I… we're in a weird situation. We're both gay but we fell for each other anyway. Neither of us understand that."

"_What about Jake?"_

Kim closed her eyes. She hesitated.

"Don't judge," she said quietly, "but yeah… we love each other. But there are certain things that aren't natural to us. There are things we miss."

"_Are you saying Jake would just be a… a fuck-buddy_?" Marci asked.

"_No!"_ cried Kim, "for god's sake, did you not hear what I just said about Rob? He can't even arrange a bloody _drink_ with someone he fancies, how many decades would it take for him to get Jake to bed?"

Marci sighed.

"_Yeah… I get your point,"_ she said.

"It's not just physical," Kim tried to explain. "it's… it's an _emotional_ thing. A mental thing. There's something else we need. Doesn't mean that we don't love each other. If anything it just shows how strong we are."

"_So they'd be boyfriends?"_ Marci asked.

"What _is_ all this interest anyway?" Kim frowned "I don't understand what's going on!"

"_Look,"_ Marci's voice dropped a little, _"I just heard the toilet flushing."_

Kim swallowed.

"Good for you," she said.

"_I mean Jake will be back in a minute!"_ she hissed, _"do you want them to get together or what?"_

"Well _yes_," cried Kim, "I've been nagging Rob for weeks, but he's stubborn and shy!"

"_So's Jake, times two, so here's what we're going to do."  
_

"Hang on, hang on, are you giving me orders?"

"_We're not at work now, remember?"_

Kim sighed and shook her head a little.

"What do you want me to do?" she groaned.

"_I need to you to get him to go to work,"_ Marci told her.

"Pffffft, yeah, he's going to do that, isn't he?" Kim cried, "he'll think I'm pulling an early April fool! No way will he go in."

Marci sighed.

"_You've got a point. Jake will do the same with me."_ She paused. "You _could call Jake."_

"I think it might be better coming from someone else," Kim told her, "I'll call Alex- _DCI Drake,"_ she felt herself starting to get a little flushed in the cheeks, "see if she can tell Jake to go in. It'll sound more convincing coming from her."

"_What if I called Shaz and asked her to call Chief Inspector Thomas?"_ Marci suggested, "_she's at work, it'll be more convincing coming from the canine unit."_

"OK," Kim agreed, then she hesitated, "exactly what are you planning to do with them once they get there? Shove them in a room and force-feed them oysters?"

"_I'm hoping they'll figure out the next part for themselves,"_ Marci told her and Kim sighed.

"Somehow I doubt that," she said, but it was at least worth a try.

~xXx~

"I'm so sorry," Robin's return to the car was somewhat later than anticipated, "I got a –" he froze for a moment and seemed to scramble frantically about his person, patting his pockets until a look of relief came over his face. "Oh thank _god."_

"What?"

Robin hesitated.

"Thought I left something behind," he said, "My phone. Yes, actually, that's what I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Kim, you're not going to believe this. I got a call while I was on the shop. They need me to go to work."

It took all of Kim's willpower to make her reaction convincing. She wanted to turn on the sarcasm as she said,

"_Oh god, really?!"_ but she managed to play it straight.

"Yeah," Robin said in frustration as he pulled his seatbelt across and clipped it into place, "Shaz called. Emergency at work. Something to do with one of the dogs on a CID case. I've got to go in right now."

"Oh no," said Kim.

"I thought you'd be a bit more annoyed than that," frowned Robin.

"I _am,"_ Kim bit her lip, "I just… it'll give me time to wrap your presents, that's all."

"I should only be half an hour," said Robin.

"Oh dear," said Kim, wondering whether that figure was a comment on Jake's prowess passed on from Marci.

"Wait until get back and we'll have lunch then."

Kim froze.

"_What?"_ she demanded.

"We'll have lunch when I get home," said Robin.

"Why can't I eat while you're out?" Kim groaned.

"Because I was going to make you a special Christmas eve lunch while you watch festive crappery!" Robin told her.

Kim hesitated.

"Well when you put it like _that_," she said. She paused. "Alright. Half an hour. But there'd better be a sprig of fake holly sticking out of it and everything."

Robin smiled.

"_Deal."_

~xXx~

"This way," Marci trotted along, her heels tapping along the corridor.

"I know which way CID is, thank you," Jake frowned.

"We're not going to CID," Marci told him, "we've got to come in here," she opened the door to Kim's suite of rooms and Jake stepped in, looking a bit confused.

"DCI Stringer wasn't on that case," he said.

"Which case are we even here for?" another voice at the door made Jake jump a little.

"Sir?" he frowned as Shaz gave Robin and unexpected push through the door leading him to stumble with an '_oof'._

"It's the case of the procrastinating lovers," said Marci. She raised an eyebrow at Jake. "Happy Christmas," she whispered before she and Shaz left the room, giggling, and closed the door behind them.

Jake looked at Robin who seemed completely bewildered, then to the door where Marci was making kissy faces through the glass before she ran into CID, giggling. He turned awkwardly to Robin who gave him a nervous smile.

"Do you get the feeling we've been set up?" he asked and Jake shuffled uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't know anything about this," he said, "I'm going to _kill_ Marci when I get my hands on her."

"I think they meant well," Robin told him but Jake felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry you were dragged into this," he said, "you'd better get home. Merry Christmas, sir."

"Whoa, hold on," Robin frowned, "now we're here you don't think we should at least talk about things?"

"About what?" Jake scratched at his head to distract him from the awkwardness of the situation.

"Well for a start when are we going to have that dinner and drink we were supposed to be going on?" said Robin. He hesitated and Jake looked down. "So you've changed your mind?" his voice grew dark and sad, _"Again."_

"I just don't know if it's a very god idea, Sir," he said quietly.

"You did a month and a half ago!" cried Robin, "and _please_ stop calling me Sir?"

Jake looked at him, his whole expression told Robin he didn't want to be there.

"You're back with your girlfriend and happy, he said, "so –"

To Robin's horror Jake started to walk towards the door.

"Hey, just wait a minute," he stepped in front of it momentarily, "you're not doing this again."

"Doing what?"

"_Walking away!_ Ignoring stuff. This can't be about Kim because I explained the situation a long time ago and although you might not have totally understood you didn't have a problem with it." He hesitated as Jake looked surprisingly guilty, "so if it's not about Kim… what _is_ it about?" he swallowed, trying to work out where to go from there, "it's like it's fine until we actually come close to doing anything and then you run away. If you don't like me just bloody _tell_ me!"

"You _know_ that's not it," Jake mumbled.

"Then _what?"_ Robin cried, "we had those _moments_, and then things were strained… but then after my birthday… you know, we went out a couple of times and even though it was just dinner I thought we were getting on…"

"And then you told all of your friends and colleagues how much you had enjoyed screwing your girlfriend on a desk," Jake said coolly.

"What?"

"Don't pretend it didn't happen, Sir, I heard everything."

"What are you even talking about?"

"At the _hospital!"_ cried Jake, "it was the day Diana died! You'd been assaulted. I heard everything."

Robin froze, his eyes wide. He stared at Jake, watching him almost huff with suppressed anger as he whispered.

"I don't remember saying –"

"You were pretty out of it," Jake closed his eyes and swallowed as Robin's face fell. He stared at Jake with sadness and sympathy.

"Jake," he said softly, "I'm so sorry that… that can't have been nice to hear…"

"No, it wasn't."

"I didn't know… I didn't know you were there and I didn't know what I was saying…" Robin paused, swallowing hard, "But you still knew the situation, and –"

Jake shook his head.

"It's never going to happen. There's nothing really there, is there? We maybe had something going on that night," he said awkwardly, "the election… but the moment passed. Let's leave it at that."

"What do you mean the moment passed?" Robin cried, feeling his heart sinking so fast that he could have sworn it literally moved down his body.

"Things were different that night," Jake shrugged, still refusing to look at Robin, "there was the result, everyone was on a high, there'd been booze –"

"That wasn't why it happened," Robin frowned, his voice fading as Jake continued to talk himself out of anything happening.

"Yes it was," Jake told him, "you'd had too much to drink. You always _do_ before you try… coming onto me," Jake shuffled uncomfortably, "If you need to have a skinful before you want anything to do with me then I can't mean anything to you, can I, Sir?"

"Will you stop bloody calling me _sir?"_ Robin cried, "just for a moment? We're not on a case! Not unless we're investigating the case of the –" he swallowed as he accidentally focused on Jake's groin, _"-inexplicably large erection."_

Jake's entire face filled with panic.

"Oh my _god_," he cried, slapping his hands to his mouth then grasping the nearest object to cover himself up with. For his own part Robin was as shocked by how own words as Jake had been,

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"_ he cried, "I just... I wasn't expecting to see…" he swallowed as he saw the mortification on Jake's face as he left the room in a hurry. "Jake, I'm so sorry! _Jake!"_ he felt his guts churn with regret, "Jake!" he flinched and slapped himself in the head, "oh, my big fucking _mouth!"_ he cried.

"Maybe you could join your big mouth with his inexplicably large erection and get the biggest blowjob ever?" a voice at the doorway suggested, making Robin jump out of his skin. He turned around in horror to see who'd overheard.

"Oh _fuck,"_ he whispered.

"I've had enough of you two tiptoeing round each other."

Robin cringed and stepped back.

"Marci –"

"You're driving me _crazy_," she said scornfully, "why do you think I set this up? Jake's not been himself for months, so much for being my best friend, he won't go to the club any more in case you're there." Robin looked down. He had noticed that Jake hadn't been there very much recently but it had coincided with a big case in CID so he'd assumed it as simply down to that. "Just sort yourselves out," Marci told him bluntly, "you've given him a bloody hard on, go and do something with it."

Robin felt like someone had just pushed him to the top of the cliff of shame and then set up the diving board.

"I don't think this is any way to talk to a superior officer," he tried to sound stern and disapproving but his burning cheeks took the edge off of his lecture.

"I don't have a fur legged arsehole on a lead," Marci reminded him, "so technically speaking you're not my superior officer."

Robin tried to look angry but he was still feeling too upset by Jake's reaction to care as much as he should have done.

"It's out of my hands anyway, "he told her, "he's put an end to whatever we might have had."

"So?" shrugged Marci, "You're his _superior office_. Go and pull rank."

"_He_ doesn't have a four legged arsehole on a lead either," Robin pulled a face.

Marci actually gave him a half-smile.

"Please, sir," she said, "go and talk to him. You need to sort this out."

Robin took a deep breath and nodded slowly. She was right, as much as he hated to admit it.

"Alright," he said, "I'll talk to him."

"Good," said Marci as she watched him turn and walk away, "…and then give him one."

In response Robin raised his middle finger over his shoulder. Marci had a cheek and a half. But if he followed her advice Marci was hoping it would be _Jake's_ cheeks he'd be grasping by the end of the night.

~xXx~

"Jake," Robin stood just inside the deserted office, watching as the man in question bustled around looking stressed and ashamed. "Jake," he tried again "I'm sorry."

Jake glanced at him momentarily, then went back to shuffling papers with false enthusiasm rather like someone deliberately making a lot of noise to cover up a sneaky fart.

"I'm busy, sir," he said, "this case needs to be wrapped up. The bail hearing is just after Christmas.

"Five minutes."

"I don't have five minutes to spare."

"You seemed to have them when you were enjoying your christmas eve off," Robin pointed out and noticed Jake's paper shuffling slowed down a little. He took a few steps in. "_Jake_… I'm so sorry, Robin began, "I didn't mean to say something that blunt. I never used to be so forward." She shook his head, "I think being with Kim rubbed off on me a bit." He found himself biting how lip as his eyes dropped to Jake's groin and discovered he still had the same issue going on. It caused Robin to smirk a little and the second Jake noticed his cheeks turned the colour of beetroot.

"Oh _fuck_, no, that's it," he cried, turning around and holding up a pile of paperwork in front of himself, "I think you need to leave now, Sir."

"Jake…"

"_Just go._ Enough humiliation."

"I'm not trying to humiliate you," Robin said quietly, "Shit, that's not what I wanted at _all._ I told you I never meant to say that, I just…" he swallowed. His own nerves were coming through again. While he was less awkward than he used to be he still became shy and anxious when it came to the subject of sex or relationships. Hell, if he'd never been with Kim he would probably be just as nervous as Jake and they never would get anywhere. But being with Kim had given him a little courage and confidence which he'd never had before. That, and a slightly perverse sense of humour. But he still felt terrible about humiliating Jake and one of them had to make the first move; the first proper move at least. If it wasn't going to be Robin then it was never going to be either of them.

Slowly he walked forward until he was standing right behind him. Jake knew he was there but didn't dare turn around.

"I think it might be time for you to go back to your own department, Sir," he said quietly.

"Stop calling me sir now," Robin said softly, "and I don't think this is an appropriate time for me to be returning to my own department when I've got this on display to all and sundry on the corridor."

He took in a deep breath as Jake glanced around curiously and grasped the DS's hand.

"What –" Jake began but found his fingers pulled toward Robin's crotch. As his eyes opened wide on shock Robin spoke up nervously.

"You're not the only one with that problem," he said quietly.

Jake couldn't quite believe what was happening. He panicked instantly, his eyes bolting as he turned to face Robin head-on. The sensation of his heart thumping in shock and the sound of his own pulse ringing in his ears made him realise exactly how nervous he was. In the past he'd have ducked out on any potential love interest well before that point. Finding his hand thrust against Robin's rock-hard cock made him want to run away forever but the look on Robin's face made him want to stay right where he was.

"That could be seen as sexual harassment, sir," he said with a wobble in his voice and Robin looked scared that he was serious. "I mean… no, I _wouldn't_…" he flinched. He was no good as this. "Shit. Sorry, sir." He flinched again, "sorry… not sir…." He cleared his throat then swelled as his line of vision fell down to the area his fingers still lay upon. There was a strange feeling inside of him, like butterflies that wouldn't stop flapping around, right from his stomach up to his chest. They stopped him from breathing properly. They made him draw in his breath in a gasp. He stared Robin in the eye. "Sir, I'm scared."

Robin could feel Jake trembling. He slowly let go of his hand, not wanting to cause the man to be more anxious than he already was, but as he let him go Jake's hand remained where it was.

"Jake," he whispered, "I don't want you to be scared."

"I can't help it," Jake's voice wavered as he remembered to add_, "Robin."_

"I know," Robin whispered, "and if this is too much or it's not what you want then we won't do anything."

He looked expectantly at Jake, waiting for him to react and expecting him completely to walk away. That was it, he'd overstepped the mark. He'd ruined things forever now. Why wasn't he walking away? Why wasn't he moving his hand? To Robin's absolute shock he felt Jake give him the gentlest squeeze which made his eyes widen and he almost let out a squeak. He felt himself starting to get hot in the face and he swallowed. Where was that courage now?

"Can..." Jake seemed frozen to the spot, "...can you shut the door, please?" he whispered. As though that request had woken him from a bit of a spell Robin nodded his head a little and then moved away, albeit reluctantly.

"Sure," he said. Covering his bulging crotch with the bottom of his jacket Robin walked quickly to the door and closed it, cursing himself for forgetting that it was still open. As an extra measure he jogged to the windows and pulled down the blinds just to give them more privacy. As he turned around he began to feel anxious again, even more so when he saw the look on Jake's face. "Really, Jake," he whispered, "I don't want to do anything if you're not comfortable with it."

Jake walked slowly towards him and Robin could see him trembling. How could he be so scared if it was something he really wanted? But then he remembered what he was like on his first night with Kim. _Or,_ for that matter, his first night with Simon. He'd have been shaking like a leaf again right there and then if Kim's influence hadn't increased his confidence and courage.

Jake found himself facing Robin. There could only have been a couple of inches between them. He knew he was still shaking but he wanted this, he wanted it so much that he was willing to fight the fear.

"Alright," he whispered, "I suppose I should tell you. I like you, sir." He cleared his throat and looked down, sucking anxiously on the inside of his cheek. "But I think you noticed that already."

"You reckon?" Robin asked with an anxious laugh and Jake looked back at him. This time they both managed to offer up a nervous smile. Robin felt himself starting to blush profusely. OK, so Jake's eyes were the kind of blue that made his insides melt on the spot. He'd never really noticed them before. He couldn't stop noticing them now. _Fuck_, things were getting uncomfortable down there. He reached forward slowly and curled his fingers around Jake's. The gesture caught the younger man by surprise and he looked at Robin curiously.

"So it was obvious then?" he asked quietly, sill trembling but feeling calmer as Robin lifted his hand up slightly and pulled Jake closer.

"I wouldn't say obvious," he said, biting his lip and glancing down, "well, not until today, anyway." He exhaled slowly and tried to pull himself together. He looked Jake in the eye and a serious expression came over him. "Please, Jake. Let's just be honest with each other, OK? No more messing, I don't want to get hurt. And I don't want _you_ to get hurt either." He noticed a moment of panic crossing Jake's face as he feared that Robin was going to put a stop to anything progressing between them, right there and then but instead he reached out and stroked Jake's face with the lightest touch. "So," he whispered, "is this happening?"

Jake's Adam's apple rose and fell significantly as he stared into Robin's eyes. Shit, why were his eyes so dark and deep and utterly inviting? They were like deep velvet and Jake couldn't look away. He opened his mouth but couldn't manage to get out a reply so instead he simply nodded. A wave of genuine happiness passed across Robin's expression. It was the first time that Jake had seen that. The bright sparkle that appeared in his eyes was beautiful.

Robin reached out with his other hand to touch Jake on the other cheek, finally cupping his face and tilting it forward. He could feel Jake shaking a little.

"_It's OK,"_ he whispered as he began to close his eyes.

Jake's heart beat hard and fast in his chest as he tried to stay upright which his knees weakened beneath him. He shut his eyes and waited anxiously for Robin's lips to touch his own. When the kiss came it began so softly, almost as though neither wanted to hurt the other, but as Robin heard the slight gasp that Jake let out he couldn't resist stepping it up a notch and pulling Jake a little closer. The kiss deepened, one set of lips pressing harder against the other, tongues entwined.

Jake forgot to breathe, He even forgot how. He started to feel a little lightheaded as Robin held his face and stole the breath from his body. He groaned softly as he felt his cock trying to stiffen more but his trousers weren't intending to let it.

Robin's fingers slowly trailed down from Jake's face, seeping softly across his jaw and down the sides of his neck where they settled on his shoulders to pull Jake's body towards him. He'd waited such a long time for that moment. Ever since he'd started to feel the attraction there between them he'd been looking at Jake's lips, staring at them when he thought he could get away with it. His hands wandered downward and settled on Jake's top button, running his finger top around it before he slowly unfastened it but as he moved down to the next one he felt Jake's lips departing and the man of his desires stepping backward.

"Sir, I'm sorry," he said quickly, flinching before he tried to correct himself, "_Robin_… I'm sorry."

Robin felt shocked and anxious.

"Did I go too fast?" he asked worriedly but Jake shook his head.

"No, sir, it's not what you were doing it's…" he swallowed, "it's about me. Something you should know." Jake felt his face turn crimson as he turned his eyes away. He wasn't very good at talking about himself at the best of times, let alone something so delicate and personal. His breath was staggered as he tried to cool his anxiety and he closed his eyes for a moment. "_I'm scared,"_ he began quietly, "Not because of you," he added quickly, sensing Robin about to apologise for something he hadn't even done, "or anything that you've done. It's me." He dared to look him in the eye. "It's the first time I…" he cringed, hating himself about as much as he ever had, "I've never…"

Robin's brow creased slightly.

"What?"

Jake swallowed, his heart racing.

"I've never done this before," he whispered in shame.

Robin bit his lip.

"With another man?" he asked before he saw Jake looking down sadly, "with _anyone?"_

"Just kind of passed me by," Jake said quietly, "I always thought it would happen when the time was right… but it never really did," he looked awkwardly at Robin, "and it became a bigger and bigger deal the longer I waited. I'd waited that long, I didn't just want to… you know," he cursed his embarrassment, "_do it…_ with someone if it didn't mean anything."

Robin found himself biting on the side of his lip as he tried to stop his mouth twitching into a smile

"So that means," he asked, "that I mean something to you?"

Jake couldn't quite look Robin in the eye as he said nervously,

"The evidence would point that way, sir, yes."

Robin felt himself relax a little as a gentle laugh burst out.

"You have _got_ to stop calling me _Sir_," he said which caused a smile of embarrassment from Jake.

"What if I can't?" he asked, deliberately adding, "_Sir?"_ on the end which prompted another gentle laugh from Robin. Christ, that man's smile. It turned Jake to jelly on the inside. He took in a deep breath to calm himself a little and then looked at him more seriously. "I know it makes me some kind of social freak," he said quietly and watched Robin's face falling, "we should probably stop right now."

Robin felt his heart sinking.

"If you don't feel ready," he said quietly, his voice oozing with disappointment.

"I didn't say that."

Robin frowned.

"Then," he began in confusion, "Why should we stop?"

Jake found himself mirroring Robin's anxious bite of the lip. He shuffled a little, his eyes flickering to and away from Robin.

"Thought you wouldn't want to any more," he whispered.

"I want to know if _you_ want to," Robin's voice was low and breathy as he stared into Jake's eyes. Swallowing nervously Jake gazed back, feeling himself swept up in Robin's stare. He froze for a moment, unable to speak, then very slowly he nodded his head.

"More than anything," he whispered.

"Are you really ready?" Robin whispered, shocked to find that he'd started to shake, "are you really sure?"

Jake nodded again.

"Yes."

Robin swallowed.

"Then prove it," he breathed.

Jake couldn't deny that he was scared. Terrified, in fact. He couldn't help that. He knew it was natural, but that didn't really help him. He knew that anyone and everyone who'd ever been in that position must have felt nervous at the very least, but here he was, faced with the man he'd been watching and thinking about for the past ten months, and now that the moment he'd dreamed of was here he wasn't sure what to do.

"Take your time."

Robin's tone was soft and reassuring, almost nervous in its own right. For that, Jake was grateful. It set him just a little at ease. He looked into Robin's dark eyes and felt his heart doing strange things in his chest that didn't feel quite like beating. His lips were so dry suddenly. They became such a focus as he tried to ignore his nerves. He pursed his lips and moistened them with his tongue before he realised how the gesture must have looked to Robin. _God, that must have looked…_ He closed his eyes and tried to stop second guessing himself. He had to.

He needed to start slowly. He hoped that Robin wouldn't mind; he just wanted to ease his way into this. He wanted this so much but didn't want to scare himself away.

_One step at a time. _

He could see his own hands shaking as he reached forward and gently pressed his fingers against Robin's top button to pop it from its buttonhole. He didn't dare look at Robin's expression, he knew that would only make him feel more nervous. Instead he moved down to the next button, then the next, unfastening one at a time. As he was about to undo the fifth button Robin suddenly placed his hand over Jake's and froze.

_"Jake, wait,"_ he whispered. Jake looked at him in alarm. Had he done something wrong? Robin looked frightened, "it's just… I should warn you… I've got scars…"

"I've seen them before," Jake said quietly. Robin looked a little blankly at him. "Election night. When you had that fight." Robin closed his eyes as the memory came back to him. "It doesn't matter," Jake shook his head, "could barely see them anyway under your..." he hesitated as he undid another button, "your tattoos," he said quietly. He shook his head slightly as he pulled the button of Robin's shirt from his trousers and worked the last few buttons from the bottom up. "They're amazing," he whispered.

He laid his fingers against Robin's skin and ran his hand along the intricate designs that Kim had placed across his body. He could feel the definition of muscles across Robin's torso and his face began to flush as blood surged to his cheeks. He slipped his hands inside the unfastened shirt and slipped it down from Robin's shoulders where it landed on the floor. Quite suddenly Robin's fingers were grappling for Jake's shirt and pulling the buttons open at speed. He was halfway down when he felt Jake stop him to pull his face closer, and suddenly they were diving deeply into another kiss, harder and hotter than before. Robin let out a groan, he couldn't help it. His whole body felt hot, his skin was practically burning as Jake's hands roamed up and down, feeling every muscle on his body.

"_Oh god,_ Jake," he moaned lowly as he felt Jake's teeth gently clasp his bottom lip. That made him groan again and grasp Jake's face in his hands, pulling him even closer, their kiss growing wild and furious as Robin's hands wandered into Jake's hair and gripped it firmly.

_"God,"_ Jake had never felt that before. He'd never felt any of the sensations that Robin was subjecting him to. He'd never wanted anything or anyone so badly. He was still scared but the adrenaline was overcoming his nerves and now all he wanted was release. He reached down and grabbed Robin's belt, tugging him closer sharply by it which caused Robin to give a gasp as his swollen cock ached to be released from the confines of his clothing.

He could feel Jake's hands starting to work on his belt.

"God, _please_, Jake," he gasped, "I want you," he'd spent months tiptoeing around the subject but he couldn't hold it back any longer, "I _need_ you."

He felt so absorbed in the moment that he didn't really stop to wonder what was happening when Jake's hands seemed to disappear from his belt for a moment as they found something else that Robin kept in his trousers but a second later he felt something cold and solid around his wrist as his hand was pulled sharply downwards. "Jake, what -?" he cried as he looked down to find himself cuffed to the chair.

Jake looked a little nervous, unsure if he had gone a step too far, but the heat of the moment was sweeping him away.

"Just an insurance policy this time, sir," he whispered as he pushed Robin down slowly into the chair.

"A what?" Robin panted anxiously.

"To make sure you're not going to run off on an emergency this time," Jake told him, remembering the random dog on election night, "you're not getting me this far and then leaving me with a big –" he swallowed as he felt himself blushing with embarrassment, "_problem_."

Robin didn't know what shocked him most; the fact that Jake had used the handcuffs or the fact that he was being so forward. He could barely speak as the thumping of his heart rendered him almost senseless.

"And what..." he swallowed, "..._problem_… would that be?" he whispered.

Jake stood before him, his body trembling from head to toe. He was scared but determined; he wanted this more than he'd ever wanted anything and he wanted Robin more than he had ever wanted anyone. It was time to prove it. It was time to show him.

He stepped back and frantically unfastened the buckle on his belt, then unbuttoned his fly. His hand shook as he pulled down his zip and, taking a deep breath for courage, he pushed his trousers and his boxers down to the floor. He could barely look at Robin as he realised exactly what he'd done. Instead he closed his eyes and braced himself.

_"This_ problem," he murmured as he could practically feel Robin's gaze upon him.

He'd never heard Robin as flustered as he became when he managed to stammer,

"T-that's quite a problem, Jake."

Jake bit nervously against the inside of his cheek as he opened his eyes again and saw the look on Robin's face. No one had ever looked at him like that before. No one had ever made him feel that way. He knew that this was it, and however scared he felt it was nothing compared to the need he had to get closer to Robin.

"So help me out," he whispered.

Robin could barely catch his breath as he stared at Jake's blue eyes. They seemed to almost twinkle as they widened in anticipation.

"With pleasure, Jake," he whispered, "with utter, absolute pleasure."


	5. Five Gold Rings

**Five Gold Rings**

Kim stared at the jewellery, still in its sterile packaging, and then back at Simon.

"Are you really sure about this?" she asked doubtfully.

Simon swallowed.

"Does it hurt?" he squeaked.

"If you're asking me that kind of question then I don't think you're ready to have this done," she warned him.

"No, I am. I want this."

"You shouldn't get these things done on a whim," Kim warned him, "you should think them through first."

"Oh yeah, right," Simon scoffed, "what about tattooing Alex? Or Robin's stupid eyebrow thing."

"Right, that's it," Kim took off her gloves and threw them to the floor, "I'm not doing it."

"You _promised!"_

"I never wanted to do this in the _first_ place!" Kim cried, "if you still call Rob's eyebrow piercing his 'stupid eyebrow thing' then how are you going to feel when he starts insulting your…" she took a step back and gulped_, "stupid nipple things?"_

X

It had been the worst phone call Kim had ever received in her life.

In fact, she'd received several calls in quick succession. No sooner had she got into the flat and put the TV on for a day of festive crappery than her phone had rung.

"_Kim? It's me,"_ Robin sounded exhausted and breathless.

"Rob? Are you OK?" she'd asked.

"_Yeah… yeah, I'm fine,"_ he told her, "_except I'm going to be… longer than I thought."_

Kim raised her eyebrows and gave a smirk.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, "things going well, are they?"

"_Erm,"_ Robin began as Kim heard Jake in the background complaining about his pants being caught on the light fitting.

"I'll take that as a yes," she said, "Take your time."

She recalled Robin telling her not to eat until he got home to make a special Christmas Eve lunch. Well, uf he didn't get home soon it was going to be a bloody Christmas eve supper. One little snack wouldn't hurt. But as she hungrily opened the fridge to find something for lunch the phone had gone again. This time it was Alex asking whether things had gone to plan.

"Ma'am, from what I just heard it worked like a treat," Kim told her, "you, ugh… might want to check for rogue underwear around the office after Christmas though."

Kim expected Alex to say goodbye but instead she seemed to clear her throat awkwardly before she asked,

"_Kim? I don't suppose you're going tonight, are you? To the work party?"_

Kim immediately felt heat rising to her cheeks.

"I… I might be," she said.

"_Hmm. I might too,"_ Alex sounded strangely awkward.

"What about Gene?" Kim asked cautiously.

"_Kim, last time Gene had to venture into a gay club he got clobbered by three angry drag queens within the first thirty seconds, I don't think he'd go if you paid him," Alex_ told him, _"besides, I heard him muttering about wrapping up wooden spoons while I'm out."_

"So you are going then?" Kim asked.

There was a pause.

"_Yes."_

"Me too," Kim tried not to grin.

"_Good,"_ she could almost hear Alex's smile, _"then I'll see you tonight."_

Kim looked down and this time a grin burst through.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she said.

Almost as soon as she'd hung up it rang again. She hadn't even finished scanning the fridge contents for leftovers. With a groan of frustration she closed the door again and answered it to find Gene on the line, not just once but twice; the first time calling to ask whether her intentions towards Alex were 'pure' like a father trying to stop amorous teenage boys from congregating beneath her window, and the second to ask whether Kim was well-furnished with wooden spoons.

"Guv, I share my home and my life with Robin Thomas. I am in possession of more wooden spoons than the kitchen aisle at Sainsburys."

There was a long pause.

"_Bugger."_

After Gene had cut the call she tried one more time to find something for lunch but the phone had gone again.

"What's this?" she cried as it rang, "the five fucking gold _rings?!"_ crossly she answered it as she could practically hear the fridge calling her name. _"What?"_

There was a pause.

"_Kim?"_

Kim groaned.

"Simon, I'm warning you, if you mention a can opener –"

"_No, No, I'm not calling about that," _he said,_ "I just… I was wondering about something."_

"Yeah, me too, I was wondering if I am ever going to get my bloody _lunch!"_ Kim cried. It might as well be dinner by now.

"_You have your tattoo and piercing kit with you at home, right?"_ he asked.

Kim frowned.

"Yeah," she said.

"_That studio you work at –"_

"I only do one day a month."

"_Is it open today?"_

"I don't know, I'm not due in."

"Right," Simon cleared his throat, "but you can, uh... do these _needle_ things… _anywhere?"_

Kim scowled.

"I'm not piercing your _other_ arse cheek!" she cried, "I'm just glad I was so inebriated that I don't remember what your bum looks like!"

"_I don't want that pierced!"_

"Then what _do_ you want?"

She heard Simon gulping on the line. But soon her own fear would override his.

X

"What the hell even made you call me?" Kim challenged him as he pulled his jumper around himself protectively.

"I need… _something_," he said. His brow was creased and he seemed anxious.

"Simon, you've been on at Robin for his piercing and tattoos from the moment he arrived," Kim pointed out, he told me the things you said to him, and you still pick on it now!"

"I know," Simon said quietly, "I know. Maybe… maybe I was jealous."

"Of… what? Me?" Kim frowned.

"Of Rob. For having the guts to do those things."

"You mean getting his tattoos?"

"And that stupid eye- and his eyebrow piercing," Simon caught himself, "I feel awkward about saying this but," he closed his eyes, "I really admire him for it. Having the strength to do something like that. Because he never would have before." He paused, "not until he met you." He looked down and took a deep breath, a slight feeling of heaviness settling across his chest. Things might have been different now between the three of them and he might not have held any bad feeling towards Robin and Kim for their relationship but he was starting to realise just how much better Kim and Robin were for each other than he and Robin had ever been. It had never been intentional but he'd held Robin back. He could see that now.

"Simon," Kim sat down beside him, "that doesn't mean you need to try to copy him or do anything to prove yourself. So he found body mods were his thing," she shrugged, "that doesn't mean it has to be yours too. "

Simon looked down and nodded slowly.

"Yeah," he whispered, "I know, I know, I just…" he took a deep breath. The events of the day wee swirling in his mind. "I've had a bit of a weird day, I guess."

"Weirder than the can opener?" Kim asked and Simon nodded.

"The can opener was just the tip of the iceberg," he sighed.

"Must be bad since you've put the jumper on," Kim commented.

Simon fell silent. He stared at his hands for a moment before he finally asked,

"Kim? When you and Rob first got together…"

Kim waited.

"What?" she asked nervously.

"How weird was it?" Simon asked quietly, "I mean, because neither of you… you know…" he shrugged nervously, "you weren't 'compatible'."

Kim put her head I her hands and sighed.

"_Ohhhh_ you have no idea," she said, "imagine reprogramming everything in your genetics. Everything you've ever known. Having to stop yourself from acting on your natural instincts."

"Did you ever," he bit his lip, _"run away?"_

Kim flinched.

"Yeah, once or twice," she said guiltily."

"I mean physically flee?"

"Yes," Kim nodded, ashamed, "we both did. But it's just so hard to try to deal with such a huge change, Si. Something that's always been against what you wanted, what you desired. Then suddenly something happens that flips everything you know on its head. Fight or flight… unfortunately for us 'flight' won a few times."

"But you got over it in the end?" Simon asked quietly.

"Well clearly," Kim blushed. She paused and frowned as she tried to work out what the inquisition was about. "Simon, is….is this actually about me and Rob? Is there something you want to tell me?" she noticed that Simon's expression became decidedly guilty. "There is, isn't there? You haven't fallen for a woman have you?"

Simon gasped in horror.

"Ew_, no!"_ he cried but Kim was on a roll.

"Oh my god, is it DS Bridges from my department?"

"_No!"_

"It's not me, is it?" Kim backed away, "that's not why you want me to –" she gulped, _"pierce your nipples_, is it?"

"No, no and _no!"_ cried Simon, "Oh god, no!" he closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, "No Kim, no, it's not me."

Kim stared at him curiously.

"Who then?" she asked quietly.

Simon shook his head slowly.

"Doesn't matter," he said quietly.

"It clearly does," Kim said, "you're in the jumper and getting your nipples pierced, it's got to be someone pretty special." She waited for Simon to fill in the blanks. "So who is it?"

Simon gave a heavy sigh and looked down, shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter, Kim," he said quietly, "he says he doesn't know what he wants. But in the end, it's probably not going to be me," he closed his eyes, "it never is."

Kim had rarely seen Simon so despondent.

"Oh _Si,"_ she said quietly. She considered putting an arm around him but she wasn't really the huggy type. Instead she reached onto her box and pulled out another pair of gloves.

"What are you doing?" Simon asked.

"Lie down on the couch," Kim told him.

"Why?"

"And pull your jumper up," she told him.

"What for?"

"What do you think?" Kim asked, "we're piercing your nipples."

"I thought you said you weren't going to do it!" Simon frowned.

Kim gave him a sad smile.

"You look like you need a boost," she said quietly, "maybe a couple of gold rings are what you need to convince this mystery man that you're worth fighting for."

Simon gave her a nervous smile.

"OK," he said quietly.

He couldn't recall ever being as scared as he was the moment he laid on the couch and pulled up his jumper. Aside from anything else he hated anyone seeing his torso and the scars he bore from a day on the hospital roof, not to mention the love handles he'd acquired since arriving in Gene's world. Then he remembered that the tattoos had done a world of good for Robin's confidence, masking his own scars. Maybe _this_ was what _Simon_ needed.

"This will feel cold," Kim warned him as she came at him with a wipe.

"_You're not touching my nipples!"_ Simon cried, covering them up in alarm.

"I kind of have to if you want me to _pierce_ them!" Kim cried.

Simon hesitated, and finally relaxed a little. He steeled himself as she cleaned the area and stood up.

"I'm just going to apply the clamp," she told him, then half a second later Simon was out cold.

~xXx~

"Well that was…" Robin gave a slightly awkward laugh as he bushed his hair from his face, "_unexpected_."

Jake finished refastening the buttons of his shirt and looked at Robin slightly shyly, his hair dishevelled and his skin flushed.

"And to think all I got Marci was a CD player," he said with a giggle.

"And she got you a boyfriend," Robin said as he pulled up his trousers and began to fasten the belt.

"Is… that what you are?" Jake asked nervously and Robin hesitated,

"Is that what you'd like me to be?" he asked.

Jake paused, then closed his eyes and gave a gentle laugh.

"I'm so shocked by recent developments that I have no idea what to call you," he said.

"Well not '_sir',_" Robin told him.

"You seemed to like it a few minutes ago," Jake pointed out and Robin blushed.

"Only when it was your turn in the handcuffs," he said. He swept back his hair and checked that he'd refastened all his buttons properly. "I meant everything I said, Jake. I really like you."

Jake had a nervous but bright smile on his face.

"Me too," he said, "I-I like you, I mean."

"I know this situation is... _odd_," Robin said quietly, "for both of us… we'll have to see how things work out." He paused as he watched Jake tucking a chain into his shirt. On the end of the chain was a ring. "That's nice," Robin told him, nodding towards it.

Jake seemed a little downbeat suddenly. He ran his fingers around the chain.

"It's my mother's wedding ring," he said quietly, "she died when I was young."

Robin flinched.

"Shit," he cursed, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"I don't talk about it much," Jake said quietly, "I don't remember her very well. " he hung his head, "I wish I did."

"Simon's mum died when he was young too," Robin told him, "I know things like Christmas always made him think of her."

Jake nodded.

"That's why I'm wearing this," he patted the chain beneath his shirt, "I don't always. It just makes me feel closer to her."

"What about the rest of your family?" Robin asked.

"I don't see my father much," Jake told him, "he doesn't live round here. We're not close anyway. Think he was kind of saddled with me. Some wild passionate fling and, bingo, there I was." He caught himself starting to feel melancholy and tried to change the subject. "How about you? Are you spending tomorrow with family"

Robin swallowed and closed his eyes.

"Yeah… family's a bit of a sore point for me too," he said awkwardly, "My father killed my mum when I was fifteen," he saw Jake's jaw drop in horror, "I'm sorry… there's no nice way to tell people.

"God, sir," Jake swallowed, "I-I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry –"

"It's fine," Robin said quietly, "you needed to know this some time."

"Any brothers and sisters?"

_Just the question I wanted to answer_, Robin thought to himself but he managed to keep his composure.

"I have a half brother," he said quietly. Drawing together his strength he said, "he's been in a coma. Now he's in a long term care facility." It seemed a better explanation than '_he's attempted to assault or kill most of us at some point'_. He shook his head. _"Kim's_ my family," he said quietly. Something about those words made him reach urgently for his pocket and pat around it for an object, then breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's the matter?" Jake asked.

"Nothing," Robin said, a smile breaking through, "I just… sorry, I bought something earlier and I was worried I'd lost it." He could see from Jake's face that he thought robin had 'lost it' in a different way. "It's a ring, Jake," he admitted, "Me and Kim… when we got engaged it was a really rough time, I'd been shot and I was really sick, and then we went through…" he swallowed, "we went through a very deep loss and everything went so wrong for us. And then we couldn't be together…" he shook his head, "and ever since we've been reunited it feels almost like the engagement never happened. It was such a strange time for us." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box, "so this time we're going to do it right," he said, "last time no one even got to propose properly. This time things are going to be different." He opened the box and a rather unusual and not at all traditional ring stared back.

"That's beautiful," Jake commented.

"I only just picked it up," Robin told him, "It had to be resized and I was terrified it wasn't going to be ready."

"I think that's perfect," Jake told him as the door swung open and a curious Marci leaned through the doorway. She raised an eyebrow.

"You two move fast," she said, eying the ring.

"Oh for goodness sake, your bloody timing," Jake rolled his eyes.

"So are you two official then?" Marci asked.

"I didn't _propose_ if that's what you mean," Robin told her.

"Come on, spill the beans," Marci hopped up and down, waiting for gossip.

"You can buy that information with alcohol tonight," Jake told her.

"Your grin has already passed on the info I needed," Marci informed him.

"Shit, I forgot about tonight," Robin began, yanking on his jacket, "I'd better go. I haven't even had lunch, I've got a shitload of things to do before the party."

"See you later then?" asked Jake.

Robin's smile was still slightly shy.

"Looking forward to it," he said quietly and leaned forward for a slightly awkward kiss, well aware that Marci was still standing in the doorway, looking for all the world like she was about to let off party poppers and start cheering at any second. "We'll pick this up later," he said uncomfortably and shuffled out of the door with one last glance back and one last smile.

Marci waltzed into the room as Robin left.

"So?" she pressed, "am I to believe that the cherry has been popped?"

Jake's face turned extremely red but he couldn't deny it.

"The cherry isn't just popped, it's been blasted from the stratosphere" he told her.

~xXx~

"Simon… Simon…. _Oi! Noel Edmonds!"_

Simon's eyes shot open and he gasped.

"What?" he cried, "Is it done yet?"

Kim folded her arms and flopped beside him.

"No," she said, "you fainted."

"Shit, was the pain that bad?" Simon cringed.

"You never got that far," Kim told him, "You didn't even get to the clamp." She closed her eyes, "in fact, you passed out at the _word_ 'clamp'."

"Fuck," Simon righted himself and hung his head, "Shit, why did I ever think I could go through with this?"

"It's because you're not ready," Kim said quietly, "you weren't mentally prepared. If you just give it a little while and see if you still want it done –"

"It's fine, I give up," Simon mumbled, "I'm no Robin."

"No one would _want_ you to be," Kim told him, "we want you to be Simon."

"I'm not sure _I_ want to be Simon," he told her, "I wear a Noel Edmonds jumper and pass out at the word 'clamp'." He paused as he heard a desperate, hollow growl coming from Kim's stomach. "What was that you were saying earlier about your lack of digestive issues?"

"Shut up," Kim hissed in total mortification, "this is all _your_ fault anyway. You and your can openers! I haven't had lunch yet! I was about to get something when you called with your nipple request and I've _still_ not had anything!

"Sorry," Simon said awkwardly. He seemed to have a knack for ruining Kim's Christmas eves. He frowned suddenly. "Where's Robin?" he hadn't even thought to ask.

"Oh, he's off doing immoral things on desks by the sound of things."

"What?"

Kim hesitated. Simon was probably not the nest person to tell.

"Rob and Jake," she said, "come on, Si, you know they've been heading that way."

Simon swallowed as his infidelity sensors locked to overload.

"Robin… is spending Christmas eve… _cheating_ on you?"

"It's not cheating! I had to help organise it."

"You booked him as a _prostitute?!"_

_"No!_ Don't be ridiculous!" cried Kim, "it's just they needed a helping hand!"

Simon closed his eyes and shook his head. He'd known this was brewing along for some time but he didn't like it, not at all.

"I really hope you two know what you're doing," he said quietly.

"Simon," Kim said quietly, "you remember what you were saying earlier? About me and Rob being good for each other?"

"Yeah."

"Our relationship is just a bit different," Kim said quietly, "doesn't make it wrong, just makes it different. And just because Robin has found some extra companionship in Jake doesn't make the two of us any less serious. More so, in fact. Total trust, Simon." She looked at him seriously. "Si?"

Simon looked at her.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I have never felt as lucky in my life as I do to be with Rob. We should never have even met… much less fall in love. But we did. And whatever you might think of the way our relationship is…" she couldn't stop herself from smiling, "we're solid, Simon. Really solid. We've been through so much."

Simon gave a slightly sad smile.

"Yeah," he admitted, "you have."

"We've come out of it so much stronger," she whispered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You and Robin were solid too. You were good for each other. But now those same things apply in a different way. I am so happy the two of you are such good friends. I always felt so guilty… like I was taking him from you."

He watched her hang her head.

"No, Kim," he said, "not at all."

"He's everything to me," Kim said quietly. "In fact," she gave a shrug, not quite able to look Simon in the eye, "you know… our engagement… it happened at a really weird time. It always felt a little… strange. And since we've been back it almost feels like it never happened. Even though we're as committed as ever, even more than before…" she looked back at him. "I-I bought another ring. Is that silly?" she didn't wait for Simons reply, "I want to ask him, again. I want to tell him how much I love him." Simon wasn't sure he'd ever heard Kim say the L word before, "I want to ask him to marry me, again. Like a fresh start, Get engaged all over again. And this time nothing's going to split us up." She swallowed, "but sometimes I still feel so guilty. He wore your ring for the longest time."

Simon hesitated.

"Kim," he began, "am I right in thinking you are… asking my _permission_ to marry Robin?" despite himself his mouth twitched into a smile, "I'm not his dad, you know."

"Ugh, not asking _him,_" Kim pulled a face.

Simon looked Kim in the eye.

"Rob and I had something special," he said quietly, "but I can see in you and him something that I never had." He flinched as he realised that he was experiencing with someone impermissible something _he'd_ never had with _Robin_ too. "Kim. He belongs to you now. You belong to him. Be happy."

The smile they exchanged was warm and familiar, as though time had never passed and their friendship had never been broken by worlds and time. Kim felt a warmth running through her.

"Thank you," she whispered. Simon smiled and looked at the mature, strong woman Kim had become. He felt so proud of her. His eyes darted to the jewellery by their side.

"Kim?" he said.

"Hmm?"

Simon took a deep breath.

"I think I'm ready now."


	6. Six Geese a-Laying

**Six Geese A-Laying**

Alex shook her head distastefully as she watched Gene hiding a wooden spoon under the wrapping paper.

"Kim is going to kill you," she warned him.

"I'm not afraid of someone you need a tin opener to have sexual intercourse with," Gene mumbled as he turned back to Alex in bed.

"Are you getting back in or do I have to form a lasso with that silver ribbon and drag you back myself?" she demanded.

Gene was quite intrigued by the idea of Alex lassoing him and starting imagining cowboy roleplay but realised that he preferred the bare woman in the bed to any kind of cowgirl costume, however sexy Alex would have looked in a pair of slightly dusty, tight jeans and a cowboy hat cocked to a coquettish angle.

"Where were we, Lady B?" he asked as Alex lifted up the covers to reveal that she'd been busy while Gene had been wasting his time on wooden spoons. Hidden under the duvet, Alex's body was now swathed in red and white; a kinky Santa outfit she'd been saving for just such an occasion. "Blimey," Gene's eyes widened, "you'll get frostbite riding the sleigh in that."

"I'm hoping that I'll be riding _something_ but it won't be a sleigh," Alex informed him and Gene raised his eyebrows.

"Listen to Little Miss Innuendo," he said, "anyone would think you'd been stuck with me for the last seventeen years."

"Well what are you waiting for?" she asked.

"I'm waiting to find out if I'm on your naughty or nice list," Gene informed her.

Alex pouted and studied him critically.

"What if I said you were on both?" she asked.

Gene considered for a moment.

"I think you've found me perfect position," he told her.

"Not yet, I haven't," Alex smirked. She patted the bed beside her. "Are you going to get in or do you need Rudolph to guide you?"

"I think I can find me way," Gene told her, "who needs a red nose when you can follow a nice big pair of –"

_"Gene!"_

Gene had no intention of apologising as he dived under the covers, pulled the duvet around them and laid beside her. He pulled the duvet around their necks, up to their chins to fight off the cold winter and looked her in the eye as he lay by her side. He felt a knee riding up between his legs where Alex found him already hard as she said,

"You appear to still be wearing your boxers, Gene."

"I'm not getting naked if you're not," Gene teased.

"Yes, but my clothes are here to enhance your satisfaction," Alex told him cheekily, "your mistletoe boxers… do _not."_

"They will if you follow the traditional purpose of the mistletoe," Gene pointed out.

"Oh bollocks, get them off," Alex commanded, sliding down beneath the covers and emerging a few moments later with her prize, the underwear Gene had refused to part with, which she tossed out of the bed and turned back to Gene. "Your move," she told him.

"Didn't know we were playing chess," Gene told her as he pushed back the duvet and moved on top of her, pinning her to the bed.

"You can be the king if I can be the queen," Alex told him as she felt his hot breath descending upon the side of her face, the roughness of his chin moving against her cheek as he leaned close to her ear and breathed,

"_Royalty, are you?"_ he pressed his lips to her skin and left her tingling as he placed a rough, slow kiss against it, "do I need to bow now?"

"I can think of one or two reasons why I might insist upon you going down," Alex told him and he gave a low growl from the suggestion, moving closer to her ear and sending shivers down her spine as he whispered,

"Play your cards right and you might get yer hands on the crown jewels."

"Oh, I think they're here already," Alex breathed, reaching between his legs and feeling his whole body jolt atop her as she cupped his balls and softly squeezed them.

"That's very forward of you, your majesty," he told her, the action taking away the last of the resolve he had left. He sat up, straddling her, and pushed up the Santa slip to take a look at her hardening nipples as goosebumps of anticipation covered her body from head to toe. He grasped her breasts, one in each hand and firmly squeezed them, massaging them slowly with the tips of his fingers before moving his efforts to making her pert nipples as hard as they could be. They stood up proudly from both the cold and her arousal.

"Now, a queen," Alex began, thinking back to the chess analogy, "is the most powerful piece on the board."

"I've suspected as much for years," Gene told her, dipping down and sucking at each nipple, leaving them tingling with long, languid kisses that made her draw in her breath sharply. Her head pushed back against the pillow as the rest of her body squirmed and writhed, desperate for his attentions to move further south.

"A queen goes in all directions," she told him.

"So I've heard."

"Whereas the _king_," Alex breathed, "can only move one square at a time," she began to push him down by the top of his head, forcing him to move his kisses slowly from her breasts down her body. They traced a line down her torso and across her smooth belly where they came to stop at her little round tattoo. Gene hesitated for a moment. Even though she had been back in that different body for almost a year it was still strange to find the little letter 'G' instead of the scar from his bullet. His fingers traced the ink. Whatever he might have said about Kim shed done a bloody good job on the tattoo.

"I think," Alex whispered, "I'll let you move _one more square."_

"Thank you, yer majesty," Gene mumbled as he backed down the bed, grasping her at the hips with both hands and sliding his tongue between her legs where she was already slick with building excitement. She reached up and clasped the headboard. It was all she could do to stop herself from writhing wildly as his tongue dipped in and out of her, moved back and forth across her clit and then dipped back inside for another taste.

"_Gene,"_ she whispered, her eyes tightly closed. She began to see stars in the darkness as the blood rushed around her body and the tingling around her clit grew and moved upwards until it filled her belly. She could feel the sensations building moment by moment, the arousal increasing as Gene's strong hands grasped her to keep her still. She breathed his name, she begged for more, she urged him to move faster and to keep on going but just as she was heading close to the edge he moved away and rose with a smug look upon his face. She eyed him accusingly, her expression torn between anger, frustration and confusion.

"Thought it was about time you got those crown jewels I promised you," he told her as she panted a little, the feelings starting to slip away momentarily until he moved along her and slipped his hard cock straight inside of her. In an instant they those feelings all came back and she closed her eyes again, gripping the headboard, feeling his length slide inside of her then withdrawing before it thrust deeper than before.

"Oh _fuck,"_ She breathed. Gene noted she was rarely as fond of profanity as she was when aroused.

"that language is not befitting of royalty," he told her.

"Shut up and fuck me," Alex gasped, then gave a moan as he fulfilled her command.

"As you wish, your majesty," he growled, his motion speeding up, then slowing down, teasing her, taunting her… he'd rarely heard her so breathy, so in need of passion and desperate for intimacy. Her hands left the headboard and reached for his shoulders where she pressed her fingernails against his skin, making him groan as she gently scratched the surface of his back.

"_Ohhh_ what are you doing to me, Bolly?" he growled, his cock throbbing, reaching its very hardest state. She felt so hot, so wet, it drove him crazy. He wanted more, he _needed_ it, and so did she. Every inch of her body tingled as she grasped him tightly and let out a cry of pure pleasure, her inhibitions abandoned by a moment of ecstasy as her climax hit. The sound of her screaming his name as she came drove Gene wild and he knew he was about to lose it. His eyes closed and his pace increased again as the tingles and the twitching that filled his lower body grew ever stronger and with a loud moan he fired his load inside her; the moment of orgasm taking his breath away. He felt her arms around him as he came, her body hot and covered with perspiration.

His cock throbbed and pulsed as his orgasm began to fall away and he fell against Alex's body where he lay, breathing heavily, feeling her chest rise and fall as she did the same. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her heartbeat, feeling her hands rubbing his skin as she moaned with the occasional twitch his cock gave inside of her. The aftershocks from her orgasm still pricked her like a pin, making her crotch jump now and again.

Outside the frost was starting to gather on the ground as the sun went down. But inside the heat couldn't rise much higher if it tried. Gene and Alex had one another to unwrap for Christmas. Anything else would just be a bonus.


	7. Seven Swans a-Swimming

**Seven Swans a-Swimming**

"Kim? I'm back!" Robin threw his keys down in the hall and walked to the empty lounge. "Kim?" He tried wandering down the hallway where he heard a whimpering sound and started to panic. "Kim?" he frowned. He peered into the kitchen and almost gasped in horror as he found her slumped across the kitchen table, snivelling slightly. "My god, Kim," he ran to her side, "Whatever's happened?"

Kim could barely raise her head as he put an arm around her shoulders.

"_I've just ventured into parts of Simon where no self-respecting lesbian should ever have to go,"_ she whimpered.

"What?" Robin wrinkled up his brow in confusion.

"Don't ask," Kim groaned.

Robin bit his lip a little nervously.

"Does… this have anything to do with your piercing kit being open in the lounge?" he asked. In reply Kim could only nod silently. "You're right, I don't want to know." He hugged her head to his chest and stroked her hair gently. It had to be one of two places that Simon'd had pierced to distress Kim to such a degree and he had a feeling he was going to have to counsel her for some time to help her past the trauma. He softly kissed her head and she sat upright. "Sorry I was gone so long."

"I take it that was a good sign?" Kim asked a little cheekily to make Robin blush.

"Pretty much," he said awkwardly as Kim smiled.

"Yeah, it was about time," she told him.

"So you were in on this as well, were you?"

"Only a little bit," Kim told him, "it was Marci's idea."

"Whoever's idea it was I'm just glad someone had the nerve to push us together because we'd never have done it ourselves," Robin told her. He stood up and held out his hand. "Coming to the lounge?" he asked but in reply she moaned and flopped back to the table.

"I'm too weak to move," she whimpered.

"What's the matter?"

"We never had lunch!" Kim reminded him amid loud fake sobs of distress.

"Oops," Robin bit his lip. He hadn't even realised. "Sorry, Kim." He nodded to the fridge, "is it too late to make you a Christmas eve lunch?"

"Yes, because I'm too weak to eat," Kim told him dramatically, "I can't move my jaw.

"You seem to be managing well enough to complain," Robin teased and Kim coughed pathetically.

"I'm dead," she said, "I'm too dead for food now."

"Really?" Robin asked. He stood up and walked slowly toward the fridge, "are you sure you're too dead for food?"

"Food is a foreign concept to the dead," Kim mumbled into her arm but the sound of the fridge opening made her glance up.

"That is a shame," he told her, "that's a _real_ shame. So much good stuff in here and you're too dead to eat any of it."

Kim watched warily as Robin reached into the fridge and pulled out the cheese box. He took a knife from the counter, sank to the floor in front of the fridge and opened up the box.

"Rub my nose in my own deadness, why don't you?" she sighed.

Robin made a big show of cutting off a corner from the block of cheese and popped it in his mouth. He chewed it slowly, moaning as though it was the most divine taste in the world. He watched Kim looking increasingly annoyed.

"I don't know what you're doing _that_ for!" she scolded, "you were the one who told me not to eat until you got back and now you're making me suffer more!"

"Not that you care because you're too dead to eat," he reminded her, "right?"

"Right."

In response Robin sliced off another corner from the cheese and aimed it slowly towards his mouth.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want any?" he taunted.

"Not wanting any is not the point!" cried Kim, "I'm too weak and too drained to move!"

"Oh, so you've recovered from your sudden bout of _death_ then?" Robin asked. He tried not to laugh at the growing annoyance on Kim's face. "Come here," he told her, smiling.

"Too weak. You come here."

"Well if you're not going to play by my rules –" Robin began and ate the cheese.

"_What_ rules?" Kim didn't know whether to laugh or give him the finger.

"The rule that says you should join me over here", Robin told her with a sly smile.

Kim watched with envy as Robin sliced off another piece of cheese and made a big deal about eating it. Shuffling to mask the growling of her stomach she pulled a face at him and sat up.

"You're a cruel man, Robin Thomas, a bloody cruel man."

"A cruel man with cheese," Robin told her.

Her hunger pangs finally tore her resolve away and with a growl of frustration she had to give in.

"Fine," she said with annoyance, "but you'd better make this worth my while."

"Oh, I will," Robin smiled. He curt a chunk of cheese and held it up as she joined him on the floor in front of the open fridge. "Open wide."

Kim wanted to make a comment about sexual innuendos but the cheese needed her attention more than the comment so she opened her lips and allowed Robin to feed her the cheese. Despite herself she gave a moan of pleasure and finally food passed her lips.

"Worth your while?" Robin asked as Kim swallowed it down.

"Not yet," she told him, a half-smirk appearing as he cut some more and fed it to her. She closed her eyes and sighed happily at the flavour. "Getting better," she mumbled, swallowing.

"But still not good enough?" Robin asked and Kim raised her eyebrows. "Alright." Robin gently but firmly pushed her backwards until she lay across the hard black and white checked floor tiles.

"What are you doing?" she squealed, the temperature of the floor giving her a bit of a shock.

"Making it worth your while," Robin told her. There was a different tone in his voice now. It was no longer light and cheeky, it was playful and desirous. He looked at Kim, overwhelmed with thankfulness that she was finally there with him, that they were able to spend Christmas together. After he'd arrived in the world on a permanent transfer he'd feared that he would never see her again and yet here they were, living their lives as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

He reached for the buckle of the belt she'd slung around the shirt she was wearing and started to unfasten it, then opened her shirt one button at a time.

"Haven't you had enough for one day?" Kim commented cheekily with a glint in her eye.

"Nope," Robin smiled, "I haven't had any of _you."_

He spread the shirt open and pulled her upright momentarily to pull the shirt from her body, then laid her down upon it so the floor wasn't too hard or cold.

"What's gotten into you today?" Kim asked, trying not to giggle, "- apart from Jake," she said cheekily.

"Well that's very crude, Miss Stringer," Robin told her, "I think we need to give your mouth something to do to stop any more rude comments."

"Oh yeah?" Kim asked, raising an eyebrow and suddenly more cheese loomed before her which she accepted hungrily. As she gulped it down she glanced up at Robin who was getting to his feet. "Wha- where are you _going?_" she demanded.

"Not far, don't worry," Robin reached into the fridge and collected up a few items, laying each one by her side.

"What are you doing?" she asked, "I feel silly –"

"You won't in a moment," Robin told her as he quickly popped open the button on her jeans and pulled down the zip. He slipped one hand inside her jeans, between her legs and as she opened her mouth in a gasp of surprise he popped a little parma ham on her tongue and her eyes widened. She chewed it and swallowed.

"_I almost choked,"_ she lied as he pressed his fingers against her and caused her to close her eyes and draw in her breath.

"Be ready for the next one then," he whispered, feeding her a little more ham. She moaned as she chewed, a combination of fine flavours and strong sensations curing two different hungers at the same time. When she'd eaten the ham she opened her eyes and looked at Robin's devilish expression.

"Dear _god_, what are you doing to me?" she whispered.

"Making it up to you," he told her, "I left you hungry all day."

"In more ways than one," Kim told him softly as the feelings started building up and a tingling spread through her body.

"Still feeling hungry?" he breathed against her neck as he began to kiss her skin softly and she growled with need.

_"Ravenous,"_ she whispered. She no longer felt silly, all she felt was a desperate need to be touched, to be closer to him than ever.

"I'll keep going then," he whispered. He slipped the tip of his finger inside her for a second which sent her body twitching like crazy before he reached for a tomato and held it above her to bite into. As her teeth sank into the flesh of the food the juice dripped from inside, running down her chin and onto her neck.

"Whoops," Robin whispered. He looked Kim in the eye as he saw her cheeks flushing with the fast pace of her heart. Withdrawing his hand from her jeans, he leaned close to her and brushed his lips lightly to hers, then moved down to kiss the juice away from her chin. She gave a low moan as his lips travelled downward, cleaning her skin, kissing every inch as he went until he moved beyond the remains of the tomato and concentrated on kissing her body, as much of it as he could before he reached the top of her jeans and began to pull them down along with her knickers. She writhed on the floor, wriggling to allow him to remove them before he abandoned her momentarily to dip back into his supply of food and emerged with strawberries.

"Very seasonal," Kim whispered with a smile as Robin gave her a sly grin. He placed the punnet on her belly and she yelped at the sensation of the cold fruit.

"Sorry," he smirked.

"Bastard," she protested but as he slipped a hand between her thighs and ran his fingers along the wetness that was already covering her clit he knew that her protests would have to stop. "_Fuck!"_

"Now hold still," Robin told her. He opened the punnet, then reached beside them and picked up a fresh pot of cream.

"I thought they were for boxing day," Kim could barely breathe as tiny pinpricks of excitement filled her body.

"You needed filling up now," Robin reminded her, peeling back the foil. He plucked out a strawberry and dipped it into the cream before he offered it out to her. "Right?"

Slowly Kim opened her mouth and awaited the sweet treat, but at the last second he withdrew it and munched it himself instead, raising a laugh of outrage from Kim.

"You _bastard!"_ she cried.

"That's a bit severe," Robin giggled, grabbing another strawberry and popping it in her mouth before she could say anything else. She gave a muffled laugh as she bit it off at the stalk and closed her eyes, taking in the beautiful flavour while Robin's fingers ran the length of her torso, arriving back at the punnet. He picked out another strawberry and dipped it into the cream.

"This one's yours," he said, holding it out before turning his hand around and aiming it into his own mouth instead.

"I _knew_ you were going to do that," Kim said, half annoyed and half amused. Robin laughed as he ate the strawberry.

"OK, OK," he began with a grin, "this one's _definitely_ for you." He picked out a strawberry, dipped it into the cream and raised his eyebrow. "Ready?"

To Kim's utter shock Robin placed the scream-covered fruit on her belly and began to slowly trail it up towards her face. She gasped and wriggled at the sensation of the cold cream on her skin as it snaked and swirled in patterns before he finally held it out for her to eat. She was so taken with the sensation of the movement across her skin that she could barely remember to bite into the fruit.

Driven by the sound of her pleasured gasp, Robin dipped another strawberry and traced it in a pattern along her body, touching both of her pierced nipples briefly before holding it out for her to bite. He reached into the box again to repeat the motion with another creamy strawberry, and another, and another until the box was empty, her stomach was full and her body was slippery and sticky with cream.

"Can't take you anywhere, can I?" he whispered into her ear as she lay back almost helpless with anticipation, "look at the mess you're in."

"I can't take responsibility for that," Kim whispered, Robin's breath against her ear sending a shiver down her spine.

"Maybe it was _partly_ my fault," Robin gave a sly smile. He leaned forward and kissed her; his shirt became stained by cream but he didn't care. Slowly he moved downward, kissing her chin, then her neck, then her chest, dipping his tongue into the cream, lapping it up like a contented cat, although _Kim_ was the one who was purring. The sounds she uttered as Robin moved downward, tasting her skin beneath the cream, covering every inch of her body drove him wild and soon he found himself between her legs, his tongue not yet too tired to taste a different kind of sweetness, dipping inside of her, moving back and forth across her clit, sweeping back and forth while she breathed deeper and gasped a little louder with every stroke.

With one last long lap of his tongue he sat up, his shirt smeared and messy, and gently slipped two fingers inside of her; pressing them upwards, searching for the spot that he knew was going to send a shockwave of intense pleasure through her body. When her hips suddenly rose he knew he'd found it and he couldn't hold back the smile.

"_There it is,"_ he murmured as he moved his fingers in and out of her, pushing them in deeper, pressing her g-spot while his other hand began to concentrate on her clit, rubbing it a little harder and a little faster every few moments to build up the feeling.

"Oh _fuck,"_ she breathed, her head back and eyes closed, surrendering completely to him, surrendering to Robin's touch. Her body jolted as she gave in to the thunderous climax that she'd been trying to hold off as long as possible and cried out as waves of sensation emanated from between her legs and spread throughout her from head to toe. She could barely breathe, she couldn't see or hear, all her concentration went into the orgasm that wracked her with twitches and jolts until the feeling began to die down and she lay, still and exhausted across the floor; messy, sticky but thoroughly satisfied in every way.

Dazed and dizzy, she slowly propped herself up on one arm, looking at Robin's somewhat smug expression and gasped,

"If you're going to do that every time you've seen Jake then why the bloody hell didn't you two get together sooner?" She watched Robin look down and laugh gently as she rose properly to an upright position, grabbing for a teatowel to clean herself off a little. She realised how far they had both come, from the first tentative steps of their relationship to being 100% comfortable with one another in every way. She couldn't imagine doing such a thing with anybody else. "Look at the state of me," she said, laughing. She glanced up at Robin. "You too"

"It's a dirty job but somebody had to do it," Robin joked.

Kim wiped at her sticky body, gave a muffled burp and surveyed the mess around them.

"This'll take forever to clean up," she told him.

"Better get started then," Robin told her as he got to his feet. He held out his hanf. "Come on then."

"What are you doing?" frowned Kim.

"I'm going to clean _you_ up first," Robin told her, "in a long, hot bubble bath."

"The floor –"

"Fuck the floor."

"I think we just did," Kim commented.

Robin smiled and grasped her hand. Slowly she rose from the ground and he led her away to the bathroom to wash her sticky, sweet skin clean. It might have been Christmas eve but Robin was happy to let Kim have one surprise a day early at the very least

_**~xXx~**_

_**A/N: Updates may be a little slower for a while because I'm launching a new business (yes another one!) and I'm also way ahead of where I was expecting to be in my storyline for this time of year and am planning to start a certain fic on a certain day. So I may be able to pick up some of the side fics I've left abandoned as well!**_

_**Also, in case I don't update in the next couple of days HAPPY EASTER! :) *sends Simon round your houses wearing bunny ears and an easter version of the jumper***_


	8. Eight Maids a-Milking

_**A/N: Happy easter everyone! Don't eat too many eggs or step on the Easter bunny's foot or anything, OK? A few chapters ago I gave in and wrote Galex for – well, everyone except me! :P So this chapter is me having my fun in return, OK? Fair's fair! **_

**~xXx~**

**Eight Maids A-Milking**

"Don't drink anything blue with '_pops'_ in the title."

"No, Gene."

"Or dance to anything by bloody Boyzone."

"No, Gene."

"Keep yer eye out for dodgy shirt-lifters."

"Gene, I don't think I need to worry about that."

"Unless it's Batman after he's had a skinful."

"That was _one_ time, _and_ he preferred you anyway," Alex reminded him.

Gene carried on regardless.

"I want you home by midnight or yer arse will turn into a pumpkin."

Alex sighed.

_"Yes, yes,"_ she mumbled.

"And who do we mention wooden spoons to?"

"No one, Gene," Alex sighed, "can I go now?"

Gene nodded and watched Alex open the car door before he called her back.

"Oi. Bols."

Alex stopped, one leg out of the car.

"Yes?" she sighed.

Gene reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly misshapen piece of plastic mistletoe. Alex looked at him with a curious frown, slightly hesitant to take it from him as it looked like it – and the inside of his pocket – had seen better days.

"Just make sure you spit out all the rivets afterwards," he told her. She stared at him like he'd just lost the plot "Tell Stringer happy Christmas from me."

Alex hesitated, slowly biting one side of her lip while the other rose in a smile that she tried to keep back.

"Gene?" she said, tilting her head slightly.

"Maybe it'll make up for the wooden spoon," he told her and Alex's smile broke free as she grasped Gene's face and landed what could only be described as a large smacker on the lips, then as she pulled him back, leaving him smeared with her lipstick she told him.,

"I love you, Gene Hunt," and she flounced out of the car with the biggest spring in her step.

Rolling down the window, Gene leaned out and called to her;

"_Oi! Bolly. I want a full description."_ He paused for a moment, _"And if you want to change Stringer to Ginger Spice in that description it would be more than OK with me."_

~xXx~

"Are you sure you're OK?" Robin asked as Kim staggered along toward the club. She looked at him tiredly.

"You bloody wore me out!" she accused.

"You just spent two hours lying in the bath," Robin pointed out, "you even changed the water twice!"

"Yeah, we _both_ did!" Kim cried, "therein lies the problem! Now I'm even more tired than I was before it!"

They entered the club and found it surprisingly empty considering the fact that it was Christmas eve. Or was that why? Maybe people didn't really want to go clubbing. Perhaps the telly was too good?

The sight of Jake, Marci and Shaz moving toward them made Kim snicker a little and make kissy noises to Robin which landed her with his palm flat across her mouth

"That's _quite_ enough of that, thank you," Robin told her as she giggled.

"Hey," Jake smiled a little shyly as he reached Robin.

"Hey you," Robin bit his lip as he smiled back.

There was a strange silence full of secret smiles and little else until Kim threw her hands in the air.

"It's not like you have to keep it a secret, for god's sake!" she cried, "we were all in on this, just kiss and we can get on with it."

Jake and Robin exchanged a glance, both looking a little awkward about kissing in front of an audience but finally braved a chaste peck on the lips that made everyone roll their eyes.

"Pathetic," Marci told them.

"Two out of ten," Shaz chimed in

"You do realise I'm the only person here you haven't kissed, sir?" Marci frowned at Robin who backed away slightly.

"Now isn't going to be the first time either," he said awkwardly.

"Hey, it's DCI Shoebury," Shaz said, pointing her bottle in the direction of the door.

No one was really expecting Simon to make it – he'd often stated that the club wasn't really his scene. He was walking a little strangely, his arms folded in front of him but an inch or so away from his body; a sight which made Kim flinch and swallow.

"Jesus, it's all coming back to me," she mumbled.

Simon arrived beside them and five shocked faces stared in his direction.

"S-Sir?" Marci blinked a couple of times.

"Simon, your hair," Robin's brow creased slightly at the unexpected sight of Simon's hair gelled back, adding a different appearance to his usually unruly waves. His usual plain, smart kind of shirt had been replaced by something in an altogether brighter shade and there was no sign of the dreaded jumper. Simon swallowed and felt his face burning up a little.

"I just felt like a change of image, OK?" he said, trying to cut off the inquisition before it began.

"I love the shirt," Marci told him, suddenly eying Simon in a whole new light which made him frown and hide behind Robin slightly.

"It was in the back of the wardrobe," Simon mumbled awkwardly as he became acutely aware that Jake was staring at him.

"Are you cold in that sir?" he asked. Simon frowned.

"No, why?"

"N-nothing," Jake said.

"It's just," Marci began, "we can see your nip-"

"No no no, don't even go there," Kim tried to cover her eyes and her ears at the same time, running around in circles of distress.

Robin looked Simon up and down, quite taken aback.

"Quite an image change," he said. Simon seemed nervous. Maybe he was worried that Robin was about to seek revenge for his displeasure at his own change in appearance but instead he simply smiled. "Looks good," he said. He wanted to ask Simon what it was in aid of but from the look on Simon's face he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. There was something bothering Robin though. "I remember that shirt," he said quietly and Simon looked down with a distant smile. He'd arrived in it and hadn't worn it since.

"I thought you might," he said quietly.

Suddenly Marci yelped as Shaz's elbow arrived in her ribs.

"What was that for, Shaz?!" she cried, rubbing her chest but a frantic hand signal from Shaz made her look towards the door.

Look at DCI Drake!" she hissed.

"What -?!" Shaz's words caught Kim's attention. She froze, the distress of Simon's nipples falling away from her as she turned to see Alex walking towards them through the crowd on the dance floor, her face positively glowing and her chest practically bursting out of her top. She looked slightly nervous for some reason but wore a smile that melted the frost on the pavement.

"Wow," was all Jake could manage.

"She scrubs up well," Marci nodded in agreement

"Scrubs up well? She looks _gorgeous_!" Shaz corrected, somewhat in awe.

Robin was slightly perturbed to find that Kim had joined Simon in hiding behind him.

"What are you _doing?!"_ he cried.

Kim had trouble even forming a sentence. She mumbled something about not trusting herself and wanting things that belonged to people whose boots were almost as big as hers, then lost the ability to speak as Alex arrived beside them.

"Merry Christmas," she said brightly, oblivious to all the drool in the vicinity.

"Merry Christmas, ma'am," they chorused apart from Kim who managed to mumble _"Ma'amy Messmass Merry."_

Luckily for Kim it was too loud in the club for Alex to hear.

"Kim," she smiled, "You look wonderful."

Kim had never felt her cheeks start to burn with such vehemence before.

"Oh," she swallowed, "th-thank you."

Everyone stared at Kim incredulously. No one had ever seen her like that before. They were used to the irascible woman who always had a smart word and whose bite and bark were about on par with one another. This wasn't the Kim they were used to.

"Well go on then." Robin hissed. He elbowed her. "Buy Alex a drink."

"What?" Kim seemed surprisingly nervous. She glanced at Alex. "Do… do you want one"

"Love one," Alex smiled.

"OK," Kim shuffled away nervously with a half-smile. Jake looked at Robin somewhat curiously as Shaz and Marci encouraged Alex to head to the dance floor with them in the meanwhile.

"What's going on there?" he asked.

"I think it's complicated," Robin told him.

"I've heard things," Jake said awkwardly, "about – _you know."_

"Yeah," Robin nodded. "It's true."

"DCI _Drake_ and DCI _Stringer?"_

It was weird fir Robin to have someone referring to Kim by her title.

"Yeah," he nodded, "Kim's got it bad, not that she'll admit that."

"But they didn't… _actually…?"_ Jake's mouth fell open as Robin nodded. "God," he smirked a little, somehow amused by it, "so are they… now…"

Robin sighed and shook his head.

"Not really," he said, "but they should be,"

"What about the Guv?"

Robin scratched his head, pulling a face. He couldn't completely work out where Gene stood on any of it.

"I think," he said quietly, "that he's sort of taken with the _my-bird-fancies-another-bird_ side of it, as he'd put it," he said, "but he thinks Kim's turning into some sort of robot, so –"

"What, like a _Dalek?"_ Jake frowned.

"She isn't _actually_ turning into a robot," Robin felt the need to point out. He watched Kim at the bar, glancing behind her nervously and Alex sneaking looks back at Kim. "Fuck's sake, they have a go at _us_ for taking a long time but we're not the only ones."

"Tell me about it," Jake raised his eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"Marci," Jake pointed to the girls on the dance floor, "she usually doesn't know the meaning of the word 'slow'. But because Shaz had a freak out a long time ago she's scared of setting her off again." He sighed, "meanwhile poor Shaz looks like she's going to explode at any second."

"Must be something in the air," said Robin.

He and Jake exchanged a glance, then a laugh. Both closed their eyes momentarily, feeling more at ease with one another than they had since the day they met.

"You know, you haven't called me 'sir' once tonight," Robin commented.

Jake hadn't even realised but Robin was right.

"I'm finding it easier to distinguish between 'Chief Inspector Thomas' and 'Robin' since the latter of them left a trail of lovebites round my neck," he said, feeling his face flush. Robin bit his lip, slightly shocked he'd done that in the first place.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I think living with Kim's rubbed off on me."

"Don't be sorry," Jake smiled, "it gave me a good excuse to wear that new scarf Shaz gave me."

They both laughed for a moment and began to idly wander towards the bar.

"What are you doing tomorrow, Jake" Robin asked.

"Not much," Jake shrugged.

"Are you going to spend Christmas with your father?" Robin asked and Jake shook his head.

"Nah," he said quietly, "I'll call him in the morning. That's about as much as we do these days. Has been for years."

Robin bit his lip, feeling bad for bringing it up again.

"Sorry, Jake," he said quietly, or at least as quietly as the music would let him.

Jake seemed less bothered than Robin would have expected it.

"I'll probably end up spending the day with Marci," he said, "nine times out of ten that's what we do. It's not like she has any family around here any more."

Robin didn't even want to ask what happened to Marci's family. It seemed he'd tapped into dysfunctional family central as it was. He saw Kim with two drinks in her hands, looking more hesitant than he'd ever seen her. "Excuse me just one moment," he told Jake and left him for a minute to cross over to Kim.

She didn't even see Robin approaching until he was right beside her. His appearance made her jump a little.

"Sorry, I was miles away," she said, gasping a little from the shock.

"Kim, what are you doing?" Robin asked her.

"I was getting drinks," Kim said a little awkwardly.

"I mean about Alex," Robin nodded to her where she was dancing and sneaking looks back at Kim, "are you going to go over there or not?"

"I don't think Ishould, I've got things on my mind," Kim mumbled.

"Like what?"

"Like what I want to do with that cleavage," Kim said awkwardly.

"Then for goodness sake, go and _do_ it," Robin started to shove her towards Alex.

"I _can't!"_

"Why not?"

"Gene will kill me!"

"He's had endless chances to kill you already but you're still living and breathing!" Robin reminded her. He hesitated, "call it… call it therapy. To help you over your Post-Simon Stress disorder." He nodded ay Alex, "Look, Kim, she's staring at you and she's got cleavage deep enough to sink the titanic. She's shaken off Gene for the night, I don't think you're overstepping the mark. No, go on. _You lesbian, she woman, go get."_

Kim didn't know whether to laugh or stare in shock.

"What's gotten into you?" she cried.

"Jake. Now go."

Kim wasn't sure what surprised her more, Robin's brashness as he echoed her earlier words or the fact that she found herself walking towards Alex despite her nerves.

Alex had started to think Kim was never going to join her. She moved slowly away from the dancing girls and took the drink Kim held out for her.

"I got you a drink, Ma'am," Kim said nervously.

"We're in the middle of a nightclub and you're still calling me ma'am," Alex pointed out.

"Sorry," Kim bit her lip, "old habits and all that."

"Kim, are you nervous?" Alex asked somewhat incredulously, tilting her head a little.

"Of course not. I don't get nervous," Kim mumbled.

Alex closed her eyes for a moment with a smile.

"I am too," she said gently.

The silence that fell between them wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. It allowed them both a moment of quiet reflection as they exchanged a smile. Kim sipped her drink, wondering if that low-cut top was really for her benefit or whether she was just imagining it. She was fairly sure the little jiggle Alex suddenly gave was for her benefit though.

"So," Alex began eventually, "how's your Christmas eve been?"

Kim closed her eyes and groaned.

"I've had better," she said.

"Why? What happened?" Alex asked her.

"Everything except lunch," Kim told her. She saw Alex looking at her curiously. "Oh, it's a long story, ma'am."

"I'm not going anywhere," Alex smiled.

Kim felt her cheeks redden a little. She was like a schoolgirl with a crush on the latest pop sensation to hit the charts. But she felt very much alive. She looked around; the music, her friends, the people she loved all surrounding her. She felt so happy that she could almost burst. So Christmas eve had been a bit of a disaster. In all other ways her life had rarely felt so right.

"Well," she began, "It was all Simon's fault, really," she sighed and tried not to gag, "and I've seen things I never wanted to see in a million years."

"Then share them with me and we can _both_ be traumatised," Alex smiled.

Kim smiled back.

"Well," she began, "you see Ma'am, Simon decided to go for a change of image. It all started when I got this call. He wanted the use of my… professional piercing skills."

Alex was all ears.

"Tell me more..."

~xXx~

"Oh god, I don't know how I let you talk me into this," Alex peered nervously inside the deserted flat as Kim switched on the light and deactivated the alarm.

"I didn't," Kim reminded her, "You asked."

"_You_ were the one going on about shoving bits of metal through delicate areas!" Alex said anxiously as she stepped inside the home that had once belonged to her and Gene. It felt so strange to see it in the hands of someone else. It gave her a little shiver. Increasingly it felt as though Kim and Robin were stepping into their shoes.

"We don't have to do this," Kim said, smiling a little. She found Alex's nerves somehow endearing. It wasn't how she was used to seeing the woman she still couldn't think of as anything but 'Ma'am.'

"No, no, it's OK," Alex said decisively, "I want to."

"You will be fine, you know," Kim told her.

Alex swallowed, not looking all that certain.

"I know," she croaked.

Kim gave a very gentle laugh.

"Ma'am, we really don't have to do this," she said.

But Alex had her mind set.

"If I don't do it now then I'll regret it," she said.

"You're not going to be upset with me in the morning, are you?" Kim asked nervously, "when you wake up to find Gene accusing you of sticking rivets in your chest?"

"I think I can handle Gene," Alex said, her smile a little more relaxed this time.

Kim led her to the couch and patted its smooth surface.

"Lie down here for me," she said.

"you've slipped into tattooist mode," Alex observed.

"Sorry," Kim smiled. She knelt down beside her piercing case, still abandoned in the lounge from Simon's moment of glory, and found everything she needed - the clamp, the needles and the jewellery. "What do you want, Ma'am, bars or rings?"

Alex bit her lip and stared at the little sterile packets in Kim's hand as though trying to choose instead of stalling for time.

"You, uh," she cleared her throat, "you have the bars, don't you?" she asked, feeling her face starting to heat up a little. She admitted quietly to herself that the night she spent with Kim was something she revisited on her mind again and again. _Like I don't remember what jewellery you have, _she thought to herself as she looked innocently at Kim.

"That's right," Kim nodded, "they tend to be better for the healing process anyway. If you want to change them at a later date then you can always choose some rings another time."

"No, that's OK," Alex said anxiously, not particularly in love with the idea of ever having to remove and replace them.

Kim patted the couch again.

"Up," she said.

"Now you sound like Robin with one of his dogs," Alex commented which made Kim laugh.

"I suppose I'm picking up bad habits," she said, "the next thing you know I'll be giving you a biscuit and telling you to heel."

Alex nervously sat on the couch, her feet anxiously tapping on the floor..

"Does it hurt?" she asked anxiously, then she closed her eyes and laughed at herself. "I can't believe I just asked you that, Kim."

"It's fine," Kim laughed, "honestly, Ma'am, it's scarier in your mind that it will ever be in person. You'll feel it, I'm not denying that. But it's not going to be that bad. You've had tattoos, a moment with a needle is a walk in the park compared to those." She began to unwrap the needle. "I'll need you to pull up your top, Ma'am," she said, glancing up as Alex followed her instructions, then added with slight embarrassment, "And, erm… Take off your bra."

"Oh, right," Alex felt a little nervous and a little awkward. She cleared her throat as she fiddled with the material of her silken shirt. "I'll uh, have to take my top off to do that."

"You can just undo the bra and slip it up or down," Kim suggested. She could feel her cheeks starting to burn. _Goddamn it_, she'd previously spent years with needles in her hand, sinking ink and metal on or through any body part imaginable and she'd never once blushed. But then again, this was different.

"That's Ok, I'll," Alex hesitated for a moment, "I'll take it down."

Kim's eyes rose instantly to Alex's body. She couldn't help it, it was a reflex reaction. She looked away again guiltily and took a deep breath. She could feel her heart starting to quicken immediately. _Shit_, how many years had she been harbouring those feelings for Alex? Her mind went back to their night together; to the glorious sensation of Alex's skin pressed against hers, the exploration of Alex's curves, feeling so close to her physically and emotionally. It felt like the bottom of her stomach dropped and released the butterflies, some of which settled southwards, between her legs.

"Kim?"

Shit, how long had she been daydreaming for? Kim tried to shake herself out of her glorious memories and turned back to Alex.

"Sorry, Ma'a-" she began but trailed off at the sight of Alex's chest on display. She drew in her breath quickly before she could stop herself and turned her head away slightly. "Sorry, Ma'am, I didn't mean to look…"

Alex shuffled uncomfortably.

"Kim, I think we're going to have a problem with you piercing my nipples if you don't look at them," she said and watched as Kim nervously turned back to her. Her lip wavered slightly as she tried not to take on Robin's bad habit of biting his lip.

"I'm sorry, I'm just… it's confusing… with us working together at the station… now I'm doing my other job… sometimes I forget where I am," she bluffed.

"I hope not," said Alex, you might start arresting customers and tattooing suspects." She looked at Kim seriously. "Kim… if this is too weird for you…"

"It's not," Kim said quickly, "honestly." She tried to pull herself together but her face just seemed to keep on getting hotter. "Jesus, I think I'm going to put the air conditioning on," she said.

"The what?" Alex frowned, "Kim, it's Christmas eve. There's a frost out there."

Kim cringed.

"I meant the heating," she said, "it's a cold night…"

"Can…" Alex began awkwardly, "can we just get on with it, Kim?" she asked, "before I lose my nerve."

"Right," Kim nodded, "sorry," she indicated the length of the couch. "Lie down here."

Alex pulled her legs up and turned herself around before stretching out along the couch.

"It's cold," she shuddered as she nestled her back against the black faux-leather.

"Sorry," Kim said quietly. She held up the clamp. "Now this part might be more uncomfortable than the actual piercing," she warned.

Alex closed her eyes tightly and braced herself as Kim fixed the clamp around her left nipple and she felt a firm pressure.

"Ouch," she said.

"You OK?"

Alex nodded, her eyes closed.

"Mmm-hmm," she said stiffly.

"Try to relax," Kim said gently.

Alex opened one eye and took a look at Kim's face. She seemed different now, past the awkwardness and full of confidence and concentration. It put Alex instantly at ease and she smiled a little.

"Yes, Ma'am," she teased.

Kim's eyes met Alex's for a moment and she gave a shy laugh.

"Oh, no, you can't call me that," she said, "that's too confusing."

"That was the point," Alex smiled.

"And it feels weird," said Kim.

"So does my nipple," Alex told her and Kim gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, you distracted me," she said. She took a pen and began to mark out the piercing points before reaching for the needle and the jewellery. "Alright, now I want you to take a deep breath in," she said and suddenly it was all very real. A surge of panic spread through Alex as she realised this was it; no going back, and before she knew it there was an instance of very sharp, burning pain which disappeared almost as soon as it started and changed into a dull throbbing. "Just putting the jewellery in now," Kim's voice was soft and soothing and it took Alex's mind away from any discomfort. "There. That's the first one."

Alex let out her breath and raised her head slightly. She could see a little metal glistening on her breast.

"That wasn't as bad as I was expecting," she admitted.

"I told you," Kim smiled, "ready for the second one?"

Alex nodded.

"Bring it on," she said triumphantly and Kim laughed.

"Let me get a fresh swab," she said and dipped out of sight for a moment, returning with another cooling antiseptic swab. Same as the other side, ma'am," she said as she began to sweep t across Alex's hardening nipple. She saw goosebumps appear over her skin. Sorry, it's a little cold."

"It's fine," Alex whispered. She knew full well that it wasn't the temperature that had set off the goosebumps on her skin. Her eyes flickered to Kim momentarily then away again as her face started to grow warm. She hated to admit it but as Kim cleaned her skin she couldn't help imagining that the gesture was for another reason. She could feel Kim's fingers gliding over her, picturing the blonde woman gazing at her, touching her, wanting her. "_Good god," _she mumbled under her breath before she could stop herself.

"What?"

Alex swallowed.

"Sorry, Kim. Nothing," she said as the clamp was placed over her again on the other side. She felt Kim marking out with the pen once again where the piercing would go and then heard her give the same instruction. Alex drew in her breath, braced herself and felt the same instant of pain as the needle travelled through her skin, then the relief as the jewellery took its place.

"They look amazing on you."

Kim's words were staggered and breathy and Alex hadn't been expecting that. She turned to Kim to see a smile bursting forth and a glow across her face.

"Do you really think so?" She whispered.

The smile on Kim's face and the eager nod were a little more than Alex had been expecting.

"_Oh_ yes," Kim breathed.

Alex blushed hard.

"Are you this enthusiastic with all your customers?" she asked and Kim bit her lip guilty.

"They just… they look really good," she whispered. She found her eyes raising to Alex's level. She knew that the moment she did that the truth would come out but she couldn't help it. She'd been doing her best to hold it back but that had gone on long enough. Her gazed fixed upon Alex's and before she could stop herself she whispered, "_I can't stop thinking about you."_

"What?" Alex's voice shook as her eyes widened and her heart started to quicken.

Instantly Kim regretted it. She knew that she shouldn't have said it and wished that she could take it back but it was too late now. She shook her head and stood up.

"Sorry," she whispered, "Sorry, Ma'am, I-I'm a bit over emotional, with Christmas and –"

"Kim, _stop_," Alex reached out and grasped the hem of her shirt, "don't walk away, don't even _think_ about walking away."

Kim froze and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

Kim's eyes opened again, far wider this time, and she turned back round.

"Pardon?"

Alex slowly pushed herself upright.

"I'm not sorry you said it," she whispered nervously. Her mouth was starting to become dry but she pressed on. "I'm glad that you did."

"I –" "Kim whispered, not even knowing where she was going with that sentence.

"I'm glad you did," Alex whispered again, "because I was too scared to be the one who said it first."

"What do you mean the one who said it first?" Kim could hardly speak, barely daring to believe what her instincts were telling her.

Alex slid from the table, her chest still bare. She felt a little self-conscious but it wasn't as though Kim hadn't seen it before.

"I've been waiting for this since the moment you made it over," she whispered.

Kim stared at her, scarcely daring to blink, barely daring to ask the question on the top of her tongue.

"For what?" she whispered.

Alex swallowed.

"I'm nervous, Kim," she whispered, "don't make me spell it out."

Kim swallowed.

"Y-you're not the only one," she whispered, but the look in Alex's eyes began to calm the anxious feelings that she had as she moved forward just a little. "What about Gene?" she whispered.

Alex bit her lip gently and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a rather tatty-looking plastic piece of mistletoe and held it out. Kim stared at it incredulously, then up at Alex. Her brow creased in confusion.

"Gene gave me this," Alex told her, "and told me to wish you a happy Christmas."

Kim stared at it, then up at Alex and finally back at the mistletoe again.

"It's… better than a wooden spoon," she said, bewildered.

"I don't think the mistletoe itself was supposed to be the present," Alex told her.

Kim's lips twisted into a smile.

"Oh," she said quietly. Feeling warm in the cheeks she shuffled a little closer and cleared her throat. "So –"

Alex hesitated, then gave a slow nod.

"As long as I pretend you're a spice girl then I apparently have permission to make full use of this mistletoe," she said. She swallowed and stared at Kim, surprised to find they were both trembling.

"I'm not going to get an angry Gene on my doorstep in the morning am I?" Kim asked worriedly, but quickly shook her head, "fuck it, I don't care, I'll just threaten to pierce a delicate place."

"That's the spirit," Alex teased, relieved to see Kim's personality back to the fore. She wasn't used to seeing her so nervous. She lifted the mistletoe up above their heads and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Kim," she said in a whisper.

As they leaned in together and their lips locked the nerves melted away and all that remained was a warmth and a closeness that had helped them through the hardest time of their lives and remained a constant between them. Kim no longer felt like that young girl with the crush on the beautiful older woman. She felt equal, valued ad loved.

As they moved apart they smiled at one another with the kind of warmth that melted the frost right away.

"Merry Christmas, Alex," whispered Kim.


	9. Nine Ladies Dancing

**Nine Ladies Dancing**

With the music sweeping them away Marci and Shaz danced and smiled. The time that passed by seemed to go so fast. Before they knew it Alex and Kim had disappeared while Robin and Jake whispered to one another at the bar. Taken by the Christmas spirit as well as the alcoholic ones Marci beamed and cooed to Shaz,

"_Everyone's_ getting it on tonight!"

She couldn't understand why Shaz's demeanour changed in an instant. Her expression dropped, her shoulders hunched and she stopped dancing. Almost as though the music didn't even matter any more she hung her head and swallowed.

"Not everyone," she said, her voice flat.

Marci froze, surprised by her change of tone. She looked at her and saw the darkness that had crept into her eyes confusing her momentarily. She bit her lip, she'd been holding back moving things on with Shaz because of the way the girl had freaked out at first. What was Shaz saying? That she _never_ wanted to move forward? Did she think that's what Marci was suggesting? If so the look on Shaz's face seemed to suggest that she was pretty damned horrified by the thought.

Marci looked away.

"No," she said quietly, "not everyone."

There was a silence between them filled only by the Spice Girls warbling away until Shaz said quietly,

"I'm going to the bathroom."

Marci swallowed again as she watched her walk away and her heart started to race with fear. Maybe she'd scared her away? Something was terribly wrong and if she lost Shaz she wasn't sure what she was going to do.

~xXx~

Simon shuffled awkwardly toward Robin and Jake at the bar and said,

"I think I'm going to head off now."

Robin looked at Simon a little sadly. He knew Simon hadn't exactly had the best of nights with all his friends happily paired up, not to mention 'cheating on each other in front of their faces' as he'd put it at one point. But at least Simon had made the effort, he hadn't expected to see him at the club that night at all, let alone with a new image going on.

"Sorry, Si, it's not really been fair on you," he said a little guiltily. He should have paid Simon more attention, he knew that.

"It's fine, it's just not my scene," Simon shrugged, "you know that."

"I'm glad you came though," Robin told him. "We'll see you tomorrow for Christmas lunch, yeah?"

"Yup," Simon nodded.

"Good," Robin smiled. He thought how strange the whole situation was; that just a year earlier he and Kim had been on the living side of the line, along with a stranded Alex. Within a year life had changed beyond all recognition. He held his arms out and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Simon," he said, happily attempting to envelope him in a hug but Simon yelped and jumped backwards, his hands clasped protectively round his chest.

"You can wish me a happy Christmas _without_ close physical contact you know!" he squeaked and Robin stared at him, a little hurt and extremely bewildered.

"What's the matter?" cried Robin, "I'm not allowed to hug you any more?"

Simon bit his lip a little guiltily.

"Just feeling a little bit… _delicate_… today," he coughed, "that's all."

Robin recalled Kim's distress earlier in the day and tried not to laugh.

"Well I hope you feel better in the morning," he said. He closed his eyes and smiled fondly. "Merry Christmas, Simon."

Despite his nipple-related trauma, Simon smiled back.

"Merry Christmas," he said. He gave a vague nod to Jake, turned and set off for home.

X

He'd been standing outside the club for two and a half hours.

He was frozen from head to toe, he could barely feel his fingers, his breath made swirling patterns in the sky and his glasses had developed a layer of frost by the time he watched Simon leaving.

There was a moment of movement, an instance of purpose as he strode forward but he stopped as soon as he started, watching Simon disappear into the distance instead. He grimaced, holding the sides of his head as a pain developed above how right eye.

"I can't," he muttered to himself, "I just –"

He gave an angry growl and stomped away, furious with his own reaction. He'd spent all day pacing and was no clearer in his own mind to knowing what he wanted but he couldn't seem to leave Simon alone. Shouldn't that have given him a clue?

~xXx~

"Another one?" Robin asked, nodding at the empty bottle in Jake's hand.

Jake glanced at his watch. It was still fairly early.

"Why not? Thanks," he said, smiling. He found himself biting his lip as he smiled. Damnit, the habit was spreading. He started to grin as he watched Robin walk to the bar. The day had certainly been full of surprises. He was about to have another one but unfortunately it wasn't a pleasant one this time as a slightly tearful Marci arrived by his side, looking at him with teary eyes.

"Jake," she said quietly.

Jake looked at her in worry and shock.

"Marci? What's happened?"

"Nothing yet," Marci said quietly, "but I think it's about to." She looked down, "I think Shaz is going to break up with me."

"What?" Jake frowned. They'd seemed as happy as anything dancing together a few minutes ago, "why?"

"She doesn't want to move to the next level, Jake," Marci whispered, "I mentioned everyone hooking up and she went all funny and pointed out that not everyone wanted to."

"Are you sure?"

"That's what she said!"

Jake hesitated and frowned. That didn't sound like Shaz. Even though she'd had a freak out at first it had been clear to see how keen on Marci Shaz had become. She'd shown no signs of wanting to hold back. In fact he'd seen disappointment cross her face more than once when Marci had said goodnight and gone home alone.

"I think you need to talk to her," Jake told Marci, "I think you've got it wrong."

"I don't think so, "Marci shook her head despondently, "she thought I was making advances and now she wants nothing to do with me."

"That's a pretty big leap to take!"

"She stormed off to the toilet!"

"Maybe she just needed a _piss!"_

Marci closed her eyes and shook her head.

"You didn't see her face Jake," she said despondently. Jake still wasn't sure that what Marci was telling him rang true but she looked so sad and certain that he didn't know what to say. Eventually he decided the safest plan of action was to hug her and hope that she was wrong.

"Just talk to her, OK?" he told her, "You might have misunderstood. And if not then maybe you two can work this through, OK?"

Marci nodded but didn't look up at him.

"OK," she said quietly. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shaz returning from the toilets and felt a sinking inside of her. She swallowed and drew breath, "I suppose I should get this over with," she said quietly.

Every step she took towards Shaz felt as though she had a heavy rock strapped to her leg. Her heart felt about the same. She'd never felt so sad, so disappointed, so heartbroken before. She tried to smile as she reached the girl but Shaz wouldn't catch her eye.

"I think I'm going to go home," she said quietly and Marci bit her lip. Shaz hadn't even called her 'babe'.

"OK," she said quietly. As she took another breath a sudden tumble of words spewed from her lips. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other any more."

Shaz froze up. She turned slowly to Marci and looked at her stricken expression. She seemed shocked that she'd spoken.

"OK," she said quietly.

Marci swallowed. She stared at Marci, the word stinging her heart but she'd almost expected it. She could feel the tears starting to well in her eyes as she realised that it really was over between them, almost before it had begun.

"That's it, is it?" she asked quietly. Shaz looked at her, slightly shocked, "that's the end? That's all you can say? You're not even going to fight for me?"

"You were the one who just said it was over," Shaz said coolly.

"Only because I knew that was how you felt," Marci swallowed, trying to keep her emotions in check, "and now I know."

"You know?" Shaz repeated, her brow creased in anger and confusion, "what do you now 'know'?" she shook her head and took a step back, "you don't know anything if you think I was the one wanted to end things! You've been pushing me away for _weeks!"_

"What? Don't turn this round on me!" Marci said angrily.

"You were the one who said you wanted to call it off!"

"Only because I can't be in a relationship that's not going anywhere any longer!"

"Maybe we would be going somewhere if you didn't keep pushing me away!"

"When have I ever done that?"

"_All the time!_ Every night!" Shaz began to feel angry, "every time you come back to mine you sleep on the bloody sofa!"

Marci stared at her. She couldn't work out what he was trying to hell her.

"I don't get it," she said.

"What's there to get?" Shaz cried, "every time I ask you back to mine you sleep on the couch, even when I didn't give you blankets! You went and got your own!"

"Well I knew where you kept them by then," Marci didn't know what Shaz was trying to say.

"I wanted you to sleep in my _bed!"_ Shaz cried.

Marci fell silent. She shared at Shaz and tried to work out what the hell to say.

"Excuse me?"

"Every time I try to get closer to you you back away!"

"_You_ were the one who pointed out not everyone was going to be bonking tonight!" Marci cried.

"I meant that you didn't want to!"

"But I do!"

"Then why did you never tell me?"

"Why didn't _you_ tell _me?"_

"You kept pushing me away!"

"Because I was scared of you flipping out again!"

Shaz felt a dark sadness creeping across her shoulders. She coughed and looked at Marci.

"Is this still about the day the princess died?" she asked, "Princess Diana?" she closed her eyes and shook her head, "No, no Marci… Marci," she took her hands and looked her in the eye, "that was a long time ago… and I know things were a bit weird between us afterwards but I thought we worked through that."

"Yeah… we did."

"Then what are we even having this conversation?"

Marci hesitated. She didn't know, she really didn't. She stared at Shaz, trying not to bite her lip.

"You wanted to?" she asked quietly.

Shaz nodded.

"Yeah, I did," she said, "did you?"

"Oh yes," Marci was torn between feeling guilty, embarrassed and relieved. Ashe threw her head back momentarily and gave a laugh even though she didn't find it funny. She wished that she had never said anything. Or that she'd said something very different. She wished she'd talked to Shaz in the first place. What if it was too late? What if she'd ruined it? She looked back at Shaz, somewhat coyly. "Shaz?" she said quietly, "have I ruined this?"

Shaz looked back at her, shaking her head slowly. She closed her eyes for a second.

"No," she whispered, "of course you haven't."

Marci hung her head a little.

"I've really fucked things up."

"No you haven't," Shaz told her, "we've both been stupid… we forgot to talk, I think."

"I thought I wasn't good enough for you."

"Babe, you're better for me than anyone," Shaz looked at Marci's expression and realised for the first time that she'd been suffering for weeks. She'd been trying her best not to freak Shaz out but she'd been feeling lower and lower in the process. They'd both been as bad was one another though. Shaz had felt that Marci was pushing her away. They were both feeling stressed and hurt. It was going to take a little while to get over it. But Shaz knew the best place to start. She stared into Marci's eyes, so deep and dark. She looked at her inviting lips that curled slowly into a smile. "How could I _not_ love you?"

Marci stared right back at her, Shaz's expression doing as much to soothe her fears as all the words in the world.

"Really?"

Shaz decided to dispense with words completely, putting her lips to a different use. She kissed Marci deeply, bringing her closer with a hand around the back of her head. As she pulled away she looked her in the eye with a devilish smile. "So," she whispered, "where are you spending the rest of Christmas eve?"

"I hadn't thought past last orders at the bar," Marci told her.

"How about my flat?" Shaz suggested, and just to clarify she added, "My bed?"

Marci hesitated

"I thought you'd be going to midnight mass after the club," she pointed out and Shaz felt a passing sadness. She closed her eyes as she recalled her transportation to the Pub, Alex's exposition and the truth about the world.

"I don't really have the same faith I did once," She said softly. As she looked at Marci she felt a gnawing in her chest, realising that the beautiful young woman standing before her wasn't even from this place. She wasn't even _alive_. Her body lay in the ground, slowly rotting away to nothing. But the woman standing right there – her passionate eyes, her flickering smile – Shaz had never seen anyone who looked more alive.

Wherever Marci had come from, whatever her purpose in the world she had a new life now, a new chance at happiness. And she has given _Shaz_ a new chance at happiness too, something she didn't think that she would have after Kim's 'death'.

"I know what _I _believe in," Marci whispered.

Shaz could only smile back.

"I believe in us too," she whispered.

She clasped Marci's hand very tightly. Then she led her swiftly from the club. Her family had always let her open one present on Christmas eve. She knew what she was going to unwrap this year.


	10. Ten Lords a-Leaping

**Ten Lords a-Leaping**

"Merry Christmas, Bolly."

Alex's eyes opened slowly. She could feel the cold air on her shoulder where the duvet had slipped and smell Gene's aftershave looming close to her. Slowly his face came into view, a dusting of stubble across his chin and his chest on display.

"I don't remember unwrapping you," she mumbled, gradually waking up.

"Had to unwrap meself, state of _you_ when you rolled in last night," Gene told her but Alex rolled her eyes.

"How would you know, you were already asleep," she pointed out and Gene looked slightly annoyed.

"I wore meself out wrapping spoons," he told her, "and anyway, I was just having a guess." He shuffled back as Alex rolled over to face him properly and propped herself up on her elbow. "So you survived the twelve gays of Christmas then?"

"If you have to put it like that," Alex sighed, rolling her eyes again.

"You not been welded to her metal highness then?" Gene asked, somewhat disgruntled.

"_You_ gave me the mistletoe," Alex reminded him in a slightly sing-song voice.

"Don't suppose you ran into a Spice Girl or two in that club did you?" Gene asked hopefully.

"Only _Nicey-Spice_," Alex sighed. She waited for the rest of Gene's probing. It had to come. Sure enough after a pulling the face of someone who'd been dining on lemons all day Gene finally asked,

"So what's it like? Giving lip service to a robot?"

Alex wasn't going to rise to it.

"I give it ten out of ten," she told him.

"She hasn't rusted over then?" Gene asked.

"_No_," Alex sighed.

"And you made it back without lumps of metal shoved through every limb?"

Alex froze. She bit her lip and eyes Gene a little guiltily.

"S-sort of," she said.

Gene frowned at her.

"She's pierced yer arse, hasn't she?" he said, "I don't believe this, wasn't me prodigal son enough? I don't need _more_ pierced derrieres in the vicinity!"

"She did not pierce my arse!" Alex cried indignantly, "I'm not even sure if that's possible!"

"Shoebury's sure."

Alex found herself blushing.

"Yes, well," she said awkwardly, "Simon seems to be growing more fond of the needle."

"He hasn't got a Prince Albert, has he?!" Gene cried in horror and Alex closed her eyes.

"Not as far as I'm aware," she sighed.

Gene hesitated as he looked at her slightly guilty expression.

"I wasn't asking about Shoebury's metal anyway," he recalled, "What's she pierced? Can't see a nose ring so I don't have to drag you to market with a rope through yer conk."

"_Gene!"_

"So where is it?"

Alex felt herself pulling her silk pyjama top across her chest a little closer.

"Erm," she began, "maybe you should ask where _they_ are.'"

Gene looked at her guilty expression. Then his eyes dropped to her chest. He could see something slightly unusual.

"Yer nipples don't look the right shape," he mumbled, slightly tripping over his tongue.

"Erm," Alex blushed.

"Better get them out, Bols," Gene told her, "Need to inspect the handiwork."

Chewing slightly nervously on the side of her tongue, Alex sat upright and very slowly began to unfasten her pyjamas, from the bottom button upwards until it fell away and slipped down her arms. Gene's eyes fixed upon her bare chest; the new silver bars through her nipples catching the light as she gave a little involuntary wriggle to show off her new piercings.

"Well?" she asked, somewhere between nervously and boastfully. She looked down to her own body, still not used to her new additions.

Gene spluttered slightly.

"Well," he repeated.

Alex watched his expression.

"Do you like them or…?"

Gene coughed.

"I think I could learn to navigate them," he told her.

"Well that's good to know," Alex told him. She absently reached up and brushed a finger across one of her piercings. It was a little tender but not bad at all. "So do you…" she bit her lip, "fancy taking them on their maiden voyage?"

Gene considered for all of two seconds.

"I'll get the ruddy map," he told her and dived in to explore the new terrain.

~xXx~

"_Morning."_

Kim shuffled a little and muttered into her pillow as Robin's voice gently woke her.

"Hmm?" she mumbled, opening her eyes.

"Happy Christmas."

Kim looked up and found Robin climbing into bed, a tray in his hands. The smell of food roused her senses and suddenly she was wide awake.

"Merry Christmas," she said, rubbing her eyes and hauling herself up.

"Breakfast in bed," Robin told her, placing the tray on her lap, "I thought you could do with something substantial after last night."

"How would you even know about last night when you got in two hours after me, sang a song about feet and passed out in the kitchen?" Kim asked, one eyebrow rising.

Robin looked somewhat guilty.

"Yeah… we might have gotten onto shots at one point," he said.

"You seem to be managing your hangover alright," Kim pointed out and Robin rubbed his forehead.

"I've been up for an hour making breakfast," he admitted awkwardly, "plenty of time for the alka seltzer to start working.

"Ahh, I see," Kim smiled.

Robin collected his own tray from the floor and climbed back into bed. He turned to Kim and leaned forward, kissing her with a smile. He felt a strange tingle through his body as he thought about the fact that he and Kim were actually together for Christmas. So many times it had seemed like this would never happen. He was going to appreciate every last second.

"How's your head?" he asked, skimming her forehead briefly with his fingers.

"_I'm_ fine," Kim told him, "We didn't have very much to drink."

"Had other things on your mind?" Robin asked cheekily and Kim looked down, smiling and blushing. "What's happening to your face?" he asked, somewhat accusingly, "it's not… it _can't_ be… can Kim Stringer be going _shy?!"_

"Not if you want me to leave al your limbs intact," Kim told him sweetly and Robin pulled a face.

"Alright," he said, "so… Alex then."

Kim narrowed her eyes.

"What about her.?"

"Scores out of ten?"

"_You_ should know," Kim pointed out and Robin cringed.

"Am I never living that down?" he groaned.

"No."

Robin's cringe turned into a little smile.

"You wound me up about Jake, I'm just getting you back," he said.

"How about waiting until after breakfast?" Kim suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Robin agreed.

Kim smiled to herself as she turned to the grand breakfast before her and sipped her coffee. She felt so warm, so contented, so loved. The year had been the worst of her life, so incredibly hard. She wasn't over the traumas that she'd survived but her mind had pulled down the shutters on them, for a day at least. She smiled at the man beside her, never for a moment taking for granted that they were back together. Despite the difficult December and the terrible year she was going to make the most of every moment of their Christmas day.

~xXx~

Shaz smiled as she watched Marci's hair tumble over her shoulder while she stirred. She ran her fingers lightly along the dark curls that tumbled across the pillow before her and saw her slowly open her eyes. There had been no time for taking off make-up the night before so smears of black and green gathered around her eyes. Regardless, the waking Marci was the most beautiful sight Shaz had ever seen.

"_Good morning,"_ she smiled.

Marci's face slowly cracked into a smile in return.

"Morning, you," she said. She started to prop herself up on her elbow to match Shaz's position and smiled, "how long have you been looking at me like that?" she accused.

"Only ten minutes," Shaz smiled.

"I'm not breakfast TV you know," Marci told her but she was smiling too.

"Shame," said Shaz, "I'd quite like to wake up to you every morning." She saw Marci grinning, a little embarrassed by the comment. "Aw, don't tell me you're shy," Shaz taunted then squealed as Marci grasped her wrists and turned her around, throwing her back against the pillows as she pinned her down and beamed.

"Not so shy now," she said, closing her eyes and lowering her lips onto Shaz's for a kiss. She opened them again and looked at the trapped, giggling woman beneath her. "Merry Christmas, Shazza."

Shaz smiled with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Mary Christmas, Marci," she said happily.

As Marci decided to release her suspect they snuggled up together and pulled the duvet around them.

"It's bloody cold in your flat today," Marci complained.

"Must have forgotten to turn the heating on last night," said Shaz, "I'll go and do it now."

"No you won't," Marci grabbed Shaz before she could leave, resulting in another round of giggles. The two girls smiled at one another and Shaz brushed a curl from Marci's face.

"Are you spending the day with family?" she asked and to her surprise Marci's face fell a little.

"Nah," she said quietly, "haven't got any around here any more."

Shaz looked a little nervous.

"Sorry Marci," she said quietly. She wondered if she'd put her foot in it, "You never talk about them… I didn't know."

Marci shrugged a little, looking away.

"Well my parents are gone," she said bluntly, "one's dead, the other might as well be."

Shaz's brow creased up.

"God," she said quietly, "sorry."

"My brother doesn't live near here," Marci found herself playing with the corner of the duvet as a distraction, "and we don't exactly speak anyway."

"Sorry," Shaz said again.

"I usually spend days like this with Jake," she said, "I'll be going round at lunch. Get all the gossip from yesterday," she finally broke back into a grin with Shaz copying her expression.

"Make sure you share all the gory details," she said.

"Oh, I will," Marci reassured her. She nuzzled against Shaz's chest and closed her eyes. "I wish I could spend the day with you," she pouted.

Shaz sighed deeply.

"Wish I could spend it with _you_, babe," she said.

Marci looked up.

"We could, you know," she said, "you could come with me to Jake's. We'll have a ton of food, a box of crackers –"

Shaz gave a slightly disappointed smile.

"I wish I could," she said, "but I go to my mum's every Christmas. Can't wait for it, babe. Slap up lunch."

"Yeah, you probably wouldn't want to be there at Jake's for that," Marci wrinkled up her nose, "not after the chicken disaster."

Shaz recalled the day of the disastrous roast and cringed.

"I haven't looked at a chicken since," she stated.

"Makes two of us," Marci groaned. She sighed deeply. "Still wish you could come though."

"Me too," Shaz shuffled out from beneath Marci. "How about boxing day?" she asked, "are you going anywhere tomorrow?"

"Only as far as the lounge, with my duvet and a bunch of videos," said Marci.

"Make that a double duvet," Shaz smiled, "I'll even bring wine."

"Best offer I've had," Marci told her.

Shaz grinned, but gave a little shiver as the cold air started to get to her.

"I've _got_ to put the central heating on," she said, "Sorry Marci." She climbed out of bed, her shiny blouse undone and hanging loosely from her shoulders.

"_Noooooo,"_ Marci whined.

"I won't be long," Shaz told her, bending over to pick up her underwear and mooning at Marci.

"Cheeky cow," Marci squealed, brushing a hand across her cheeks. Shaz giggled as she pulled on her knickers and trotted from the room, wiggling her backside provocatively to make Marci laugh. "Wait until you get back in bed, missus," she warned, "better call your mum and tell her you'll be late for dinner!"

But a few moments later Shaz returned looking somewhat disgruntled.

"No need, babe," she sighed as she climbed back on bed, "I had a message on my answerphone. Mum's got the flu, dinner's off."

Marci's face fell at the sight of Shaz's disappointment.

"Oh no," she sighed, "Shaz, I'm sorry."

Shaz slipped back into bed and cuddled up to Marci before cringing.

"_And_ I forgot the bloody central heating,"

"Doesn't matter, I'll keep you warm," Marci told her.

"You were the one complaining!"

"_You_ can keep _me_ warm then!"

The two of them fell silent as they snuggled, warmed one another and contemplated the day. Shaz felt a deep sadness inside of her.

"I don't know what to do now," she said, "I _always_ go to my mum for Christmas. It doesn't feel right now." She closed her eyes. "what else am I going to do?"

Marci ran her fingers through Shaz's dark brown bob and looked at her.

"You could still come with me to Jake's?" she said. "I know it doesn't make up for missing out on seeing your family but it'll be fun and at least you won't be left with nowhere to go," she moved back a little and smiled, "besides, I'll get to spend the day with you."

"Wouldn't Jake mind?" Shaz asked, feeling like she was intruding but Marci shook her head.

"It's not like we make a big deal of it," Marci told her, "besides, ever since the day we joined Fenchurch East we've lived in each other's pockets, it would feel weirder if you _weren't_ there." She saw Shaz giving a more excitable smile but she still seemed a little nervous. "Give me your phone, I'll call him and see."

Shaz hesitated, just for a second, then leapt out of bed and ran for the cordless. She brought it back to bed and dived under the covers.

"I put the heating on this time," she said as she snuggled back into Marci while she tapped out a number on the phone. As she waited for Jake to answer the call she looked at her girlfriend and smiled. It had been a difficult year and one of many changes but now she felt happy and content. A little love went a long way.

~xXx~

Jake mumbled a few things into his pillow and awoke with a giant snort. His first thought was that someone was attacking him with a pneumatic drill. Then he realised the phone was ringing at the same time as his hangover started to kick off. He groaned and slowly sat up, rubbing his forehead. Shit, he rarely even drank that much with Marci. Being with Robin wasn't going to be good for his head.

"Or my wallet," he mumbled, trying to work out how many shots he'd bought. When he worked out how to focus enough to find his phone he reached put and grabbed it before it had a chance to ring out. Bringing it to his ear, he yawned a little. "Hello?"

"Jake, it's me," Marci sounded far too bright for that time in the morning.

"Hello, me," Jake mumbled.

"Blimey, you sound rough."

Jake cringed a little.

"You're always the voice of tact, Marci," he groaned.

"Sorry."

Jake tried to work out what was happening.

"What are you ringing so early for?" he asked, "I thought you weren't coming until lunchtime."

"I'm not," Marci confirmed, "I've got a favour to ask. We both have.

"Both?" Jake paused and then raised an eyebrow, despite setting off a thunderous wave of pain in his head. "Ahhhh, this would be you and Shaz?" he asked, "you're not bailing on me, are you? Not off to meet the parents already?"

"No, more like the opposite," he heard Marci sigh, "Poor Shaz, her Christmas dinner is cancelled. Her mum's got the flu."

"Oh dear."

"So I don't suppose –"

"You want her to come round here?" Jake hesitated, "I'm not sure she'll want to, after the last time I cooked for you both."

"I suffer it every year and I'm still alive," Marci teased.

Jake rubbed his temples. It was too early and too painful to think about this.

"I'm not sure the food will go round," he said.

"I'll bring extra," Marci offered.

Jake rubbed his eye and sighed. It wasn't as though Christmas was particularly special to him, the extra company wouldn't go amiss but he wasn't sure Shaz would be satisfied with the pseudo-Christmas dinner he and Marci prepared every year. Still, if she had nowhere else to go –

"Sure," he said eventually, "as long as she understands that I am going to spoil the ending of any films we watch."

"You always _do_," he could almost hear Marci smiling on the line and he gave a gentle laugh.

"Alright," he said, "I'll see you both later. Mind coming closer to one than twelve?"

"Sure, shy?"

Jake groaned.

"I need time to stick the shards of my skull back together."

He heard Marci giggle.

"Good night then?"

"From what I can remember."

Marci laughed again.

"I'll leave you to raid the alka seltzer then." She said, "see you later, Jake."

"Bye, Marci," he said and ended the call with a sigh. He sat in bed for a moment, the throbbing of his head distracting him from the festive nature if the day. His eyes were fixed on the phone as he thought about his family, what was left of it, far away. He always felt as though he went through the motions with no real reason or feeling behind it. It was a duty that had to be performed, just like he had to wash his clothes or do the shopping. Sighing, he switched the phone back on and pressed one of the memory pre-sets. It rang several times before a voice answered.

"Hi Ros, is dad there?" He paused and listened, his face falling as he did so. "Oh. OK." He swallowed and stared at the pattern on the duvet. "Bit early isn't it? …Oh, I see. Well I hope he has a good time." He sighed. "Tell him I called to wish him a merry Christmas." He hesitated as his step mother began to speak. "What? …Yeah, Marci's coming. Yeah, we'll try not to, I'm still suffering from last night." He gave a half-hearted smile and a laugh as she spoke again. "Yeah. Not too bad. …Pardon? Oh, yeah, I _have_ actually," finally his smile was genuine, "his name's Robin. …No, I haven't made him up! Cheek of it!" He laughed again but it was tinged with sadness. "OK. OK, Ros. Don't forget to tell him I called. …Thanks. Same to you."

He stared at the duvet as he ended the call and swallowed. Another well-meant moment that came to nothing. It had never really felt as though he'd had a family. Although as he looked at the collage of photographs of himself and Marci through the years that hung on his wall a little of his smile returned. Family was about more than genes. Sometimes it was more about the people in your heart than the blood that ran through it.


	11. Eleven Pipers Piping

**Eleven Pipers Piping**

"I should go and pre-heat the oven."

"Nope."

"Simon will be here soon and I haven't even made a start."

"Nope."

"Can you move please?"

"Nope."

Robin tried to prise Kim's head from his chest but despite all his hours of gym attendance he barely made her budge an inch. He supposed muscle was no match for a bloody-minded Kim turning herself deadweight.

"Ugh! I can't _breathe_ now!" He told her, desperately trying to shovel her away from him as she giggled. He finally pushed her onto the couch and scrambled out from underneath her.

"Shit," she cursed.

"You're far too good at playing dead, do you know that?" Robin accused.

"You wait, if you leave me to go in that kitchen I'll come back and find I'm a zombie!" Kim warned as he reluctantly left the rom.

While she listened to the sound of pots and pans clanking in the kitchen Kim took a moment to look around the room. She felt a little shiver travel down her spine as she remembered the last time she'd spend Christmas in that flat, back when it had belonged to Alex and Gene. It felt surreal to be back there, tree in the corner, in a place that was so familiar and yet still felt strange to be her home.

She pulled up her knees to her chest and rocked a little. It was cold now that Robin had left her for a turkey. In fact, the room felt pretty cold full stop.

"Rob" she called out, "Hey, Rob, can you see if the heating is still on?"

But Robin didn't reply at first and when he appeared in the doorway a few moments later he looked extremely frazzled.

"The oven's not working," he said, almost accusingly.

"Pardon?" Kim frowned.

"It won't heat up," Robin told her, "It looks like there's no gas coming out of it."

"Have you tried the hobs?"

"Yup. Same thing."

Kim hesitated, biting her lip.

"Rob… does it feel cold to you in here?" she asked eventually.

Robin hadn't really noticed, but then he'd gone from enforced snuggles to non-working oven fury and he supposed he didn't have time to think about it.

"It kind of does, a little bit," he said with a frown. They stared at one another, then both started sniffing.

"I can't _smell_ any gas," Kim told him.

"Maybe that's because there is no gas to smell," Robin said mysteriously.

"Don't start with the beans or that could go in reverse," Kim warned him but Robin shook his head.

"Shit, Kim, I think the gas is off," he started to look fairly anxious.

"There are _other_ ways to keep warm," Kim told him but that wasn't the most important thing on Robin's mind.

"I can't cook a turkey on your chest," he pointed out, "there's no way to cook the Christmas dinner!"

Kim froze. She hadn't thought of that.

"_What?"_ she whispered, paling visibly.

"There's no way to cook it if the gas isn't working," Robin told her and Kim gulped.

_"Fuck!"_

"_I know!"_

"But… but the _turkey!"_ Kim whispered.

"I know."

"The _spuds!"_

"I know, Kim, I know."

Kim's eyes were wide and horrified.

"No dinner?" she whispered, a hand rising to her mouth in a gasp of shock.

"Let's call the gas board and see if they can send someone," Robin told her.

"But… the _dinner?"_ Kim seemed to have gone into a state of shock.

"We'll see what they say first."

Kim couldn't describe how much she had been looking forward to Christmas dinner. Not only had she been dying for Robin's cooking after a couple of busy days that had meant takeaways and snacks took priority but after the previous year's stressful offerings she couldn't wait for a Christmas lunch that was uncomplicated and set in one time zone alone.

Watched nervously as Robin found the phone book and called the gas board, she swore her stomach started rumbling just to spite her._ Ha ha, no Christmas dinner for you. _She thought she could heart the turkey laughing from inside the fridge as well.

"I'm hallucinating with hunger," she mumbled as she watched Robin wait on the line and then put down the phone without saying a word. "What's going on?" she asked.

"There was a recorded message," Robin told her, "a water main burst. Frozen pipes. It took out a gas main too. It could be off all day."

"_Shit!"_ Kim clasped both hands over her mouth, "What are we going to do?"

Before they could even work out a plan of action there came a hammering on the door.

"Oh _god_, that'll be Simon," sighed Robin, "he's early."

"What are we going to tell him? We promised him lunch!"

"We'll just have to tell him the truth," Robin sighed as they walked through to the doorway and opened it to find a bedraggled, shivering Simon standing outside with an icicle hanging from his left nostril. "_Simon!_ Oh my _god!"_

"Simon, what _happened?"_ Kim cried.

A frozen Shoebury stared back at them, teeth chattering.

"_I'm so cold,"_ he wept.

"For god's sake, get _in!" _Robin hustled him past, "before you turn into a giant icicle."

Simon shivered his way inside.

"_Get me to a radiator,"_ He begged and Kim and Robin glanced at one another.

"I don't think that'll help," Kim told him.

"A water pipe blew -" Robin began.

_"Yeah,"_ Simon cried, "and who do you think was walking past it when it _exploded?!"_

"Oh _shit_, Si, that's _awful!"_ Robin cried as Kim slapped her hands to her lips to stop an explosive giggle escaping,

"That's terrible," she said, trying not to smirk.

"It's not funny!" Simon cried.

"No, not at all," Kim tried very hard not to laugh but it wasn't easy.

"Look, the lounge is still fairly warm," Robin told him, "come through and get those wet things off. We'll dry you out."

"I'm not taking my shirt off!" Simon cried on alarm.

"You can't stay in that all day!"

"I don't have anything to change into!"

"I'll lend you a shirt, you'll be fine. I'll get you a towel."

"You're not looking at my chest!"

"it's not like I haven't seen it before!" Robin cried, a little hurt.

"Not _all_ of it, you haven't," Simon mumbled and this time Kim couldn't restrain herself. Her laughter exploded with the same ferocity as the water pipe, echoing around the flat as she saw the horrified look on Simon's face.

"For god's _sake_, why did you even ask me to _do_ them if you don't want anyone to _see_ them?!" she cried.

"_I don't know what you're talking about!"_ Simon cried indignantly, an arm held protectively around his chest.

"Come on Si, the jig is up," Robin sighed, "I came home yesterday to find Kim deeply distressed, with her piercing kit all over the lounge and then experienced your sudden aversion to hugging in the club last night. I know you're packing metal."

The colour of Simon's face turned from icy blue to red.

"I seem to be warming up," he mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Oh, _Simon,"_ Kim sighed. She toned down her laughter and looked at her poor, bedraggled friend. "It's not your day, is it?"

"_Bah humbug,"_ Simon shivered.

"Rob, sit him by what's left of the heat," Kim told him, "I'll be right back."

"What are you going to do?" Robin asked her.

"Something drastic," was all Kim would say.

Robin shrugged to Simon as she left.

"Come on, Si," he said, leading him across to the cooling radiator. He sat Simon in front of it and looked at him sadly. "I don't know what to say, Simon… dinner's off."

Simon stared at him.

"You're joking?"

Robin shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he said sadly, "no gas, no oven."

"_Shit,"_ Simon closed his eyes. "some Christmas this is going to be."

"Got it," Kim arrived at the door, rather reluctantly holding a large woollen item.

"My _jumper!"_ Simon gasped, "I thought I lost that!"

"You left it here yesterday," Kim told him as he grabbed it in delight, "I was going to burn it…" she turned to Robin, "it was gonna be your christmas present."

Robin's heart melted.

"Aw, thank you," he said gratefully

"_Hey!"_ Simon scowled.

"But you might as well have it," Kim told him.

Simon was glad that it survived the Kimpocalypse at least.

"Thanks," he said.

"I'll lend you some trousers," Robin told him, getting back up from the floor as Kim joined Simon by the radiator.

"Thanks, Rob," Simon said, just starting to thaw out a little. He shook some of the water from his hair and looked at Kim. "So much for Christmas, huh?

"Wouldn't be the first time a Christmas has gone awry," Kim pointed out.

"No," Simon gave a wistful smile.

"Not that it was altogether a bad thing," Kim reminded him.

"No, it wasn't," Simon nodded and smiled again. He looked her in the eye, "I don't think Gene and Alex ever forgave us for that."

"Well it serves Gene right for giving us stuff from Alex's cutlery drawer," Kim pointed out.

"It _was_ great though," Simon nodded and Kim tried not to grin.

"Funny," she said quietly, "I once described it to Alex as the _worst Christmas ever,_ but it wasn't. It was pretty much the opposite. We had everything. Booze, food, decorations," she smiled, "_friends."_

Simon smiled back and nodded. Then simultaneously his and Kim's expressions began to change as their eyes widened.

"Kim –"

"We couldn't."

They hesitated.,

"Couldn't we?

Kim bit her lip.

"_Could_ we?"

A sly smile began to grow on both their faces.

"It really _was_ the best Christmas ever," Simon pointed out.

"I've rarely seen a better one," Kim added.

"And they say you should spend Christmas with family," Simon pointed out, "and Gene is. Sort of."

Kim tried to suppress the growing smile as she thought about it.

"And you _did_ say you thought of me like a little sister,," she reminded him.

"Not so little now, you're the bloody same age as me."

"Shush now."

They exchanged an evil smile. The thought wasn't going to disappear.

"Let's do it."

"For old time's sake."

"We have to."

"It's the descent thing to do."

"What is?"

Kim and Simon turned around as Robin entered the room, a pair of trousers draped over one arm. They stared at him with matching grins that made him slightly scared. "Uh, what have I missed?"

"Slight change of venue, Rob," Kim told him with a smile.

"Grab your turkey and all the booze in this flat," Simon told him.

"Uh, why?" Robin asked anxiously.

Kim grinned.

"You'll see," she said, "…how are you at carol singing?!"

~xXx~

Jake felt somewhat frustrated as he opened the door.

"_Merry Christmas,"_ Shaz and Marci chanted with a smile.

"Not so merry," Jake said despondently.

"Why?" Shaz frowned.

"He's suffering," Marci nudged her with a grin.

"No I'm not," Jake said, embarrassed, "well… I _am_…" he clung to his forehead, "but that's not it. It's the gas."

"Ugh, take some more alka seltzer!" Marci held her nose.

"Not _that_ kind of gas!" Jake's face started burning up.

"What are you talking about then?"

"The gas for cooking," Jake explained, "there's been a broken pipe or something, I heard it on the radio and now the gas isn't on and the oven isn't working!"

Shaz and Marci looked at one another then back at Jake as the meaning of the fact began to sink in.

"No oven, no dinner?" Marci asked.

"No dinner."

"_Shit."_

"How can anyone have two Christmas dinners cancelled in one day?" Shaz groaned.

"It gets worse, there's no heating," Jake told them.

"We're going to go hungry _and_ cold?" Marci groaned.

"Why can't we go to yours?" Shaz asked.

"My oven's not big enough for a turkey," Marci said sadly.

"And your gas is probably off as well," Jake told her.

"Are you sure?"

"Radio said the whole area was out."

"So what do we _do_ then?"

"I don't know," Jake sighed.

"Oh, this is going to be the worst Christmas ever!" Marci complained.

"Babe, we'll work something out," Shaz told her, "I'm sure we can."

"But if the gas is off everyone's going to be cold and hungry!"

"Even the worst Christmases deserve a Christmas miracle," Shaz told her, "Kim once told me that she was going to have a terrible Christmas so she gate-crashed someone else's and it was the best Christmas ever."

"You're kidding?" Jake frowned, slightly amused.

"She said DCI Shoebury was there too."

"Whose did they gate-crash?"

"It was the Guv's."

"_Really?"_ Marci cried, "He let them _in?"_

"He had a weak moment," Shaz shrugged as Jake and Marci both giggled at the thought.

"You _are_ joking, right?"

"No!" Shaz shook her head with a smile. "They tried to serenade them. Their singing was so bad he gave in to make them shut up!"

"_Nice,"_ Marci nodded in approval. She paused and gave a frown. "Wait a minute."

Jake hesitated.

"What?"

"Where do they live?" Marci asked, "The Guv and Ma'am?"

Jake pursed his lips.

"Why?"

"They moved a little way away, right?" Marci asked.

"I think so."

"Far enough that they could be supplied by a different gas pipe?"

Jake stared at her.

"You can't be suggesting what I think you're suggesting."

Shaz took one look at Marci's expression and started to grin.

"I think she is."

"No."

"Yes."

"We _can't!"_

_"They_ did!"

"We're not them! We'd never get in!" Jake cleared his throat, "I belong to a choir!"

"Then leave the singing to us," beamed Marci.

Jake hesitated.

"We can't," he said, but he was smiling. "We can."

Marci beamed.

"That's the spirit!"

~xXx~

"Which window is it?"

"That one."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because Gene was moaning on about 'poxy pink curtains'."

"Those aren't pink, they're peach."

"What's the difference?"

"One of them's been snogging an orange."

"Does it even matter?"

"We need to sing to the right one!"

"Make enough noise and they'll hear anyway!"

"Can we just get on with it? This turkey is fucking freezing!"

"So put it down then!"

Robin hesitated, pissed off with himself for not thinking of that in the first place and placed the chilled turkey on the ground.

"_Fine,"_ he mumbled.

"Can we get on with it now?" Simon asked, shuffling from side to side.

"Alright," Kim cleared her throat, "ready?"

"_Hey!"_

The last thing Robin had expected to hear was Jake's voice. He looked up in surprise to see him heading closer with Marci and Shaz.

"Hey you," he stepped toward them, "What's going on?"

"Why is everybody here?" Kim frowned.

"We've got no heating and we can't cook dinner," Marci told them.

"You too?" Simon frowned.

"But what are you doing _here?"_ Kim asked again.

"We couldn't think of anywhere that would still have the gas on," Shaz explained, "I remembered you telling me about Christmas two years ago…"

Kim gave a strange shiver. To Simon and the others Christmas 1995 really was 2 years ago. To her, it was ten.

"Gene and Alex nearly scalped us for that," she told them, "They'll never let you in."

"_You're_ here," Marci pointed out.

"We're risking a scalping too!"

"If we all join forces maybe we'll have more success?" Shaz suggested.

Robin looked around.

"They can't scalp all six of us," he reasoned.

Smiles began to grow on their faces as Kim raised an eyebrow.

"How are you all at singing?"

~xXx~

Gene's lips worked their way down Alex's neck, leaving tingles and warmth in their path.

"_God, Gene,"_ she breathed, her body twitching with anticipation.

"Tell Metal Mickey I approve her handiwork" he murmured as he softly kissed each of her breasts, careful not to touch the delicate new piercings before he worked his attentions further south and slowly started to disappear beneath the duvet.

"_God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay…"_

Gene froze, his tongue on its way to a new location. His eyes rose and met Alex's stare.

"No," he said.

"_For Jesus Christ, our saviour, was born on Christmas day…"_

With a flash of anger in his eyes he sat bolt upright, the duvet falling from his shoulders.

"_No."_

There was a slight pause and a muttering as the gathered crowd realised none of them knew the next line.

"Um… _la-la-la-la la-la-la-la la la la la la laaaa…."_

"I don't bloody believe this," Gene cried, scrambling off the bed while Alex pulled the covers back around her.

"Is it nineteen ninety five _again?"_ she cried as Gene arrived at the window to catch six enthusiastic faces belting out the next line.

"_With tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy –"_

"There will be no comfort for anyone if you think you're stopping me from getting me own _joy_ under the duvet with me other half!" he yelled out of the window,

"_O tidings of comfort and joy!"_

With a show of jazz hands the six figures completed their chorus. They watched Gene disappear from the window, then reappear with a glass of water, which he tipped over their heads.

"_Gene!"_ cried Simon, "that's the second time I've been wet today!"

"That's a bloody Christmas miracle in itself!" Gene barked.

"Guv, let us in," Marci pleaded.

"In what parallel universe will that _ever_ happen?" Gene barked.

"We've got nowhere to go, Guv," Jake added.

"Yer houses all blown away in the vapour trail of Santa's sleigh?"

"No," Jake sighed.

"We've got a gas problem," Robin yelled up.

Gene held up a finger, disappeared and returned with a packet of Rennies.

"Knock yourselves out," he told them, chucking them out the window and closing it.

"_Gene!"_ cried Simon, "_there's no gas at any of our flats!"_

"_A water pipe blew and knocked out a gas main!"_ Shaz added.

"_None of us have got any heating and we can't cook!"_ added Jake.

To their surprise Gene turned around and opened the window again.

"From what I've heard _you_ can't bloody cook anyway, Dawson!" he barked.

"Come on, Gene," Simon pleased, "we've got nowhere to go!"

"Salvation Army's round the corner!"

"You wouldn't turn your only son away, would you?" Simon risked, cringing with every word that came out of his mouth.

"I'd turn the bloody Queen of _Sheba_ away, I'm trying to unwrap me Christmas present here!"

"Ohhhh come _on_, Guv, he's your flesh and blood!" Marci urged.

"Yeah, and didn't you once say we were _lesbians-in-law?"_ Robin pointed out, remembering a paralytic Gene at his welcome back party some months earlier."

"Yeah, and I'm –" Kim hesitated,

"_Don't_ say '_knocking off your missus',_ that's not going to get us in!" Simon warned her.

"Bugger off and leave a man to get laid in peace!" Gene yelled.

"We've brought food!" Robin told him.

"There's not enough food in _Sainsbury's_ to get you invited" Gene threatened.

"And presents," Shaz held out a carrier bag.

"Unless that present is a device to go back in time and get a bloody great guard dog to keep you off me property I'm not interested!"

"And booze," Kim said temptingly, holding a bottle aloft.

Gene hesitated.

"Tell me more."

"We've got brandy," Robin told him.

"And scotch," said Kim.

"And we've got more wine than a branch of Thresher's!" Marci added.

Gene looked around as Alex joined him at the window, draped in a red silky nightdress.

"I think we should just admit defeat and let them in," she told him.

Gene stared in shock.

"You do?" he recalled her vehemence that he get rid of their guests as swiftly as possible the last time they'd been invaded. But as Alex smiled it was clear she had a good reason for it. Her last Christmas had been spent with Robin and Kim; the one before _that_ with a younger Kim and Simon. After a traumatic year, staring out the window and seeing them all united was a reminder of how much she valued her life. She wanted to share her Christmas with some of the people who made it so happy.

"Just until dinner's over," she warned them out of the window as their faces lit up.

"Of course," Simon agreed.

"And _you're_ cooking, she pointed to Robin.

"Yes!" Robin cheered.

"And _you_," she turned to Kim and blushed. "You'd better check my piercings. For aftercare purposes."

Kim bit her lip and smirked.

"Yes, Ma'am," she said.

"What about us?" Jake asked, a little worriedly.

"You can all stay –" Alex began.

"_- As long as you eat the bloody sprouts,"_ Gene barked and Kim gagged.

"_They're_ welcome to them," she mumbled.

Gene and Alex exchanged a glance.

"You sure about this, Bols?" Gene asked incredulously.

Alex nodded.

"We get free drink, I don't have to cook and you get to hand out all those lovely wooden spoons."

Gene hesitated.

"I'm ninety-five percent sold."

"We can collaborate to subject them to abject humiliation."

Gene pursed his lips.

"Hundred percent. Get yer glad rags on," he told her and turned to the window. "Dinner for eight is on Batman," he called, "and it had better be Michelin standard."

"Got it," Robin saluted as Gene closed the window.

Six relieved, happy figures congratulated one another on a successful task while they waited for Alex and Gene to dress and let them in.

If they knew what Gene had in mind they might not have been so fast to cheer.

_**~xXx~**_

_**A/N: The next chapter might take a few days to appear because it's a long one! After that there will be a little slushy epilogue – aaaaaaand then back to the angst :D Aren't you proud of me though? I've made it through 11 chapters of fluff already!**_


	12. Twelve Drummers Drumming

_**A/N: This chapter was getting ridiculously long so I've decided to split I t into 2 parts. The second half will be up in a few days!**_

_**~xXx~**_

**Twelve Drummers Drumming**

Gene still wasn't altogether sure about it as he issued glasses to the crowd that had gathered in his lounge.

"I'd better be left with more alcohol than I had when you all trampled in," he warned.

"Don't worry about that, we've brought a small off-licence worth with us," Simon promised him.

"It's the 'small' part that worries me."

"Medium-sized then."

Alex followed Gene around with champagne. She wasn't sure which of their unexpected guests had brought it but she was certainly going to make the most of it.

"Alright, glasses out," she instructed and a barrage of gasses appeared before her. She filled them all, then opened another bottle for herself and Gene before turning back to the crowd.

"What are we drinking to?" Marci wondered.

Gene held up his glass.

"Free booze," he said, earning an elbow in the ribs.

"To the best team Fenchurch East has ever seen," Alex told them, raising her glass as a round of chinks and clatters began.

"_Fenchurch East,"_ they chanted.

"And to absent friends."

Kim's quiet addition made Simon, Robin and Alex all stop in their tracks and turn to her; little smiles that were filled with nostalgia aimed in her direction. They knew it was Kim's toast, and for a decade _they_ had been the friends to whom she was referring. But now her thoughts were with the people she'd left behind. Never had she regretted her decision, the leap of faith she'd taken, but there would always be a pang of terrible sadness inside of her when she thought about her sons and the brother she'd only just found.

"_To absent friends,"_ Simon carefully pressed the rim of his glass to Kim's and looked her in the eye. He remembered that toast of hers.

"_Absent friends,"_ the gathering murmured as they clinked glasses for a second time, each and every one of them remembering someone who couldn't be with them that day. Shaz thought of her mum, down with the flu, Jake of his father who once again failed to be there for him, Simon of the man he couldn't get off his mind – but _that_ thought wasn't permissible in present company.

Others had more poignant thoughts, for those who wouldn't be there in a different way. Marci's thoughts turned to Eddie, the man she'd only just started to let into her affections when she lost him. Robin's thoughts turned to the life he'd had a year ago, a life he'd never even had a chance to say goodbye to. Although he and Kim were together now they should have been a family. They should have been on the other side of the line. Sometimes he still felt resentful for all they'd lost. Alex's thoughts were with the daughters she had left behind; never for a moment were they away from her heart. And although he tried to deny it, even to himself, Gene's thoughts turned to the baby he never ever met. He downed a lot of alcohol and tried to keep his expression neutral.

"Batman, he said severely, "into the kitchen with you."

Robin stared at him. He looked serious.

"Already?" his brow creased.

"You were let in on the proviso that there was going to be a Gordon Blur dinner."

"Cordon bleu," Robin sighed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"

"Sorry, Rob," Kim rubbed his shoulder, "I think your hands are tied."

"I wish they were, then I wouldn't have to cook for everyone," he mumbled, standing his champagne on the side, then he stormed towards the kitchen.

~xXx~

"I'm not doing any more cooking until I've had at least two presents."

A hot, bothered and stressed Robin stomped back out of the kitchen.

"Why aren't you up to yer elbows in sprouts?" Gene demanded.

"Because I've reached maximum cooking capacity and the only way to restore my energy is by unwrapping stuff," Robin told them haughtily.

"You unwrapped _me_ this morning," Kim volunteered, causing smirks and sniggering. "Oh _relax_, it's not like you're a bunch of virgins!" Kim admonished.

"Only just," Marci raised her eyebrow at Jake and found a hand clamped firmly over her mouth.

"That's enough information, thank you," Jake said as his face turned red but his warning came too late to throw a smug Gene off the scent.

"Dawson's a blank page, is he?" he asked, inciting a loud cough from Robin and causing Jake to start examining the backs of his hands very thoroughly.

"Not any more, he isn't," Robin mumbled.

"Excuse me but, _presents?"_ Kim reminded them.

"For god's sake, let's get Gene's out the way first," Simon told them.

"Save the best til last," Gene boasted. Simon, Kim and Alex sighed.

"Yeah, definitely get Gene's over with first," Kim agreed.

"What's _wrong_ with my bloody presents?" Gene demanded.

"I'm sorry, I think I'll die of old age before I finish answering that question," Kim told him, earning an extremely dark glare.

"At least I'm not offering a couple of shammies for shifting Jimbo's joy juice out the back of someone's car," he pointed out and Kim's face contorted in horror.

"That was unnecessary," she hissed. Gene realised he most probably had gone a bit too far and pulled a face to cover the twang of guilt.

"Help yerself to another wooden spoon as me apology," he told her.

"I'd rather help myself to another piece of mistletoe," Kim pouted, her hands on her hips. The glare that held between them could have killed a man with its strength. Alex cringed, she couldn't think of anyone but Kim who had a chance of giving Gene a run for his money, and she couldn't think of anyone but Gene who could do the same to Kim. Never had two people been so evenly matched in strength. Alex didn't particularly want to referee that match.

"_Presents, Gene,"_ she announced in a sing-song voice, darting between them to break up the battle of the glares.

Gene tried to glare at Kim through Alex's chest but found himself focussing on something more interesting instead. He cleared his throat, mumbled something about what he _really_ wanted to unwrap and finally gave in.

"Alright," he nodded, "wait here."

"Where are we going to go? The arctic?" Simon sighed, rolling his eyes.

It took a few moments for Gene to return with a large carrier bag full of badly wrapped items which he tossed into the middle of the gathering.

"Knock yerselves out," he told them.

The group peered at the bag. None of them could quite find the courage to approach it.

"Well?" Marci glanced around, "isn't someone going to open it?"

Simon hesitated.

"Nah, I think I'm OK for presents this year" he said.

"I'm not going near them after everything I've heard," Robin shivered.

"_One_ of you needs to look in the bag," Jake pointed out.

"What do you mean, 'one of _you'_?" Shaz asked, "what are you scared of?"

"_You_ look then!"

"No thanks!"

Kim stared incredulously at the crowd, then rolled her eyes.

"Oh, for god's _sake,"_ she huffed and snatched up the bag, "_I'll_ do it then."

"There's no more mistletoe in there if that's what you're thinking, Stringer," Gene warned.

Kim ignored Gene's sniping, already working out how to get her own back later, and began to issue presents like a heavily-pierced female Santa.

"Do we want to open these?" Simon asked worriedly.

"Do you want to be eating yer dinner out on the frosty porch?" Gene countered and Simon reluctantly began to tear away the wrapping paper on what was clearly going to be a potato masher.

"Oh," Marci said quietly as she unwrapped an egg whisk.

_"Thanks,"_ Jake said flatly, opening up his pastry brush.

"I don't even know what this _is,"_ Shaz frowned as she unveiled something that looked like it could do a person severe damage if placed in the wrong hands.

"Yer all a bunch of ungrateful arses!" Gene told them indignantly as Robin unwrapped a cheese grater and forced a smile.

_"Wonderful,"_ he managed to lie, "Kim? What have you got?"

"What was I _ever_ going to get?" Kim mumbled, ripping off the paper from around her wooden spoon.

"Whatever will you do with your marvellous gift?" Simon asked her.

"I know _what_ I want to do with it," she said evilly, eying Gene and making him feel somewhat anxious. He swallowed and backed away.

"Err, Bolly," he began, clearing his throat, "your turn."

Alex stared at the package Gene handed her. She turned her gaze to Gene and then back to the parcel.

"Are you sure I'm not going to recognise this item?" she asked.

"No idea what you mean," Gene said gruffly.

"Am I going to recognise it from the depth of my kitchen drawer?"

"Oh ye of little faith!" Gene folded his arms as Alex reluctantly sighed and started opening the parcel.

"This had better be good," she mumbled, "after I went to ten shops to get the right colour tamagotchi."

"Tammy got what?" frowned Simon.

"Gene wanted a cyber pet," Alex told him.

"They're _called_ Tama_gotchis," _Gene said indignantly as Alex finally finished grappling with the paper and looked at the box within.

"Gene?" she blinked, "it's…" she looked up, "I-it's a…"

"An electric tin opener," Gene told her proudly which raised a strangled shriek from Simon.

_"It's a what?"_ he demanded.

"It's top of the _range,"_ Alex looked from the present to Gene.

"And it's got FM radio and a nightlight programmed in," Gene told her, "for opening cans in the dark while," he flinched at the terminology, _"getting jiggy with it."_

"Oh _god,"_ Robin groaned, slapping his forehead, "somewhere out there Will Smith just died inside."

"It's _Simon_ I'm worried about," Kim pointed out, "is he _supposed_ to be that colour."

"_Tin opener?"_ Simon whimpered as he stared at the gift Alex had unwrapped.

"Is that the one _you_ got her?" Robin hissed and Simon shook his head.

"_That's the better model,"_ he whimpered as Alex kissed Gene, _"Bollocks. Fuck, shit and bloody bollocks!"_

"Shoebury!" Gene barked, "didn't I see you sneaking in a big sack of presents?"

"Nope," Simon mumbled, kicking it behind him.

"Yes I did. Hand them over."

"Not much point now," Simon muttered.

He didn't have much of a say in the matter as Gene grabbed the bag and began to thrust small packages into the hands of the gathered crowd.

"At least it can't be as bad as what _Gene's_ given us," Robin told him encouragingly as Simon attempted to blend in with the wallpaper.

"You'd think not," he mumbled, watching Marci as she opened her gift and stared at the unexpected box.

"Surgical gloves," she blinked. "Am… am I supposed to be performing an operation, sir?"

"It's a packet of swabs," Jake stared at his own present and finally looked up at Simon. "_You shouldn't have,"_ he said in a monotone voice.

"I don't think he did," Gene scowled, unwrapping some sterile gauzes, "What the hell did you do, Shoebury? Buy shares in the NHS?"

"What's _this_ for?!" cried Shaz as she unwrapped a bundle of heart monitor wires.

"I'm _sorry!"_ Simon protested ad Alex opened her tin opener and looked at Simon somewhat sympathetically.

"Thank you, Simon," she said politely."

"What the hell is this all in aid of, Shoebury?" Gene barked, ""supplying us with all the medical equipment we'll need to extract your head from your own _arse_ after we deal with you for giving us the worst christmas presents the earth has ever _seen?"_

"_I'm sorry!"_ Simon protested, "I ran out of time yesterday to buy you stuff because I spent six _hours_ buying a fucking _can opener_ that you outdid me with anyway, and so I had to wrap up stuff I had lying around the flat!"

"Who has _this_ lying around their flat?" Kim asked, dangling the stethoscope she'd just unwrapped angrily in front of his nose.

"It was after my coma!" Simon protested, "I'd been out for a long time! I was all confused! I was packng to go home and I… I…" he swallowed, "I kind of got into the medical supplies by accident. I guess I had a kind of… kleptomaniac phase for a while."

"And what am I supposed to do with _this?"_ Kim clutched her present and looked in danger of shoving it up Simon's nostrils.

"_I_ don't know!" Simon cried, "make sure you're still breathing or something?"

Robin swallowed.

"You got me a bedpan?" he said as he opened his present.

"I'm sorry!"

"A bloody _bedpan!"_

"That was the best _one!"_ Simon tried to persuade him.

"It's the _worst_ one!" Robin cried, "you're suggesting I can't even make it to my own _toilet!"_

"I heard all about your phantom pregnancy! If you knock Kim up again you might need it!"

"Thanks a lot!" Robin cried, his cheeks turning to a deep shade of crimson.

"Well, I like _my_ present," Alex told him, even though it was clearly the biggest disappointment she'd had in her life from the fake smile plastered across her face. Simon was at least grateful for the effort she'd put into making him feel a little less like the worst Santa in existence.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Alex put down her tin opener and held out her arms.

"Merry Christmas, Simon," she smiled, attempting to hug him, but he quickly shrieked and scrambled backwards.

"Can't anyone gve a greeting without needing close physical contact any more?" he cried and Alex looked a little alarmed.

"What's the matter?" she asked worriedly.

"He's just feeling a little sore," Kim raised her eyebrows and Alex tried not to laugh.

"Oh, _Simon,"_ she sighed, "come on. It's not that bad."

"_What's_ not?" he cried in alarm.

"Look, mine feel fine!" Alex told him.

"_What?"_ Simon's first instinct was to reel in horror at the thought of Alex's nipples, then the next instant something struck him. "How did you know?"

"Erm, I told her," Kim said, a little ashamed.

"thanks a lot, Kim!"

"You never said it was a secret!"

"Good job, since we all know," Marci commented and Simon clasped his arms around his chest.

"How the _hell_ do you all know?!" he cried.

"Jake told me," Marci shrugged.

"_Robin_ told me," said Jake.

"I could see them through your shirt last night," Shaz concluded.

A horrified Simon turned to Gene who retreated across the room.

"Don't even look at me, Shoe Boy!" he cried, "the less said about your nipples the better!"

"I couldn't agree more," Kim blanched.

"Then can we all stop talking about them?" Simon pleaded.

"Might be time to stop the Santa act and get on with the cooking, batman," Gene told Robin.

"Fine, I'll go and cook the turkey in _this_, shall I?" Robin held up his bedpan and stomped away.

In the mutterings that followed, Kim reached for the carrier bag she'd brought with her. There were some cans of lager still in there which Alex and Gene hadn't found room for in the fridge and a couple of nicely tied presents. She took one out, tossed it in the air and caught it again, then walked toward Gene. He looked at her as though the event was as unexpected as snow in July.

"Can I help you, Metal Mickey?" he asked, "or am I an exhibit in the Museum Of Really Pissed Off People?"

In reply Kim held out the package. Gene stared at it, not completely sure that it wasn't going to explode.

"What's this?" he demanded.

"What does it look like?"

"Suspicious."

Kim rolled his eyes.

"It's supposed to be your christmas present!"

"I don't really fancy a nipple piercing kit," Gene told her and Kim rolled her eyes again.

"Please your bloody self," she cried, stomping away. Gene noticed Alex glaring at him.

"You could be a little more appreciative, you know," she said.

"I don't appreciate human/robot hybrids shoving lumps of metal through eighty percent of the nipples in Fenchurch East!" Gene told her.

"You remember the last time you snubbed a present?" Alex raised her eyebrow as Gene remembered the glass Simon had given him two years before, "Maybe you should unwrap it before she sentence Kim to a christmas of gift rejection!" she turned to walk towards Kim who was trying not to let her upset show. "Kim…"

Kim glanced around and tried to make her expression look a little less murderous.

"Ma'am," she said, jumping a little.

"Kim, I'm sorry about Gene," Alex sighed and closed her eyes, "you know what he's like –"

"The last thing you need to do is make excuses for him," Kim told her, "it's his loss. I'll just take it back."

"To the shop?"

"Nope, to my pocket," Kim said quietly. She grabbed for the bag and rummaged around inside of it for a moment before pulling out another gift and hiding it slightly. "ma'am, I…" she looked down, "I've got you something."

"I thought the piercings were my present," Alex said, feeling a little coy as Kim gave a distant smile.

"Well, they were _part_ of it," she said, smiling back, "but," the package in her hands felt so daunting to hand over. Slowly she pulled it out from behind her. "This is different. It's special." She hesitated, "open it when you're alone later, OK?"

Alex looked at her curiously.

"What –"

"And please don't make fun" Kim said quickly, "it's not my usual style, OK?"

"What?" Alex frowned, "is it a tattoo or something?"

Kim didn't have a chance to reply as a nosy Gene interfered.

"Presents to be opened in private, Stringer?" he frowned, "if you've been buying me other-half edible underwear…"

"Guv!" Kim cried, "I resent this constant suggestion that I'm some sex-obsessed, half-robot nymphomaniac!"

"Kim, why do you smell like strawberries and cream?" Simon asked out of the blue and Kim turned a vibrant shade of pink as she recalled her exploits with Robin on the kitchen floor.

"Erm," she mumbled, "I think I'd better go and help Rob in the kitchen."

Gene sighed and shook his head as he watched her dashing away.

"You want to watch them being left alone together in there," Gene warned Alex, "I've heard about what she keeps under her bed. That turkey's too innocent to witness such behaviour."

"Oh Gene," Alex closed her eyes and sighed in frustration. She nodded to the parcel in Gene's hand. "Well? Aren't you going to open your present?"

"It's probably a remote control," Gene mumbled, "it's the only way I'll ever get Metal Mickey to do anything I want." But he began to unwrap it, regardless, and when he got to the gift inside his face froze.

"What?"

"_Bugger."  
_

Alex frowned, looking first at Gene's expression and then at the silver object inside the paper. As he finished unpeeling the gift it became clear to see it was a flask; silver, engraved with Gene's initials. He flinched as a tiny twang of that unfamiliar emotion known as guilt began to poke him in the side. "Stringer's pulled a Shoebury."

He recalled the day on the courtroom, where he'd handed his flask over to Kim and told her to keep it. It had been more than just a momentary gesture. It was a symbol of something he could feel in his bones. And now she'd paid back the gesture, not just by replacing his flask but by giving him the go-ahead to start anew. Things were changing. And Kim, for all her faults, had a thoughtful side to her nature that she tried hard not to show but couldn't be denied.

"Who does that remind me of?" Gene mumbled, scratching his head. He looked up at the sight of Kim and Robin around the kitchen doorway; talking, laughing, joking with one another. He tried not to think about the parallels with another couple not a million miles away from him. He glanced at Alex who was looking somewhat satisfied with herself.

"Aren't you glad you got her a wooden spoon now?" she teased and Gene pulled a face.

"Give me a minute, Bols," he said, "I've got presents to fake!"


	13. Twelve and a half Drummers Drumming

_**A/N: The festivity just won't stop! So I'm splitting the chapter again. I've been really sick the last couple of days and want to edit something to take my mind off feeling bad but I'm not up to typing so this seems like a good point to break :)**_

**~xXx~**

**Twelve and a Half Drummers**

"I'm starting to grow weary of this," Alex admitted as the drunken, rowdy crew completed their third chorus of _Angels_, "I think it might be time for the abject humiliation."

"_Always_ time for abject humiliation" Gene agreed and set off for the kitchen to fetch both beer and Robin.

A few moments later an angry Robin screamed his way out of the kitchen, threatening Gene with a slotted spoon.

"_Stick a potato up there again and you won't know what's hit you!"_ he cried, "actually, no, you _will_, and it'll be called _Kim!"_

"It got you moving, didn't it?" Gene asked innocently.

"Moving in the direction of the job centre," Robin huffed as he took a seat in the lounge.

"What's going on?" Kim asked.

"Oh nothing, only Gene shoving _potatoes_ in every orifice!" Robin wailed.

"Only one orifice," Gene corrected.

"Do I want to know?" Alex asked cautiously.

"Probably not," mumbled Gene.

"What's happening? Why are we all here?" Jake frowned, aware that the lounge had suddenly become extremely busy.

"Gene and I thought you may be getting a little bored," Alex began with an innocent smile, "so we decided it was time for some entertainment."

"He's not going to sing, is he?" Simon asked cautiously as he stared at Gene.

"That's rich coming from you after you just murdered half the bloody top forty!" Gene mocked.

"No," Alex began slowly, "I thought it was time to resurrect an old favourite."

"We can't play the_ how many sprouts can you put down the woman with the big arse's pants _game," said Kim, "she's not here."

"And you're not using me as an alternative!" Robin warned.

"Not _that_ old favourite," Alex told them.

"Uh oh," Simon hesitated, "you can't mean –" he watched Alex nodding, "Uh, I'm not sure that's a very god idea. Playing that game only leads to trouble."

"What game?" asked Shaz.

"Truth or dare," Alex smiled and Robin and Kim gasped in horror.

"_No, no, no,"_ Robin shook his head, "I was introduced to that game with _those_ two," he looked accusingly at Simon and Kim, "a couple of months ago, never again!"

"I've learnt my lesson," Kim said, trying to fend off the threat of the game.

"Oh _that's_ a shame," Alex eyed Km slyly, "especially since the last time we played at Christmas it had its moments."

Kim blushed and bit her lip. She eyed Alex and pulled a face.

"That's very sneaky, Ma'am," she said.

"As long as it convinces you to play," Alex smirked.

"_I'm_ up for a game," Marci said amiably.

"If Marci's in then _I'm_ in," Shaz nodded.

Jake didn't seem convinced.

"Do we get any vetoes?" he asked.

"You'll have bloody beer and like it," said Gene.

"Not… _Vimto_, Gene," Alex sighed, "Vetoes."

"Never have before," said Kim.

"No vetos," Gene agreed.

Simon flinched.

"I don't have the best memories of this game," he said.

"_I_ don't have many memories at _all_," Robin whimpered. He swore he could still feel the dregs of the hangover he'd had two months earlier.

Kim bit her lip.

"I'm in," she said.

"You're not snogging me missus again!" Gene put his foot down.

Kim glanced at Alex.

"For old time's sake," she smiled.

Alex smiled back.

"Perfect," she said, "And Simon?"

Simon whimpered and put his head in his hands but finally nodded.

"Fine," he mumbled, "let's do it."

"Just the girls left now," Gene mocked Robin and Jake who both scowled.

"I'm not a girl!" Jake protested, knowing full well the more he protested the more fodder Gene would have. "I'm in."

Robin stared at him. Jake had been the last ally he'd had and he'd lost him, too. Eventually he sighed, then groaned.

"I give _up," _he mumbled, "I'll play."

Alex clapped her hands together and did a little jig of excitement.

"Fantastic!" she said, "so who's first?"

Silence fell. That was a position no one wanted to fill. Just when it looked like they were going to have to draw straws for the dubious privilege Jake surprised everyone by raising his hand.

"Go on, then," he said, "I'll go first."

"Jake?" frowned Marci.

"At least it will get it over and done with," Jake sighed, "I'll pick truth."

Gene snickered a little.

"Got one for you, Dawson," he said.

"Go on."

"So I hear yer cherry's been freshly popped," Gene began, "want to share the story of yer recently departed virginity?"

"Nope," Jake mumbled.

"It's truth or dare," Shaz reminded him, "you've got to spill it."

"That's what he was doing yesterday," Marci remarked and the two girls giggled while Jake turned a deep shade of red.

"Fresh as _that_, are you?" Gene smirked, "How old are you again? Twenty nine? Thirty?"

"Does it matter?" Jake flushed, "the point is it's not an issue any longer."

"_Details,"_ Gene reminded him.

"Gene, I don't think you'll want to hear them," Alex hissed.

"I don't want to hear whose gubbins went in where," Gene pointed out.

"Then what _do_ you want to know"

"Well," Gene shrugged, "your place or hers?"

"His," Jake mumbled and Gene turned white.

"You're right, I don't want to hear the rest of this."

"_I_ heard way too _much_ of it," Marci volunteered, only to find Jake's hand clasped over her mouth again.

"And that's all you're going to say on the matter," Jake informed her, "the rest of it stays between me, Robin and DCI Stringer's desk."

A horrified gasp came from Kim who shot a foot in the air.

"You did it _where?!"_ she cried.

"You helped set us up!" Robin protested.

"I didn't expect you to use my…" Kim flapped her hands around, "_facilities!"_

"You had the biggest desk!" Robin protested.

"I can't believe you shagged in the serious sexual crimes department!" Kim cried, "that's so inappropriate."

"So was the use of handcuffs," Marci giggled in the few seconds Jake let go of her mouth before he clasped his hand over it again.

"That's it, I'm disinfecting my desk first thing tomorrow," Kim blanched

"Oh, like _we've_ never done it on there before," Robin blurted before he realised what he was saying as all eyes turned to Kim, except for hers who were on him.

"The next piece of action you'll see involving my desk will be me jamming one of the legs in an unfortunate place," she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Maybe it's time for another round," Robin said loudly.

"Yes," Jake agreed, "and Marci's just volunteered to go next. Haven't you, Marci?"

"_Mmmmpppffff mmmpppfff?"_ Marci mumbled as Jake, hand still clamped around her mouth, forced her to nod her head.

"What a good sport," Jake raised his eyebrow and finally let go.

"Truth or dare, Marci?" asked Gene.

Marci pulled a face.

"_Dare,"_ she said.

Jake reached into the pile of wrapping paper on the coffee table and handed her something.

"Eat this tag," he told her.

"What? _Ew, no!"_ Marci cried.

"Go on, it'll keep your big mouth busy for a few minutes," Jake teased and Marci made a mocking face.

"I'm not eating the tag."

"Eat a bowl of sprouts then," Jake offered and Marci gulped.

"I think I'll stick with the tag," she mumbled and popped it into her mouth before Jake could enforce his threat.

"_Ew, Marci!"_ shrieked Shaz.

"She had to do it, it's her dare," Kim reminded her.

"Urgh, that's disgusting," Simon cried as Marci finally swallowed it.

"You should have picked nicer tasting _tags_ then!" she coughed before downing half her lager to rid herself of the taste.

"What was it like?" Jake asked reluctantly and Marci stuck out her tongue.

"Better than sprouts," she said.

"Alright," Alex clapped her hands, "who's next?"

Kim raised a finger.

"I might as well go next," she said.

"Excellent," Alex smiled slyly, "I remember the last time you did a dare at Christmas."

Kim hesitated.

"I pick dare," she said quickly.

Gene scowled at her. He folded his arms and leaned forward.

"Open Bolly's wardrobe," he began, "get the pinkest, frilliest object you can find and put it on, with all the pastel pink make-up yer face will take and then say you're a pretty little girly and you love lace, bows and Hello Kitty."

"_What?"_

No one had ever heard Kim's voice so full of fear, not when faced with a knife or a gun or even one of Simon's Red Dwarf videos. She turned pure white and her lip waivered.

"It's a dare, you've got to do it," Marci grinned.

"_What?"_ Kim whispered again.

Alex bit her lip, trying not to laugh at the thought of poor Kim swathed in pink.

"Come on," she said, getting to her feet, "I'll find you something."

"Uh," Gene raised his voice, "not _together_ you bloody won't!"

"Oh relax, I'm not going to do a striptease for her," Kim told him crossly as she stomped after Alex.

As Gene tried to stop laughing at the thought of his evil scheme Marci tried to get back on track.

"Who's next?" she asked.

"Don't look at me," said Robin, "if I'm being humiliated I'm waiting until I've got Kim here to protect me."

"I guess I'll go next," Simon said reluctantly, "Truth."

"Do you always give such crappy presents?" Marci asked.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" Simon protested.

"No one else bought them," Robin pointed out.

"In answer to yer question, yes he does," said Gene.

"Thanks a lot!" cried Simon, "I'll take your teletubby back to the shop shall I?"

"You got me a bloody Tinky _Winky!"_ Gene cried, _"Dipsy, _Shoebury. All I wanted in the world was a Dipsy of my very own…"

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah," Simon pulled a face, "someone else take a turn."

"You didn't answer your question, _he_ answered it for you," Shaz pointed out, "that means we get to ask another question."

Simon groaned.

"_Bollocks."_

"_I've_ got a question," Marci began.

"Another one?" Simon scowled.

"You and Chief Inspector Thomas," Marci began.

Robin and Simon glanced at one another, a little warily.

"What about us?" Simon asked.

"You used to go out, didn't you?" Marci asked and Simon nodded.

"Yeah, we did. You know we did."

"So why did you two break up?" she noticed both their expressions contorted a little with bad memories and pain, and wondered if her question was a step too far, "I mean… I'm sorry, it's just you get on so well and you still seem so close…"

Simon's lip wobbled a little. A part of him wanted to smile warmly at Robin, thankful to still have him in his life. Another part of him wanted to cry in pain for the way they'd been split up.

"Marci, it's not that easy," he whispered but before he had a chance to try to cover up for his emptions Robin began to talk.

"Marci," he began quietly, "sometimes in life you find yourself swept in a direction you never anticipated and never wanted. Simon and me… we were very close and very much in love for a long time, but then we had to be apart and we didn't have a say in the matter. And we were apart so long that we just found ourselves… changing. Adapting to life without one another. We were in different places, literally and emotionally. And we're always going to care about one another. But we became different people. And we fell in love with other people too."

"_'We'_?"

_Shit._ Simon paled visibly as Shaz was on the case.

"Who's turn is it next?" he asked quickly.

"What does the caped crusader mean?" Gene demanded, "not going to find _you_ bonking someone on Stringer's desk and all am I?"

"Ew, _no!"_ Simon cried in horror, "I wouldn't do that!" he shuddered, "I don't want splinters in my backside for one thing."

"Spill it, Shoebury," Gene narrowed his eyes at Simon but to Simon's surprise Marci came to his rescue, remembering the conversation they'd had some weeks ago about the man Simon had on his mind.

"I think DCI Shoebury's turn is over now," she said and Simon gave her a grateful smile, "who's going to take a turn now?"

"_I_ will," Shaz said as footsteps returned from upstairs and a pissed-off, not to mention shame-faced Kim arrived in the doorway. A pale pink blouse that showed shadows of ink through its thin fabric, a delicate, bejewelled necklace with matching earrings and bracelets and a bow tied in her hair made from some left-over wrapping supplies. On her face was pastel lipstick and eye make-up, alongside the angriest expression the team had ever seen.

"The first person to laugh gets their liver pierced," Kim threatened, making a fist.

Gene got to his feet, smirking for all he was worth.

"Go on," he prompted.

"Go on what?" Kim snapped.

"Say it."

Kim glared at him.

"Say what" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Say yer line."

Kim stared at him, then swallowed.

"_I'm a pretty little girly_," she mumbled crossly.

Gene tried not to grin.

"So you arte, prettiest robot this side of one of Shoebury's science fiction conventions."

Kim flopped angrily into the couch, turning her glare to each person in turn.

"We never speak of this again," she said warningly.

"So where _were_ we?" Robin asked loudly, trying not to laugh.

"It was my turn," said Shaz. She eyed the pile of rwrapping paper, not wishing to sample it. "Truth."

"Marks out of ten for Marci," Jake grinned.

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell," Shaz told him.

"It's not the kissing I'm asking about," Jake pointed out.

"Yeah, you know about that part anyway," Marci let slip before several eyes turned in her direction.

"What's this?" Simon asked, suddenly interested.

"Were you two once –"

"No," Jake said firmly, "very much not."

"It was late one night and there had been a lot of alcohol on the menu," Marci cringed.

"I remember less about it than I do about advanced algebra," Jake mumbled.

"This isn't actually answering the question," Marci pointed out, "what score do I get?"

Shaz looked a little coy.

"Nine out of ten," she said with a smirk, and then quickly added, "You'd get ten but… I've got to give you somewhere to go, haven't I, babe?"

Marci grinned back and looked down.

"Yeah, nine's fair," she said, "I'll try to score the extra point tonight."

Gene's interest seemed to perk up suddenly.

"Mind sharing the details of yer scoring system?" he asked before he received an elbow in the ribs from Alex.

"I'll go next," she said, trying to distract Gene from learning enough details about Shaz's scoring system to start issuing ratings at night, "I'll pick truth."

Shaz leaned forward.

"Did you really have your nipples pierced, Ma'am?" she asked in a half-whisper, nervous that Gene was going to lobotomize her for asking such a personal question. She watched Alex's cheeks redden and giggled. "Got my answer."

Alex was a little embarrassed but also rather proud of herself for going through with it.

"Yes I did," she said, "_and_ I've been following all the aftercare instructions," she added, glancing at Kim.

"It's _important!"_ Kim protested, "I just want people to be aware of the best way to take care of their body mods!"

"I know," Alex smiled, "you do your job very well."

"And she looks like a bloody sugar plum fairy," Gene smirked, causing Kim to angrily wipe her glittery eyes on her sleeve.

"That's it, my dare's over," she said, quickly removing as much jewellery as she could.

"It's my go next," Robin said, trying to distract Gene from his attempt to make Kim keep the girly trinkets on, "Truth, please."

"You're a bunch of weeds, do you know that?" Gene folded his arms, "I know the truth is out there but you don't have to keep bloody _picking_ it!"

"I took a dare!" Marci protested.

"And me!" Kim reminded him.

"_I'm_ not as _tough_ as they are," Robin pointed out and Gene relented.

"True enough," he said,

"Alright," Marci began, "since he was happy to let _me_ be rated, marks out of ten for Jake, please."

_"Hey!"_ Jake frowned.

"_What?"_

"That's not fair!"

"How is it not fair?"

"You've had more… _practice,"_ Jake choked out.

Marci ignored him.

"Marks out of ten," she prompted.

Robin considered.

"Eight and a half," he said.

"Oh _what?"_ cried Jake, "you can't give me less than Marci got, I'll never hear the end of this!"

"Like Shaz said, I've got to leave you somewhere to go!" Robin protested.

"She only knocked off one point!"

"Yeah well, you lost the other half a point for describing your…" Robin flapped his arms around, flustered, "your _you know what_ as a sonic _screwdriver!"_

Jake felt his face heating up as a round of laughter began.

"Is nothing sacred?" he wailed.

"Not around us," Marci smirked.

"Jesus wept." Gene covered his face with his hands.

"So did you, apparently," Alex pointed out. She could see Jake looking somewhat distressed so she decided to move things on. "Gene, only you left now."

Gene sat up straight.

"I'll take a dare," he said boldly and instantly regretted it as Kim very slowly got to her feet, a smug look upon her face. She grabbed the pile of jewellery from beside her and held it out.

"Go to your bedroom, find the pinkest, frilliest thing in the wardrobe, put it on with these and lots of make-up," she smiled pleasantly, "and spend the rest of the day as a pretty little girly."

It was hard to imagine a face could ever fill with such horror as Gene's did in that instant.

"Game's over, Rainbow Brite," he announced, getting to his feet but Alex quickly thrust him back down.

"No, we would never deprive you of your turn," she told him cheerfully, "You received such delight at seeing Kim performing her dare that I just _know_ you'll be overwhelmed with delight at performing your own!"

"Only a real man would feel confident enough in himself to wear make-up, Guv," Marci tried to persuade him.

"I'm not falling for that one, bloody Batman's sitting there with inch-thick eyeliner!" Gene cried.

"You have to do it, Guv," Shaz insisted.

"Come on, Gene, just get it over with," sighed Simon, the sooner this game's over with, the better."

"I change me mind, I'll do truth," said Gene.

"Too late, Guv," Kim told him.

"My house, my team, my choice!" Gene huffed.

Kim glared at him, desperate not to let him weedle out of this one. Her mind ticked around for a few moments before a smile spread across her face.

"Alright," she said, "I've got one for you."

"I thought you might," Gene scowled.

"Who's the better kisser, Rob or Simon?"

The silence that fell could have grounded planes and shorn sheep with its power.

While Jake, Marci and Shaz covered their mouths so the Guv couldn't see how much they were laughing both Simon and Robin scrambled to their feet, gagging in horror.

"Kim, _no!"_ cried Robin.

"That was a dark, _dark_ day never too be remembered," Simon clutched his throat as though he'd been poisoned.

"_He's_ the only one that's kissed you both, how else will I ever find the answer to that question?!" Kim asked innocently.

"_You don't,"_ Gene threatened, "not unless you wasn't to find the answer to who's he better kisser out of Batman and me balled-up fist!"

Kim wasn't scared.

"So do your dare instead, then." She smiled.

"I'll find you a blouse!" Alex cried happily, jumping to her feet.

"I'll lend you my eyeliner," Robin told him, reaching into his pocket but swiftly found Gene's hand around his throat.

"_Not necessary, Batman_," he growled.

"Let him go!" cried Kim.

"Or what?"

Kim narrowed her eyes.

"Or I'll make you wear a bra as well."

Gene hesitated long enough to glare at Kim, then reluctantly let go of Robin who spluttered a little.

"Thank you for strangling me," he choked, "just what I wanted for Christmas."

"think yerself lucky there are no filing cabinets in here," Gene told him.

"_Here you are!"_ Alex announced brightly, waving a floaty chiffon blouse in the air.

Gene swallowed hard.

"I can actually feel me testicles shrinking," he told them.

~xXx~

"So pretty. So damned pretty."

"Whoever made that remark is in severe danger of eating their own gibblets with the turkey," Gene threatened as the others examined his makeover.

"The beauty spot was an inspired touch," Kim told Alex.

"Yes, I thought so," Alex stood back and admired her handiwork. "Perhaps just a touch more lipstick –"

"Do it and me lips are never coming near you again!"

Alex laughed as Gene took his seat again.

"Dawson. You're up next."

"What? _Another round?"_ Jake groaned, "no thanks."

"Oh come on, Jake," said Shaz, "I want to ask for more details about the Marci Kiss!"

"There _are_ no other details!" Jake protested.

"There are _some_ details," Marci began as Jake's hand thrust itself over her mouth again, almost without his say so.

"There are _not_!" Jake told her, "it was a mistake on a boozy night that could have been worse!"

"Worse how?" Robin asked.

"Well, I offered –"

"- To shut up," Jake concluded, trying hard to keep Marci's mouth covered but not quite managing it, "and anyway, no one's answering _anything_ because I pick dare!"

Shaz smirked.

"Alright," she said, "Kiss Marci."

"What?" Jake gasped.

_"What?!"_ cried Marci.

"You want him to kiss your girlfriend?" the infidelity police were on the case.

"I think it's funny," Shaz giggled, "they _never_ kissed, they couldn't have done! Look at them, they're best friends. I think they imagined it!"

"We did not!" cried Jake.

"Then prove it!"

"How's kissing now going to prove we kissed in the past?"

"You can't make them kiss, Shaz, it's too weird!" Kim told her, "it'll be like when _Glitter-Guv_ dared me and Simon to kiss."

"Exactly!" said Shaz, "I think it's too weird and they imagined the whole thing!"

"We didn't imagine it, Shaz," said Marci, "believe me."

"Oh yeah?" Shaz raised an eyebrow, "so, marks out of ten for Detective Sergeant Dawson then?"

"I'm not doing that!" cried Marci, "I can't remember!"

"I'm that forgettable?" Jake turned to Marci, suddenly hurt.

"We were pissed!"

"I thought it was a pretty good kiss!"

"I thought you didn't remember," Shaz raised her eyebrow.

"OK, _maybe_ I remember a few details," Jake blushed, "but _she_ doesn't!"

"Jake, it's no big deal!"

"It was at the time!"

"Only because we knew we'd been stupid!"

"So first I'm forgettable and then I'm stupid?"

Marci had no idea why Jake seemed to be taking so much offense suddenly, but she didn't want to fight, not on Christmas day.

"Oh for god's sake,_ here,"_ she groaned, grasping his face and pulling him forward where she pressed her lips firmly to his, closing her eyes as she delivered a lengthy, languid kiss. When she finally let him go and drew away shocked, wide eyes and a lipstick-smeared mouth faced her. "_There_. Happy Christmas."

Jake swallowed.

"_Hnngnnnnghh kiss,"_ he mumbled knocked half senseless and breathless from the forceful smacker.

"Yes, it was a kiss, you've had those before," Marci mumbled, slightly uncomfortable. She straightened up her hair a little. "Jake? Jake, are you OK?"

Robin swiped his hand in front of Jake's face.

"Are you alive?" he asked.

Jake blinked.

_"Kiss,"_ he mumbled again.

"OK, so we've lost Jake," Kim sighed, "Anyone else going to take a turn?"

"I'm not kissing _everyone_," Marci cried.

"No! In the _game!"_

"I think we should stop before anyone needs urgent medical attention," Alex told her.

"Too late for that," said Simon as Jake flopped backwards, his eyes unfocused.

"_Kiss,"_ he mumbled again.

"Don't give him anything else to drink," Gene issued a warning, "or any more bloody tongue action, the boy can't handle it!"

"I don't think _any_ of us can," Shaz commented.

Pretty girly Gene got to his feet. So much for Alex's plan to subject his team to abject humiliation. It had backfired worse than Kim after a plate of sprouts. He removed the clip-on earrings that he'd almost forgotten he was wearing and turned a sparkly but terrifying glare at Robin.

"_Batman_ – back in the kitchen," he commanded, "the only thing that's going to improve this damned day is a big juicy bird –"

"Is this where you go in a tangent about the Spice Girls again?" Alex asked.

"Not unless their latest record is about how many _sprouts_ they're getting," Gene told her.

Robin groaned as he got to his feet.

"Now I'm working out how the lyrics can apply to little round veggies, thanks a lot," he mumbled, "I'll get back to cooking."

"And be quick about it, _El Cape-o_," Gene demanded, "The queen's speech is in less than two hours and I want you all finished, plates emptied, bellies filled and coats _on_ by then." He glanced at Alex, "because I still have something in stockings to unwrap!"


	14. Twelve and Three Quarter Drummers

_**A/N: I'm so, so, so, SO sorry for the huge delay in getting this chapter written and posted. But here's the last full chapter and the epilogue will be up in the next couple of days along with the start of the next story :)**_

**~xXx~**

**12 and Three Quarter Drummers Drumming**

"I'd stay well out of there if I were you, Bols."

Alex glanced up as she finished putting the last of the plates into the dishwasher to see a slightly anxious Gene delivering to her some cutlery.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"They're doing sprouts."

Alex hesitated, then she gave a hefty frown.

"Sprouts aren't something you can 'do'," she said.

"They've found a way," Gene shuddered, "apparently they're the festive vegetable version of _shots_."

"Oh dear _god,"_ Alex put her hand to her forehead in horror and got back to her feet, "This isn't going to end well, is it?" she peered at Gene through a gap in her fingers. "should I take in a sick bucket?"

"Don't think you should go within six feet of them in case of gaseous expulsions," Gene told her, "They're on the second round."

"At least we won't be left with lots of leftovers," Alex sighed as she closed the door of the dishwasher and sighed. Christmas lunch had been pretty damn tasty. Robin had done a magnificent job of cooking and everyone's plate had been scraped clean, all but for the small, spherical green objects that plagued them.

"Time to turf them out anyway," Gene said gruffly, "it's ten to three, the queen's on in ten minutes, I've got me stocking to open and I want to make a start on this selection of fine beverages brought for our pleasure."

Alex started off the dishwasher and wiped her hands on a towel.

"Alright," she said, "I think we deserve some time to ourselves. She gave Gene a smile as she walked to the door. "But hasn't it been a perfect Christmas?"

Gene rubbed at the glittery eyeliner and scowled.

"Not for everyone," he told her and she laughed gently as she passed him by.

X

"Come on."

"No."

"Do it!"

"_No!"_

"You have to eat it!"

"_We've_ all eaten them!"

_"I'm_ not eating them!"

"You've got to!"

"Be a sport!"

"There's being a sport and then there's insuring my wrath for all eternity!"

"Come on, Kim," Simon urged her, "It's your _turn!"_

"Bloody isn't!"

"Just… you know… take one for the team."

Kim scowled.

"If I 'take one for the team' I'll be 'giving them off all night'," she warned.

Robin turned pale.

"She will, guys," he panicked, "don't make her do it!"

"Oh come _on,"_ Jake attempted, "You know what they say." Everyone stared at him blankly, "_Eat a sprout before december's out."_

Most of them continued to stare at him blankly.

"Who says that?" Kim demanded.

"_He_ does," Marci sighed with her head in her hands, "Jake, come _on_, you're just showing yourself up now."

"And she _still_ hasn't eaten a sprout," Shaz pointed out.

"Come on, Kim."

"Yes, come on, Metal Mickey," A voice jeered from the doorway, "put that green lump in yer gob and shove off home."

"Oh Gene, _no_, you can't throw us out before the queen's speech!" Simon protested.

"You hate the bloody thing more than anyone, Shoebury!"

"But it's tradition now!" Simon protested.

"Oh yes, I remember," Kim was suddenly interested, "It was the highlight of the _dhuwwwwmphh,_" Kim choked as Simon took the opportunity to put a sprout in her mouth and most of the gathered crowd cheered.

"Ohhhh _Simon_, what did you have to do _that_ for?!" Robin cried in alarm, scrambling away, "we're all going to be smothered in your blood in five seconds from now! Did you _really_ want to die on Christmas day?!"

Kim spluttered and choked as she gulped down the sprout, followed by most of a can of lager and then turned an extremely murderous glare at Simon.

"Gene, your firstborn son appears to be in morbid danger," Alex nudged Gene urgently.

"She's _your_ bit of skirt," Gene protested "_you_ go and distract her."

"_How_ exactly?" cried Alex, "she's got the red _mists!"_

"Try sticking yer tongue down her throat!"

"She'll have sprout breath!"

"Hold yer nose!"

"That's for taking horrible medicine!"

Gene watched as Simon attempted to sneeze out the remnants of a sprout

"It's all academic now anyway, Bols," he remarked, "Punishment's over and Shoebury's still alive."

"I wish I wasn't," Simon muttered as he brushed the last of the leaves from his nose.

"Right, ladies and gentleidiots," Gene clapped his hands, "nice of you to join us on this festive day. Don't hurry back though."

"You can't seriously be chucking us out!" Robin complained.

"Never been more serious about anything," Gene told them, "apart from that time I booked Dawson on those assertiveness classes and he had to walk round wearing stupid hats and squirty glasses."

"Those were _absurd_ness classes, Gene," Alex sighed.

"It's a mistake anyone could have made," Gene protested.

"We can't go now, Guv," Marci shivered "gas might still be off. What do we do for heat?"

Gene threw an armful of coats at the gathering.

"You're all bonking each other, get in a ruddy _pile,"_ he told them.

"_Excuse_ me?" Simon cried, "I'm not bonking _anyone!"_

Gene stared at him as he realised how pathetic he sounded.

"Yer no son of mine," Gene told him, _"Out!"_

As Gene firmly pushed him in the direction of the door Simon tried to hold him back.

"Gene, _Gene_, stop," he begged, "Wait."

"I'm not leaving you sneezing out sprouts while her majesty addresses the nation," Gene told him but Simon reached into his bag and pulled out a rather large parcel.

"I forgot to give you this earlier," he said, a little despondently, "Happy Christmas."

Gene started at it suspiciously.

"What's this?" he demanded, "a catheter? The remains of yer brain removal surgery?"

"It's nothing medical this time," Simon assured him. "Go on, open it."

Gene hesitated. He wasn't altogether sure opening the present was a good idea but Simon wasn't going to go until the damn thing was unwrapped so with a sigh he started to tear at the paper and soon revealed a gaudy box containing a green plush toy. His slightly shocked stare turned to Simon.

"It's me bloody Dipsy," he said.

"Yeah."

"You got me a bloody _Dipsy_!"

Simon swallowed. Was Gene genuinely pleased or brimming with sarcasm?

"Yeah…"

Gene narrowed his eyes at Simon for a few moments, then finally he spoke again.

"Your presence on me family tree is hereby reinstated," he said.

Simon looked slightly disappointed.

"Oh," he said, "Thank you?"

"Look, it's Her Maj!" cried Marci as the Queen's speech began.

"You can't call her _Her Maj!"_ cried Jake.

"I can and I did," Marci told him, poking her tongue in his direction.

"I think Jake's had enough access to your tongue today," Shaz told her

"Oh, we _have_ to watch it now, Guv|!" cried Kim, "it's a _tradition!"_

"_One_ time, Stringer!" Gene barked, "one time _ever_ you parked yer arse in front of me TV and drank in the heady atmosphere of Buckingham Palace!"

"Oh come on, Guv," Marci began, "don't you want to see what she says about Princess Di?"

Gene had almost forgotten Diana's death was only months ago.

"Not particularly," he said.

"We'll teach you how to play the Queen's Speech drinking game," Simon offered.

Gene hesitated for a few moments.

"What are you waiting for, Shoebury?" he demanded eventually, "get that volume up and a bottle out!"

~xXx~

"_Christmas reassures us that God is with us today. But, as I have discovered afresh for myself this year, he is always present in the kindness shown by our neighbours and the love of our friends and family. God bless you all and Happy Christmas."_

Marci stared at Jake.

"Why are you crying you sad sap?" she demanded.

Jake wiped his eyes surreptitiously on his party hat.

"I'm not," he lied, "I had a sprout in my eye."

Gene spluttered from knocking back his sixth scotch.

"Why did I have to get bloody _Commonwealth_?!" he choked, the six shots in a row a little extreme even for him.

"At least you didn't get '_Family'_," Robin spluttered and pulled a face.

"Bloody lightweight."

"She said it six times! Same as yours!"

Alex decided she'd gotten away lightly with four _Philip_s but was still having difficulty seeing straight.

"That was without a doubt the most pleasant speech I have ever heard her majesty deliver," she said, a little slur in her voice.

"I don't see what you're all complaining about," Kim moaned, "I only got two! Bloody Wales!"

Simon raised his empty glass drunkenly after downing six scotches for the word '_joy'_

"God bless devolution," he hiccupped.

"Next time I'm not doing principalities," Kim told them as she turned back to the screen and watched the Queen fading away for another year. She listened to the happy, if slightly drunken chatter around her and smiled warmly. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the spirit of a Christmas variety, but she felt somewhat fuzzy inside. There they were all the people she cared about, talking and laughing as though nothing bad had ever happened to them, although a few months ago it had been a very different story. It had been a terrible year. Yet now, here they were, _together._

"I've had my own _annus horribilis_, your majesty," she toasted the Queen, "and I don't even mean the time I pierced Simon's arse." She couldn't help smiling. "But, sod it, next year's going to be amazing."

She smiled through the lips that still bore a tiny bit of stubborn glittery pastel lipstick and ;let the sounds of her happy friends wash around her, but as a trailer for the new year's TV schedule began a strange shiver went down her spine. She swallowed and glanced behind her but there was no one there.

"Kim?"

Kim spun around again, surprised to see Alex looking at her, a little concerned.

"Ma'am," she blinked, "sorry."

"Is everything OK?" Alex asked with a frown.

"Yes," Kim forced a smile, even though she felt unnerved, "Sorry, it just felt like someone passed over my grave."

Alex gave a shudder too.

"It _is_ getting chilly in here," she said, "I'll turn the fire up a notch."

Kim gave her a wobbly smile as she left and took a deep breath. Why was she so jumpy? It wasn't like her. She just needed to relax a little. Lifting her glass, she polished off her unused measure and gave a deep sigh.

"See you next year, Queenie," she told her Majesty but a loud burst of static took her breath away and grasped her by the shoulders. Her head snapped around back to the direction of the TV as the BBC trailers cut in and out and waves of sparklies filled the screen. She looked at her friends. They were all seemingly oblivious, even those who were looking straight at the television. Her heart began to thump, she could hear it echoing through her mind and she felt a little breathless.

"…_have to face facts…"_

A voice came over the airwaves that reached right inside Kim's chest and near enough throttled her heart as it beat a little out of time. A horrid wave of nausea rose inside of her. She hadn't heard Linda's voice in a very long time but there was no mistaking it.

"_What?"_ she breathed as she stared, her eyes wide.

Shadows of figures could be seen through the fuzziness. Kim stared on in shocked silence, her heart rather than her eyes recognising the outline of her sons in profile as Linda concluded,

"…_she won't be coming home for Christmas."_

"What –" Kim's lips barely moved as she whispered the word but before she could do or say anything more another burst of static blasted across the screen, making her jump out of her skin, before it cleared to show a split-second flash of a girl, somewhere in her teens, spinning around with a look of terror upon her face. Kim drew back and swallowed hard, a loud heartbeat and a long, piercing tone sounding through her ears, but as quickly as it started everything stopped and only the new year trailer remained.

"_Kim?" _

Once again Alex's voice seemed to shake Kim from her stunned state.

"What?" She hissed before she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memories of what she had seen, "Ma;am, sorry… I'm sorry."

Alex looked concerned, and not without good reason. Moments earlier Kim's face had been flushed with happiness and laughter, now she looked as pale as the little, cold flakes that were starting to fall outside.

"What's the matter?" she asked worriedly. Kim's thin smile did littler to reassure her.

"Sorry, Ma'am," she said, "sprout flashbacks. You know how it is."

Alex hesitated.

"Did you see something, Kim?"

Kim froze once again; Alex's words taking her by surprise. She hesitated for a second before she said quietly,

"No. of course not. Why would I?"

For a moment a strange glance passed between them; Kim shaken from what she'd seen and Alex's strange question and Alex worried by Kim's pallor and the strange feeling in the air, but as Gene began to herd the crowd towards the door to make another attempt at ridding himself of his guests it seemed that this wasn't going to be the time for either to ask any further.

"Yeah, we probably should go now," Robin's arm suddenly slipped around Kim's shoulder which pulled her away from the strangeness of the moment just passed, "we left a mountain of wrapping paper the size of Simon's Red Dwarf collection in the bedroom."

"OK," Kim said quietly. She felt safer and reassured for the contact with Robin and relished the sensation of his arm around her as they walked towards the doorway.

"Come back to mine?" Marci asked Shaz.

"Love to, babe," Shaz smiled. She glanced at Jake. "I'm not interrupting your Christmas traditions am I?" she asked, a little anxiously.

"Nah," Jake told herm his hands in his pockets, "I've got a massive box of chocolates and a bottle of bubbly waiting at home. Duvet, choccies and Christmas TV, that'll do me fine."

"I'll see you tomorrow though?" Robin asked him and Jake smiled.

"Definitely," he said, trying not to let Marci see him blushing. He'd never hear the last of that.

"I'll just go home and soak my bloody nipples," Simon said dejectedly, folding his arms, yelping and unfolding them.

"Oh for god's sake, next time you come round begging for metal I'm running a mile," Kim told him as a hand grabbed her sleeve and stopped her from leaving the house. She turned around to see Gene standing behind her a slightly weird expression on his face. "Guv?" she frowned. He didn't seem very comfortable. Either he was constipated or he was about to say a word like 'please' or 'sorry'.

He shuffled a little on the spot.

"Suppose yer heating might still be off when you get home, Stringer," he told her. With some reluctance he pulled a bottle from behind him and thumped it gracelessly into her hands. "Have to find a different way tio keep warm," then he added quickly, "one that doesn't involve tipping the velvet with me missus."

Kim stared at the bottle, then back at Gene, totally speechless.

"G-Guv?" she could barely speak, "You're giving up a bottle of _scotch?"_

"I suppose the station hasn't gone _too_ far downhill since you've been on the premises," he sniffed reluctantly, "and it's not been _all_ bad having someone with your extremely violent tendencies on me side. Plus I haven't seen Bammo scaring Shoebury with water balloons since the day you arrived."

"I threatened to put them in a delicate place, that's why," said Kim.

"Case in point," said Gene. He nodded, "Go on then. Take yer spoils, give me missus lip service and bugger off."

Kim hesitated, slightly unsure.

"You what?"

"Before the scotch wears off and I change my mind." Gene barked.

Kim bit the side of her lip, her heart thumping for a very different reason as she glanced at Alex somewhat nervously, rose up on tiptoes and chanced a chaste peck on the lips. She looked back at Gene, remembering the battles they'd bad way back in the day when she'd first arrived at Fenchurch East as a young, demoted DS with an attitude problem. Back then she'd learnt that he wasn't so bad and despite still clashing on a regular basis she had a grudging respect for him. For the first time it looked a little like the feeling might be mutual.

Never in her life had she felt so at home, so accepted, so content, and despite the strange instance a few moments earlier she felt a happiness coming over her like she'd rarely felt before. Overwhelmed by elation, she dived in a second time, grasping Alex's cheeks and pulling her closer to kiss her properly before moving away and leaving her quite breathless. Beaming, she turned back to Gene. The Christmas spirit took a firm hold of her and she dived forward, grabbed him and soon left him reeling in horror from a surprise smacker before grabbing Robin with her free hand and almost floating from the house in happiness.

A horrified Gene turned to Alex, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve.

"That's all _three_ of the twats now!" he cried, "all _three_ of them! I need to learn to turn me sexual magnetism down a couple of notches, I'm going to have whatsherface with the big arse going after me for a portion next time!"

"The only portions she's interested in are the ones of _sprouts_ she dishes out," Alex said with an amused smile, stepping forward, "and besides, you can leave that sexual magnetism turned up, just for tonight." She took him by the hand, pulled him closer and kissed him with a smile, "You've got your stocking to unwrap now."

Gene's look of horror was replaced by a smug grin.

"Merry bloody Christmas," he declared.

And a merry one it was indeed.

**The End**

_**Epilogue up in the next couple of days!**_


	15. Epilogue: My True Love Gave to Me

_**A/N: So much for this being a short epilogue! Ha ha, Enjoy!**_

**~xXx~**

**Epilogue: My True Love Gave to Me**

"So how did that rate as far as Christmases go then?" Marci asked as she clung to Shaz's arm and they braved the bracing breeze together.

"Definitely ten out of ten," Shaz smiled. It wasn't the way she'd expected Christmas to turn out but then that had been a theme from the passing year. Nothing had turned out the way she'd expected it to. From being accepted into the Canine division training program to her promotion, to meeting the woman who'd put a smile back on her face, it had been one hell of a year.

"I can't believe DCI Drake had her _nipples_ pierced," Marci commented, laughing a little at the thought.

"I can believe that, I _can't_ believe DCI _Shoebury_ did," Shaz smirked.

"Do you think they catch on that jumper?" Marci asked and Shaz pulled away to cover her ears.

"Oh, don't even make me _think_ about that!" she giggled, running ahead a few paces with a giggling Marci in pursuit. When she caught up to Shaz she gripped her by the sleeve and spun her around while she shrieked before pinning her against a wall and looking at her. There was a sparkle in her eye that made Marci's heart flutter.

"So," she said, "marks out of ten for nineteen ninety seven?"

Shaz's smile wavered between happy and sentimental. It had been a hard year in so many respects, but the end of it left her full of hope for the future.

"I give it nine," she said.

Marci smiled.

"Got to give ninety eight somewhere to go," she guessed, "right?"

Shaz beamed.

"Right," she said.

~xXx~

Jake threw his keys on the kitchen table and checked the heating. It was still off, but that was OK. He hadn't expected any different and he already had his afternoon planned out. Just as he'd said, he grabbed his duvet and the box of chocolates he had in mind. He left the bottle of bubbly where it was for now though. Probably better to wait until the flat warmed up some before he reached into the fridge. Instead he made himself a hot coffee and settled down on the couch to lose himself in festive TV.

He's already eaten three nice chocolates and a coffee cream before he noticed the red light flashing on his answer phone and groaned.

"_God,"_ he mumbled, "why can't they invent phones you can come when you call them?" he attempted to persuade his phone to come toward him but it decided against following his instructions so he peeled back the duvet and slouched along to the machine instead. His dinner and the alcohol were making him sleepy and he felt fairly sure whoever had left the message wasn't going to be worth listening to, but he was up already so he might as well.

"_You have one new message,"_ the phone told him before the automated lady cut out and a click signified the beginning of the call.

"_Jake, hi…"_

Jake sighed and closed his eyes.

"Dad," he mumbled under his breath.

"_Sorry I missed you,"_ the message continued_, "thanks for calling. Had a nice morning down the pub, catching up."_

"Nice that you caught up with _someone_," Jake mumbled, flopping back onto the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

"_Still, there's always new year,"_ the northern voice on the line continued, _"maybe see you then. Hope you had a good one. Bye, Jake."_

Jake stared at the phone as the message ended and the light stopped flashing.

"Bye," he said quietly, not even sure why. He tucked himself up under the duvet again and reached for another chocolate. So much for family. Ever since his dad had moved back to his home town they'd had as little contact as possible. Maybe that was for the best, Jake thought. As far as he was concerned his family were the people who made him feel happy. Marci, Robin, his friends and colleagues.

He finally broke into a smile again. The year had brought with it many changes. Starting at a new station with Marci, opening up a new circle of friends, even bringing love into his life, _finally_. 1997 had been a mixed year but had finally helped him to find his place. He couldn't wait to spend Boxing day with Robin, or new year's eve partying with all his friends from the station, or new year's day tucked up on the couch with Marci, nursing their traditional hangovers.

"As long as she doesn't stick her tongue down my throat again," Jake mumbled to himself, trying not to think about the fact that he was secretly giving her ten out of ten for that kiss. Unfortunately one of his body parts didn't get the message that they were ignoring the kiss and to his horror he found himself jumping to attention. "Wait, that's new," he mumbled, ashamed. "Oh no you don't, Marci's my best friend! Piss off!" But there was no denying that was a pretty good kiss. He scowled under the duvet momentarily and then relented. "_Alright_," he told it crossly, "but this stays between you and me. Marci must never, ever know."

That was _definitely_ the last time Jake was going to play truth or dare.

~xXx~

Simon scuffed his shoes along the ground on his way home. There were pangs of sadness and disappointment setting in. He hated to admit it because as far as Christmases went it had been a pretty good one. He and Kim had managed to get a taste of 1995 again, he'd spent it with people he felt close to and it was the first one since he found out the truth about his parentage, even though he'd been temporarily 'fired' as a son during the course of the day.

But there was something missing for Simon. Something lacking. Where were the mistletoe kisses? The gifts bought with love and care? The warm arms to welcome in Christmas day and take him to bed when the day was at an end? He couldn't help but feel jealous of his friends, every last one of them. They all had one thing he didn't – they had love in their lives.

He had friends. He had god damned _amazing_ friendships. He wasn't disputing that. He was as close to Robin and Kim as he could ever imagine. But it was no substitute for the feeling of being really, truly loved by someone who looked at him with the same hunger in their eyes that he would catch between Alex and Gene or Robin and Kim or anyone else in the station-wide _orgy_ that Simon felt sure was emerging.

"Just me," he mumbled as he arrived home, "alone. _Always_ alone." He kicked at the doorstep as he half-mumbled and half sang a line from a song that had plagued him on the radio two years earlier, _"It's gonna be a cold, cold Christmas without you…"_

As his key reached the lock he froze. Not only wasn't the door locked but it swung open slowly. "Shit…" he blinked and swallowed anxiously as he peered inside. "H-_hello?"_

Nervously he climbed the stairs. He was certain he'd locked the downstairs door that morning. What the hell was going on? Oh _god_, please don't say he'd been burgled on Christmas _day._

"What… _the…?!"_

He reached the top of the stairs and found his gaze caught by a slightly gaudy item outside of his door. A frown filled his brow. He looked left and right before he closed in upon it and inspected it a little closer. It was a slightly tatty, gaudy item; a hologramic gift bag that looked as though it had been swiped right from somebody's recycling bin. Beside it was a pristine red envelope which Simon picked up and examined. There was nothing on the front but who else was it going to be for? His guinea pigs? He opened it up and slipped the card from inside. A generic holly wreath greeted him but as he opened the card a little tingle travelled down his spine. _'To Simon',_ it said. Those were the only words that were hand written. A general printed greeting sat below it but the card remained unsigned.

He recognised that writing.

"_I guess you didn't know what to call yourself either,"_ he whispered.

A little nervously, he lifted the gift bag and carefully pulled out a bottle. Scotch; not the good stuff admittedly but that didn't much matter. Simon had never understood the concept of '_it's the gift that counts'_ as clearly as he did in that moment.

The giver was long since gone, but for the first time in over two years Simon felt just a hint of the love he craved.

"_Merry Christmas, Keats,"_ he whispered into the empty corridor.

~xXx~

"Home again," Robin somehow managed to get the key into the lock and open the door for them both. The Queen's Speech drinking game had left him somewhat sozzled, happy and with a slightly fresh opinion on the monarchy.

Kim shuddered as the coldness of the flat hit her.

"It's almost warmer outside, she commented and Robin slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"I suppose the gas must still be off," he commented a little unnecessarily.

"I'm surprised you even need heat after all that scotch," Kim told him.

"Maybe if it had been brandy things would be different," Robin commented.

They walked through to the kitchen. It was funny but wherever they'd been, wherever they'd lived, the kitchen was a constant. It was their place of focus. Well, that and the bed. They would head to the kitchen after coming home from work or getting back from the shops or first thing in the morning, last thing at night… partly that was to do with Robin's love of cooking but it was just something they had always done, right back as far as the start of their friendship and then throughout their relationship.

"I have a plan though," he told her, placing his hands against her waist and looking her in the eye the best that he could when his vision was rather hit and miss thanks to the scotch.

"Oh yeah?" Kim wasn't sure if this was going to be a _proper_ plan or just some kind of drunken rambling about the X Files.

"Gene gave you a vat of alcohol –"

"A bottle," Kim protested, "if it had been a vat I might have proposed marriage."

"And I've got brandy you gave me this morning," Robin continued, "how about we add some coffees to that menu, grab a few snacks and return to our favourite place?"

Kim felt the corners of her mouth rising in a grin.

"Bed it is," she agreed.

X

Listening to the sound of the kettle boiling, Kim wandered through to the bedroom and took a look around it. It was strange to think that it had once belonged to Alex and Gene. In fact, it had been theirs for more than a decade. Sometimes she felt a little awkward about that. She would sometimes recall who had been sleeping there a year earlier.

"They did more than _sleep_ in here," she commented, rolling her eyes. Still, she could talk.

Discarding some wrapping paper from the bed, she slipped beneath the covers and snuggled down into the soft sheets. Her mind tried to wander back to the strange images she'd seen on the television but she shook them away. They made no sense to her. Of _course_ she wasn't coming home for Christmas.

It had been many, many months since Linda even crossed her mind and seeing her again brought back all the spiteful things that she'd said to Kim. It brought back a little of the belief that she'd been right about them as well. Kim tried very hard to fight that back but it was hard. It had taken a very long time to let Robin's positive words overwrite the way that Linda had made her feel about herself.

The guilt she felt about leaving her sons behind still crippled her every day. She had made a choice, the hardest decision of her life, and there wasn't a day that went by where she didn't feel pain at their separation but she knew she had done the right thing, the only thing she _could_ have done to save Alex and Robin from Keats.

She looked up as Robin arrived with a tray in his hands. He looked a little anxious for some reason. Or maybe it was just the cold, or perhaps the after effects of the drinking game. Kim peeled back the duvet and smiled.

"Get in," she told him.

Robin sat the tray on the bed and carefully slipped in beside her, careful not to disturb the tray.

"I brought biscuits," he told her.

Kim leaned back and groaned.

"After the size of that dinner I doubt I'll eat until the new year," she told him.

"I'm making pizza tomorrow," Robin pointed out.

"I'm revising my previous statement," Kim said wryly and Robin smiled. He handed her a mug and set his own by the bed before shuffling down beneath the covers, taking Kim with him until only their heads and fingertips were visible. He looked into her eyes and couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Happy Christmas, Kim," he said.

Kim smiled back, warmed by the feeling of his hand reaching around to pull her closer.

"Happy Christmas, Rob," she whispered.

Robin brushed her hair back with his fingertips as he stared into her eyes. Something had been worrying him a little.

"Is everything alright?" he asked her.

Kim closed her eyes momentarily as his touch soothed her anxiety.

"Aside from not being able to get rid of the taste of that sprout," she sighed, "I'm fine."

"Sure?"

She opened her eyes and looked at Robin again.

"Of course, Rob," she said, "why?"

Robin bit his lip and hesitated.

"It's just," he gave a tiny sigh, "you seemed a little weird."

"Weird? When?" Kim frowned, "don't say 'since the day we me.,"

Robin laughed gently but quickly became serious again.

"It was after the queen's speech," he tild her, "you were staring, you turned really pale."

"I did?" Kim swallowed. She didn't want to talk about what she had seen. She couldn't _understand_ it for a start, and the less she had to think about it the better. She looked away and shrugged a little. "I guess it was hearing about Diana's death. Brought back some bad memories."

Robin nodded slowly.

"Yeah," he whispered, thinking back to that fateful day and Keats finding them together in the basement. He had been quite glad of the six shots of scotch to take his mind away from that during the speech.

"Rob?"

Suddenly Kim seemed quiet and strained, and Robin looked at her worriedly.

"What's the matter?" he asked quietly.

Kim swallowed.

"You know Linda?"

Robin felt himself bristle at the merest mention of her.

"The arsehole who wanted to meddle with perfection? Yeah, kind of."

Kim tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it.

"W-what do you think she told my boys?" she whispered, "when I… I mean, I jumped because… because I _had_ to, I had to get here, and… and I know how that looks to everyone else…" she flinched, "I sent a letter but…"

"Kim," Robin reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, "it doesn't matter what she told them because they know their mum. And one day, when they're old enough, that letter will reach them and they'll understand. They'll understand why you made the choice, Kim. They'll admire you for it."

"I left them behind."

"They'll understand."

"I'm not sure _I_ ever could."

"There are people who can _help_ them understand," Robin told her, "Maybe Molly. Maybe your _letter_ will give them all that they need. I know they _will_ understand, Kim. I'm sure of that."

"Linda won't though." Kim's chest felt heavy all of a sudden.

"I don't care what she thinks," Robin whispered, "she almost destroyed you. Destroyed the things that make you you. The things that make you perfect."

"Oh right," Kim mocked, "if you look up _imperfection_ there's a picture of me there."

Robin gave a little smirk.

"You're perfectly imperfect," he told her.

"That's just corny," she poked out her tongue and he laughed.

"You see?" he said, "_perfect_." He looked her in the eye to clarify, "perfect to me. Who cares about anyone else? They're not the ones waking up beside you every day. They can't possibly know."

"Linda did." Kim swallowed as she saw an anxious look crossing Robin's face. "She woke up beside me every day and she saw all those imperfections, and she hated each and every one, pointing them out until I hated them too."

"Kim, stop –" Robin began, moving closer, but Kim stopped him. He needed to hear what she had to say.

"And she was right about every last one of them," she told him, "I'm _all_ those things that she said I was, and I did all of those things that she detested. I burp and I fart and I swear like a bloody sailor, I can drink Gene Hunt under the table, and I'd rather pick up a bag of chips than pick through a salad. I can't cook to save my life, my common sense departed years ago and I've got a temper so fiery it could melt aluminium." She saw Robin righting himself to lecture her about being so hard on herself but that wasn't her point and she needed him to see that. "These are all things you said yourself, Rob, remember?" he looked a little blank, "in the car park, at the station, when we –" she wasn't sure how to phrase it, _"'came out'_… in reverse… kind of," she sat up and took Robin's hand, squeezing it tightly, "and you said them… you said them for a different reason. You didn't say them to criticise You said them because they were things you loved me _for_, not in _spite_ of. And that… that's what makes _you_ perfect." She swallowed, "perfect for me." Her heart was racing, she could see from the look on Robin's face that his was, too. "And after everything we've been through, and all the things in our way, everything we've survived to be together, I have never felt happier or more at home than I do right now. More than that I've just never," she blinked, trying not to succumb to the emotions that were threatening to blow her touch exterior to shreds, "never felt so loved. Or so much _in_ love," those were not words that came easily to Kim and Robin knew it. To hear them took his breath away.

"_Kim,"_ he breathed as she reached behind her and felt around in her bedside table for one last present, the one gift she still had to give.

"And that's why," she whispered, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because you and me… we're perfect. Perfect together."

The moment that Robin caught sight of the tiny box in her hand his heart felt as though it did a 360 degree flip inside his chest.

"_Oh god,"_ he whispered as she held it, shaking, in front of her.

"Rob –"

"_Wait."_ Robin bit his lip then reached out for the tray. Under a couple of napkins was hidden a tiny box with a little yellow ribbon tied around it. He could feel his hand trembling as he held it out beside Kim's and they looked at one another, neither sure whether to laugh or cry. A mix of both seemed like a fair compromise.

"_Shit,"_ Kim sniffed back a tear as she bit her lip and tried to work out whether she was smiling or not, "fucking done it again, haven't we?"

Robin nodded silently, his eyes sparkling. He looked at her, taking in every inch of her face, every part of her expression as he finally whispered.

"It's my turn this time."

"Oh _bollocks_ it is!" Kim wiped her eyes, choking out a laugh, "neither of us got to ask the question last time, you were lying in a bloody _coma!"_

"You took back my ring and asked me on leap day!"

"It wasn't properly official; we were already engaged by then!"

"Like we're not now!"

Kim wiped her eyes again, her vision blurred.

"Alright," she conceded quietly, her heart thumping and pulsing as she stared at Robin's face, "your turn. Ask me."

Robin closed his eyes and smiled.

"Ask you what?" he teased.

"Ask me your question before I give you a demonstration of my fiery temper," Kim teased and Robin laughed. With hands that shook and trembled he opened up the tiny box and showed her a ring, a little more ornate than the one still on her finger. He thought for certain he was going to drop it as his hands continued to shake but somehow he managed to hold the ring out towards her without losing it in the covers. He held her hand and let the ring hover at the end of her finger.

"Kim Stringer," he whispered, "will you marry me?"

Kim swallowed hard as a tear rolled from her eye and a broad smile stretched across her face. She fumbled her own box open with her other hand and plucked the ring from inside it.

"If you'll marry me?" she whispered, grabbing for his other hand.

"_Yes,"_ he breathed.

"_Yes,"_ Kim whispered, her veins pulsing with elation.

They slipped the rings onto one another's fingers, grasped each other in a tight embrace, cried and laughed and held one another until they could no longer resist the overwhelming urge to consummate the moment.

The year had been beyond difficult and never before had two people been through so many trials to be together. For now, life was handing them nothing but happiness.

How long for? Perhaps only the crackle of the static could decide.

~xXx~

"Not now, Gene, I'm too tired."

"You weren't saying that when I got out the chocolate spread," Gene reminded her and Alex opened one eye to give him a smirk.

"What do you think left me in my current state of exhaustion?" she said.

Gene took her feet and lifted them up.

"Shift yer carcass, Lady B," he told her, dropping them to the floor as she let out an _'oof'_ noise.

"_Thanks,"_ she frowned, sitting up to give Gene some room. He planted his backside beside her and leaned back, every bit as exhausted as Alex was. It had been a day of unexpected activity and he was fairly drained, but as far as Christmases went he had few complaints.

"That's it then." He sighed, "over for another year."

"You actually sound disappointed," Alex pointed out.

"_Bah humbug_," Gene remarked.

"Oh _bullshit_," Alex closed her eyes again and smiled. It really _had_ been an amazing Christmas. It hadn't been the peaceful one she had envisaged but it had been so much better. After the trauma that the whole team had been through that year it had been somewhat fitting that they spent it together; _strong, united, happy._ "So when do I get my big one then?"

Gene half-choked.

"Thought you had enough of that half an hour ago," he said and Alex rolled her eyes.

"I meant my present," she sighed.

"Who says you're getting one?" Gene challenged, "wasn't yer can opener good enough for you?"

"I suspect that Gene Hunt has more tricks up his sleeve than a glitzy tin opener," Alex told him.

Gene left enough for a pause for Alex to start to double guess herself before he relented and sighed.

"Fine," he said, "wanted to save it for bedtime but if you _have_ to spoil the surprise."

"All day is bed time as far as you're concerned so what does it matter? Alex asked, raising an eyebrow as Gene slipped off the couch and crawled around under the tree, rooting for a package. He finally backed up and handed her a surprisingly heavy prism-shaped object. "What's this?" she frowned.

"Gold plated Toblerone," Gene sniffed. He was about to reference triangular honey from triangular bees when Alex's withering glance told him that she was not in the mood for listening to old advertising campaigns. "Open it."

Alex paused momentarily.

"It's not a _really_ long can to test out my other present is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"_Open_ the bloody thing, Bolly, before I take it back and exchange it for a tin of beans."

Pulling a face, Alex began to peel open the wrapping paper. A heavy prism of wood slipped from the parcel and she held it in her hands. As she stared at the metal plate upon it and read the words she felt a strange shiver; a _good_ shiver.

"_Gene,"_ she whispered.

"Bit early, I know," he grunted, "just an insurance policy. Make sure nothing happens this time."

_DCI Alex Hunt_, the name block said.

"_Thank_ you," Alex whispered.

"Now, me bigoted male chauvinistic brain is assuming you're going to take my name," Gene continued, "and if I'm wrong I'll get a screwdriver and go over it meself."

"No, no, it's perfect," Alex smiled somewhat distantly.

"Or you could be a hyphened do-dah," Gene suggested, "but if you go calling yerself _Alex Hunt-Drake_ it'll sound like you're going out to shoot ducks."

"I think I'll stick to hunting the scum on the streets," Alex smiled again. She looked at Gene and her smile turned into a face-wide grin. "Thank you, Gene. It's _perfect_, and I can't wait to use it." Her arms wrapped around Gene's neck and her lips placed a warm, joyful kiss against his lips as she thought about all that lay ahead in the coming year. Their wedding was only a few months away and it was starting to feel real. There had been times she'd never thought a second ring would join the first on her finger but that day was coming closer now.

"Well?"

She hesitated, surprised by Gene's prompt.

"Well what?" she asked.

"You've got yer lump of wood…"

"For the second time today," Alex commented slyly.

"…Now isn't it time for something I can nurture lovingly day in and day out?"

"That depends on which direction your '_men'_ have travelled in," Alex began cheekily but Gene folded his arms.

"Cyberpet. Now." He commanded.

"I thought they were called Tamagotchis," Alex teased.

"They'll be called _taking yer tin opener back_ if one doesn't appear in the next five minutes," Gene told her and Alex rolled her eyes.

"It's under the tree," she told him.

"I can't see it!"

"Right under! Next to the 'trunk'!"

Gene sighed and slipped back onto the floor to crawl under the branches.

"Where is it?" he grunted, then, "Wait, found it…" he started to back out slowly, his backside looming into view again. "Hang on, Bolds." He emerged with a trio of parcels, "two more under here."

"Oh, that's the one Kim gave me earlier," Alex said, taking a large, flat present from Gene. To her confusion he handed her a second, smaller gift that somehow looked strangely familiar although she wasn't sure why. "What's this?"

"Don't ask me," Gene said, heaving himself back onto the couch with his wrapped tamagotchi.

"Well you must have put it there," Alex frowned.

"Never seen it in my life," shrugged Gene.

"If you didn't put it there who did?" Alex asked.

Gene shrugged again.

"Father bloody Christmas?"

"_Gene!"_

"_I_ don't know!" Gene shook his head as Alex stared at the gift in her hands. She felt a strange tingle spread through her body and bit her lip.

"I recognise this," she said quietly.

For the first time Gene took a proper look at the little parcel and frowned.

"It had better not be an engagement ring from yer bit of skirt," he told her.

"Oh _shush_, it's not ring-shaped," Alex told him, but with that having been said it still looked like a little jewellery box. "Are you _sure_ this isn't from you?"

But Gene had managed to peel the paper from his Tamagotchi and was already busy feeding it an ice cream.

"I'll have to bring this to the office, you realise that don't you Bols?" he said as it beeped away happily, "they die if you leave them alone."

"_Praise be,"_ Alex sighed. She placed the little box on the table, not sure she was ready to open it yet and turned her attention to Kim's gift instead. Her reaction to giving it to Alex had been somewhat unusual and not very Kim-like which made her wonder exactly what was inside. She finished peeling away some sellotape and pulled from the paper a silver frame. "Lovely," she said quietly but took a moment to realise what Kim had placed within it.

Her whole expression changed and her heart started to race as her hands trembled and one rose involuntarily to her mouth while she gave a gasp and struggled to keep hold of the item. _"Oh my god,"_ she whispered.

"What?" Gene asked, offering his cyber pet another ice cream and accidentally making it sick.

"_Gene?"_

Alex's whisper pulled his attention away from his new toy and his eyes turned to the picture inside the frame; a hand-drawn sketch of a small baby. Gene stared at Alex blankly, waiting for her to explain but she just carried on staring, swallowing hard.

"What am I looking at?" Gene asked, confused.

"I-I dont know exactly but," she reached back into the wrapping paper to fetch a note that had been left inside, "I _think_ I know."

Gene continued to stare.

"Mind enlightening me?"

Alex unfolded the note and swallowed as she opened it for them both to read;

"_I did the best I could. My memory of her is fading, it feels like a very long time ago. She's beautiful though, Ma'am. Please don't take the piss, this isn't my usual style. Your baby is beautiful. Love K x"_

Alex couldn't speak. She couldn't say a word. There were none to say anyway. She sat and stared, her hand to her lips as tears rolled silently from her eyes and fell to the frame on her knees. She felt Gene's arm slide around her shoulders as he pulled her a little closer. He knew that it was best he stayed silent for the most part – opening his big mouth was only going to lead to him saying the wrong thing and spending a night on the couch. But there was one thing he had to say that wasn't going to get him in trouble.

"Stringer's right about one thing," he said, "she is beautiful." He slowly let out his breath, "like her ruddy mother."

He noticed that Alex's tears began to fall a little faster but she still couldn't speak. No wonder Kim had told her to open it in private. Her eyes fixed on the young face in the frame and to Alex it was the closest she had come to spending a Christmas with her baby girl, the one she never even got to kiss.

It seemed as though eons passed without a word. Then suddenly there was a dramatic beep and a miserable noise and Gene turned his attention back to his tamagotchi to see that it had already died through neglect.

"_Bugger_," he mumbled, "damn thing's carked it." He threw the tamagotchi across the room and folded his arms in protest. Can't even look after an electronic arsehole. What chance would I have stood with _that_?" he nodded to the picture and Alex noticed a genuine misting over his eyes. It wasn't something she ever saw. She laid her fingers on his arm.

"You'd have done everything right," she whispered, "and," she turned back to the frame, "she's got your nose."

With little smiles and more contemplation, several minutes of silence passed again before Gene got to his feet.

"Going to find a hammer and nails," he mumbled as he walked away.

Alex wasn't sure she was ready for that. But the gesture was too important for her to tell Gene that so she gave a sad smile and nodded. As he walked away the second gift caught her eye, sitting on the table. She'd quite forgotten about that. She carefully laid the picture down and picked up the small, wrapped box. Where had it come from and why the hell did it look so familiar? It was strange, she couldn't identify it but she felt _so_ sure she had seen it before.

"Déjà vu," she mumbled as she slowly unwrapped it and took out a small jewellery box from inside.

As she flicked it open her hand rose quickly to her mouth again and she damn near dropped the box to the ground.

"_Oh my god,"_ she gasped. Before her was a necklace she recognised, one that she'd been given one year earlier, in a different world, in a different year. Her trembling hand reached into the box and carefully lifted it up. _Best Mum_, it said.

"_My Molly,"_ she breathed, her heart skipping a beat.

Her eyes darted around. How the _hell_ had it got there? Had Kim or Robin done it? They knew about the necklace, but they had never seen the wrapping or the box. Shit, what the hell _was_ this? Some kind of Christmas bloody _miracle?_

She closed her eyes tightly and grasped the necklace in the palm of her had. She could still hear Molly's excitement as she'd unwrapped the gift the year before and the guilt she felt knowing that she was planning to leave forever. Gene needed her more than Molly did. That was a hard thing to admit, but it was true. Kim wasn't the only one whose decision – as right as it was for everyone – caused her pain. But she also knew inside that Molly would survive without her, and right then she felt closer to her daughter than she had in years.

"_Merry Christmas, Molly,"_ she whispered, "merry Christmas… _everyone_."

Alex felt loved, settled and happy.

It was one Christmas she was never going to forget.

**The End**

**~xXx~**

_**A/N: And they said it coudn't be done! Fifteen chapters of fluff. I, Misty, survived fifteen chapters of FLUFF! Do I get a reward? I think I should. I think my reward should be plenty of angst in upcoming stories! Yes, that seems like a fair deal to me!**_

_**Thank you for reading this festive, fluffy offering (at totally the wrong time of year :D) – I hope you've enjoyed it and enjoyed a well-deserved break from all the trauma and the angst! Don't worry though, that returns big-time :D**_

_**Thank you to Steph for being a wonderful (not to mention beautiful, loving and awesome) girlfriend and putting me in a fluffy frame of mind to write this :D and Charlotte, thank you for faithfully reviewing and for your confidence in me to actually write fluff! Jess, when you've caught up to the end of this fic you're gonna be proud of me! Ha! Thank you as well to Sillivan, anon reviews and everyone on FFnet and Tumblr who's messaged me, as well as everyone who asked if I was coping with the fluff :P Yes, I survived!**_

_**Back to normal with the next fic, which I will be posting the prologue for later tonight or first thing tomorrow. It is the first fic set in 1998. And I hate to say this but as a kind of sideline ahhhhh I'm also going to start a Doctor Who crossover… I'm kind of in love with Clara and it's sort of writing itself and I was powerless to stop it! Don't worry, although it does have its place in canon you won't be missing anything by not reading if you're not a Whovian, it's pretty much an excuse for me to have The Doctor and Gene squaring off with one another and to get Clara to go clubbing with Marci and the others :P**_

_**Things might be slower in general over the next few months. Aside from being busy IRL with my new business 1998 is a hard year in general to write, and I need to space out the timing of the next fic because the one after needs to start on a certain day so that it kind of runs along in real-time. It begins a year-long story arc that spans several stories.**_

_**The third anniversary of the end of A2A draws closer as we head towards May which means it's almost 3 years since I started writing this series of stories. For following this far, you all deserve a medal and I can't thank you enough, You are awesome, guys! :D have a latte on me!**_


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